my best friend and my brother in one one year

[heart on fire]

after i lost my best friend to a drug overdose which i belive to have been intentional, i told myself that i would listen for the signs and i would try and be the good freind that "jake" was. he was the type of guy that would ask you how were doing and ask "just okay" "just good". he really cared about those around him. i told myself that i let him down and that i didnt deserve him as a friend.

i thought about suicide.

until i lost my older brother recently to suicide. i saw how it affected my mom. she is not the same person, no one in my family is, we are still, months later at a loss for words. my mother is unable to work, and it is hard because she was so driven and strong.

if you are thinking of taking ur life. think of the consequences because they do exist, and they live forever in those you love. i understand the depression they both felt, but i have also seen the pain their death causes, the question they leave behind...

there are people that love all of us. dont hurt those that love you, and those you love.

 

[Esmeralda]

What an amazing person you are for not only making it through these horrible, horrible events in your life, but for coming here to try to help those who are thinking about ending their lives. Your Mom is very lucky to have you in her life. :hug:

 

[gentlelady]

I am sorry to hear of the loss of two such important people in your life. You are truly courageous to be able to post here about what it is like to be a survivor of someone that suicides. I think it is important for people to know the effects their actions will have on someone else. I am glad that out of this tragedy some good did happen. You are no longer considering taking your own life. So in a way, by taking their lives they saved yours. I know that is no consulation at all to you, but it is a silver lining in a cloud of darkness.

 

[Cluster]

after i lost my best friend to a drug overdose which i belive to have been intentional, i told myself that i would listen for the signs and i would try and be the good freind that "jake" was. he was the type of guy that would ask you how were doing and ask "just okay" "just good". he really cared about those around him. i told myself that i let him down and that i didnt deserve him as a friend.

i thought about suicide.

until i lost my older brother recently to suicide. i saw how it affected my mom. she is not the same person, no one in my family is, we are still, months later at a loss for words. my mother is unable to work, and it is hard because she was so driven and strong.

if you are thinking of taking ur life. think of the consequences because they do exist, and they live forever in those you love. i understand the depression they both felt, but i have also seen the pain their death causes, the question they leave behind...

there are people that love all of us. dont hurt those that love you, and those you love.

this is the reason I am keeping myself alive =(
but i know i dont need to die, but it feels like the only way.
but I could never do that to my family.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Hae-Gi]

I mention my future intent to kill myself, subtly, every now and then, to my mother... I've also told her, several times, I won't live past around 35. She should be aware of it happening in the future, so she won't be as shocked when it happens. I've also always said that neither she nor anyone else could change anything, which is the truth... only true love could, but then I'd have to kill myself, due to age, before around 35, anyway.

There's not really any option other than suicide, when it all comes down to it. Even if I'd be happy, I'd have to die, before getting too old.

Sorry about your loss....

 

[Darkness N Light]

Heart,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I know what it is to lose someone you love to suicide. I lost my fiance to suicide 5 years ago. If you ever need to talk I am here. Take care and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss


With Love,
Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss

 

[Unknown_111]

Hi, love your post especially the last sentence so true ten years ago as it applies today. I hope YOU are ok today? The ones you still miss are in your heart and mind today and forever. Never forget that.

Take care and be safe.