I never got the chance to tell him I loved him any time recently before he died. That's the part that really kills me. I loved him so much, and I wished at some points that I could have been there, with him, instead of with my c*nt mother, who probably doesn't even give a shit all that much. Please, no one tell me that they're sorry or offer condolences. I reckon I'll be getting a lot more of those to anyone I tell that to for the rest of my life and become sick of hearing them. I can't even attend the funeral because he's an ocean apart from me. But someday I'll still visit his grave. I just hoped that when I did finally become financially stable enough to visit, he'd still be alive. I thought I had more time. I have no family left to whom I truly matter.