My dad

[SuperBo]

I havent been on here in a long time.. but for the first time in a year or so I've actully been in pain having bad thoughts.. it sucks my dad passed on the 11th and I always said I hated him and now when he's gone i miss him..

 

[nonethelessjaclyn]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Although i can't relate, i know what it's like to say that you hate someone and have them leave your life. I've always told my sister that i hated her, but now that she's moved out and i never see her anymore, i miss her.

i guess the saying is true.
you never know what you've got until it's gone.

 

[Mikeintx]

Sorry you are having a rough time Bo :hug:

 

[SuperBo]

Thanks mike :hug: you should come into chat miss you man!

 

[SuperBo]

its newyears and i miss him more then anything i never thought it could get worse then when he actully died but in more time it settles in.. I don't have a father anymore.

 

[wheresmysheep]

Hey bo, long time hun.
I am very sorry for your loss and what you are going through.
I can understand hating parents. I hate mine, tho ive never lost one of them, when im feeling lowest i miss my mum, but not for her, but what a mother should be. Caring, there for you, supportive and protective.
But my mum will never be that.
So, do you miss your dad, considering you hated him, or do you miss what a father should be for you?
Here if you need anything bo

 

[total eclipse]

:console: sorry your missing your dad i hope you have some good support around you and some councilling maybe to help you deal with your emotions take care of you now okay hugs

 

[~Young-Violet~]

Hello
Sorry to hear about your dad, it look like this really had effected you in many ways :hug: Why not try cruse bereavement care http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ They will be able to help you a bit and give you support or maybe check out this link, dealing with death. http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/dealingwithdeath

This may help you learn some coping strategies to support yourself

Dealing with deathLosing someone close, whether they be a relative, friend or lover is hard. Your emotions run haywire while you try to grasp what has happened and the loss you feel seems endless. We can't bring them back but we can try and help you understand your feelings.
What is grief?
After someone close to you dies, you go through a process of mourning. Grief is the visible sign of that mourning and encompasses a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms that you experience after a loss. It is vital to let your feelings out as by bottling them up will only lead to emotional problems in the future.
Grieving for a loved one takes time. We all go through the process in different ways, and often experience conflicting or even overwhelming feelings, but slowly life will become more bearable.
The important thing is to get support from people you trust. Your family and friends all understand what you're dealing with, and will want to help. Exactly how is down to you. Whether you want to talk about your feelings, reflect on your loss, or simply get out to take your mind off things, just do whatever feels right and makes you feel better. And remember to keep in touch with your doctor. If you are having sleeping problems, your doctor may prescribe sleeping tablets or may refer you to a counsellor if you feel the need for more help to cope with a loss.
How long will it take?
The grieving process takes time and should not be hurried. How long it will take depends on you and your situation. In general, though, it takes most people one to two years to fully recover from a major bereavement. It's common to feel especially vulnerable at times such as their birthday, the anniversary of their death, and during the Christmas holidays.
After a suicide
If someone close to you has taken their own life, it can be especially difficult for those left behind. Don't be surprised if you feel completely shocked and numb, or even furiously angry at them, or want to tell them they're stupid or selfish. It's OK to feel this way for a while, and other people who knew them may be going through the same thing too. Many friends and relatives feel guilty, or haunted by the thought that they 'could have done something to prevent it', and again these feelings are normal, and part of the grieving process.
Helping a friend who has lost someone
Don't be scared to talk to them about how they feel, and to say that you are sorry for their loss. Let them know you're there for them if they want to sound off angrily, cry on your shoulder, or get out to do something to distract themselves for a while. Try not to avoid them unless they ask for some space, this may make them feel worse than they do already, and it's a time when they need to know who their friends are.

Do you have friends or family who you can talk to about this?

 

[SuperBo]

thank you all for this its very helpful to know I'm not alone... My family well its not the best and it hasnt been but my friends are my rope that keeps me here they are beyond any support i could ever get.. but i keep running away from the pain i dont really talk about it and i really try not to think about it and escape in other ways. but it's geting better and I'm seeking help somewhat

 

[total eclipse]

but i keep running away from the pain

STop running okay get in and get some therapy to help deal with the pain
grief therapy for one It helps to have professional guidance as they do take your through a process that help you heal okay please reach out and get that help hugs