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My cat of 17 years passed away

Scytaic

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#1
#1
My 17yo cat, Tinkabell passed away on Friday. I've had her her whole life and she has always meant the world to me. Back before 2013, I was at a very low place, I was living with my abusive brother, I had no friends, the village was so awful I kept myself housebound mainly in my room, I was suffering with a lot of mental health stuff and genuinely just wanted to die. But every day Tinkabell would come to my room and I'd give her a big hug and fuss and she would brighten my day up even in the worst times. She'd sit at my desk most of the time, or my bed if I was there. I've never known a pet so loving, I could just see it in her eyes. She was always there when I cried. She made me feel so special, like even if she was scared (usually by either thunder or my brother's adult tantrums), she'd come to me rather than hiding. If I wasn't there, she'd hide until I was there. I always wanted her to feel safe and I think she felt that.

There were times I was ready to end myself, but knowing that'd mean she'd be left without me kept me going. Living conditions got better for both of us after 2013 (we moved away from my brother to a better place). But we still kept our bond.

It was so sudden when she passed. She was doing fine, although maybe more sleepy and introverted, until one evening when she didn't come out to eat (which was very unusual for her, she loved her food more than anything lol). She was extra sleepy and was throwing up the day before. So my mum took her the vet, and they scanned her and found cancer. The next day she was very sluggish and unresponsive. We knew she was ready to go. I held her on my knee, and we all said our goodbyes as she passed very peacefully.

It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. And I don't know how to live without her. I have a lot of health issues that alone make me suicidal at times. But this has felt like the final straw. I've never felt so defeated before. I have no fight in me at all anymore, I just want to be gone and join her wherever she is now.
 
MisterBGone

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
#2
#2
Scytaic said:
My 17yo cat, Tinkabell passed away on Friday. I've had her her whole life and she has always meant the world to me. Back before 2013, I was at a very low place, I was living with my abusive brother, I had no friends, the village was so awful I kept myself housebound mainly in my room, I was suffering with a lot of mental health stuff and genuinely just wanted to die. But every day Tinkabell would come to my room and I'd give her a big hug and fuss and she would brighten my day up even in the worst times. She'd sit at my desk most of the time, or my bed if I was there. I've never known a pet so loving, I could just see it in her eyes. She was always there when I cried. She made me feel so special, like even if she was scared (usually by either thunder or my brother's adult tantrums), she'd come to me rather than hiding. If I wasn't there, she'd hide until I was there. I always wanted her to feel safe and I think she felt that.

There were times I was ready to end myself, but knowing that'd mean she'd be left without me kept me going. Living conditions got better for both of us after 2013 (we moved away from my brother to a better place). But we still kept our bond.

It was so sudden when she passed. She was doing fine, although maybe more sleepy and introverted, until one evening when she didn't come out to eat (which was very unusual for her, she loved her food more than anything lol). She was extra sleepy and was throwing up the day before. So my mum took her the vet, and they scanned her and found cancer. The next day she was very sluggish and unresponsive. We knew she was ready to go. I held her on my knee, and we all said our goodbyes as she passed very peacefully.

It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. And I don't know how to live without her. I have a lot of health issues that alone make me suicidal at times. But this has felt like the final straw. I've never felt so defeated before. I have no fight in me at all anymore, I just want to be gone and join her wherever she is now.
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Oh, I'm so sorry ... I wish you didn't have to go through this--or struggle this--with such grief & overwhelming pain. I'm glad she got to have you as her owner. And you, her (or she). It sounds like you were a match made in heaven, and a pair that were made for each other. I don't know how to tell you to get over her, or to go on & carry on but - over time, it may subside some. It really just depends. If one day, the time comes that you are feeling ready & up to it (which I know is not now. . . ) You may be able to consider getting another. Not to replace her of course, for she is irreplaceable, and there can never be another. But one day you might (not saying will) be ready and open to loving another. And what that would at least do, at minimum, is give you something of a similar thing, in terms of... helping you through your day & giving you some of that pure & unadulterated joy, as well as affectionate and unconditional love. And in the absence of something like that sounding a good enough reason, you could still find & derive some benefit in finding yet another reason to keep on going, and to keep on living. For the love of another pet. But I know you don't want to hear that right now, or think along those lines. So I will only wish you the ease of this suffering, just as soon as is humanely possible. And take some comfort in the fact that, it sure sounds like you poured everything you'd had of yourself, and your soul, into her. And she, you. So that is a very beautiful thing, and one day, at some point, you may be in a better position to realize this, and to feel in a more celebratory mood, or fashion/fashion, or mood. Spirit, I guess? I s waht I'm trying to say, sorry been distracted by bilions of things at present & presently. So take care of yourself, give yourself some credit. For being so good to her. I'm sure she loved every last minute with you. See you later~
 
Scytaic

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#3
#3
MisterBGone said:
Oh, I'm so sorry ... I wish you didn't have to go through this--or struggle this--with such grief & overwhelming pain. I'm glad she got to have you as her owner. And you, her (or she). It sounds like you were a match made in heaven, and a pair that were made for each other. I don't know how to tell you to get over her, or to go on & carry on but - over time, it may subside some. It really just depends. If one day, the time comes that you are feeling ready & up to it (which I know is not now. . . ) You may be able to consider getting another. Not to replace her of course, for she is irreplaceable, and there can never be another. But one day you might (not saying will) be ready and open to loving another. And what that would at least do, at minimum, is give you something of a similar thing, in terms of... helping you through your day & giving you some of that pure & unadulterated joy, as well as affectionate and unconditional love. And in the absence of something like that sounding a good enough reason, you could still find & derive some benefit in finding yet another reason to keep on going, and to keep on living. For the love of another pet. But I know you don't want to hear that right now, or think along those lines. So I will only wish you the ease of this suffering, just as soon as is humanely possible. And take some comfort in the fact that, it sure sounds like you poured everything you'd had of yourself, and your soul, into her. And she, you. So that is a very beautiful thing, and one day, at some point, you may be in a better position to realize this, and to feel in a more celebratory mood, or fashion/fashion, or mood. Spirit, I guess? I s waht I'm trying to say, sorry been distracted by bilions of things at present & presently. So take care of yourself, give yourself some credit. For being so good to her. I'm sure she loved every last minute with you. See you later~
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Thank you so much, this was so lovely to read and it means a lot ❤️
 
1Lefty

1Lefty

SF Supporter
#4
#4
Scytaic said:
My 17yo cat, Tinkabell passed away on Friday. I've had her her whole life and she has always meant the world to me. Back before 2013, I was at a very low place, I was living with my abusive brother, I had no friends, the village was so awful I kept myself housebound mainly in my room, I was suffering with a lot of mental health stuff and genuinely just wanted to die. But every day Tinkabell would come to my room and I'd give her a big hug and fuss and she would brighten my day up even in the worst times. She'd sit at my desk most of the time, or my bed if I was there. I've never known a pet so loving, I could just see it in her eyes. She was always there when I cried. She made me feel so special, like even if she was scared (usually by either thunder or my brother's adult tantrums), she'd come to me rather than hiding. If I wasn't there, she'd hide until I was there. I always wanted her to feel safe and I think she felt that.

There were times I was ready to end myself, but knowing that'd mean she'd be left without me kept me going. Living conditions got better for both of us after 2013 (we moved away from my brother to a better place). But we still kept our bond.

It was so sudden when she passed. She was doing fine, although maybe more sleepy and introverted, until one evening when she didn't come out to eat (which was very unusual for her, she loved her food more than anything lol). She was extra sleepy and was throwing up the day before. So my mum took her the vet, and they scanned her and found cancer. The next day she was very sluggish and unresponsive. We knew she was ready to go. I held her on my knee, and we all said our goodbyes as she passed very peacefully.

It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. And I don't know how to live without her. I have a lot of health issues that alone make me suicidal at times. But this has felt like the final straw. I've never felt so defeated before. I have no fight in me at all anymore, I just want to be gone and join her wherever she is now.
Click to expand...
I am so sorry
I know it was a great loss
She sounds like a wonderful companion

peace
 
Lekatt

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#9
#9
My family has been rescuing cats for 50 years, and have lost many loved ones. It is never easy to lose a pet. They show their love for you everyday and you come to love them as you would a person. I feel sorry for your lose and understand your pain.

Cats like people are spirits in a physical body, and go to Heaven as we do. There is a poem that says it all that I like. You can read it here.
 
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