I know this is a lot to read, but please help me. It's all important. Please.
He threatened it again yesterday. He and my mother got into a argument. He started hitting himself hard on the face, and trying to move towards the bathroom. I told him I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and screamed at him to stop. I told him it would break me if he killed himself. He eventually stopped after I kept begging.
We talked for a while, and he said he wouldn't do it, but I don't know if he's just saying that because he's told me the same thing to me before, but he still threatens to do it. He told me a few hours later that he was "only" going to hurt himself badly to "teach my mother a lesson" and that it was wrong. I don't know if that's true, or him just attempting to "comfort" me by saying he wasn't actually going that far. He feels bad about it, and has hugged me twice since then.
He is the only one working so if he does kill himself, we will be without a income and transportation. I have to go to doctors appointments regularly which would be difficult to get to. We would have to move in with family.
How do my mother and I get independent from him so that if he does die we won't be a burden on other family? My mother and I don't have jobs. We both want jobs and would get them if we could, but we only have one working car. The other one has been unusable for over 5 years now. He has worked on it during this time, but he's extremely slow in getting to it and fixing each problem, and now he doesn't know what's wrong with it so it needs to go to a shop to figure it out, and we need money to do it. He has a boat worth over 3000 dollars he could sell to fix this car, but it's set there over two years despite my mother suggesting repetitively that he sell it. This among many other things has caused her and I a lot of anger, especially because he bought the boat behind her back after telling her he wouldn't when we needed the extra money for important things.
My brother said that if I move in with him he would teach me how to drive. I've thought about this, but I am afraid to leave because my father said I'm the only thing that makes him happy, and I would be leaving him alone with my mother, so I'm scared he would kill himself if I did leave and I have good reason to believe that. She starts arguing with him anytime I'm not with them, and doesn't try and stop him when he does stuff like hit himself. She has admitted to me she doesn't care if he does kill himself, and she said she's not going to stop or change even if it does lead to him doing it. She hates him and doesn't care.
My mother thinks the suicide threat is a control tactic and that he won't actually do it since he's threatened it for years and hasn't done it. I've tried explaining to her repetitively that statistically people who do commit suicide usually give signs like this before hand for years, and he has many medical problems, has low self esteem, and other warning flags, but she doesn't listen to me. When I tell her she needs to be careful what she says around him, she says she feels it's wrong to put her "on mute" because that is "not a way to live," She has gotten better about arguing with him the last few years, but she still does it every once in a while and sometimes he reacts badly like yesterday.
I know she sounds evil, but I can't blame her fully because I've seen the downright evil way he's treated her throughout the years, and she often has a valid reason to be mad at him which he blows out of proportion reacting this way. She's otherwise a nice person, he's just twisted her to become this way towards him.
She has deep rooted anger at him because of many issues and needs therapy herself, but we can't afford it for her. He and I can get it for free through the IHCRS because we qualify, and I'm going to get some, but he refuses to get himself any, and she doesn't qualify except for couples therapy, which she refuses to do because she wants to get therapy alone.
Should I move in with my brother? Should I call a suicide hotline for advice? I'm scarred they would have him committed to a hospital and we can't afford that. What should I do?
He threatened it again yesterday. He and my mother got into a argument. He started hitting himself hard on the face, and trying to move towards the bathroom. I told him I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and screamed at him to stop. I told him it would break me if he killed himself. He eventually stopped after I kept begging.
We talked for a while, and he said he wouldn't do it, but I don't know if he's just saying that because he's told me the same thing to me before, but he still threatens to do it. He told me a few hours later that he was "only" going to hurt himself badly to "teach my mother a lesson" and that it was wrong. I don't know if that's true, or him just attempting to "comfort" me by saying he wasn't actually going that far. He feels bad about it, and has hugged me twice since then.
He is the only one working so if he does kill himself, we will be without a income and transportation. I have to go to doctors appointments regularly which would be difficult to get to. We would have to move in with family.
How do my mother and I get independent from him so that if he does die we won't be a burden on other family? My mother and I don't have jobs. We both want jobs and would get them if we could, but we only have one working car. The other one has been unusable for over 5 years now. He has worked on it during this time, but he's extremely slow in getting to it and fixing each problem, and now he doesn't know what's wrong with it so it needs to go to a shop to figure it out, and we need money to do it. He has a boat worth over 3000 dollars he could sell to fix this car, but it's set there over two years despite my mother suggesting repetitively that he sell it. This among many other things has caused her and I a lot of anger, especially because he bought the boat behind her back after telling her he wouldn't when we needed the extra money for important things.
My brother said that if I move in with him he would teach me how to drive. I've thought about this, but I am afraid to leave because my father said I'm the only thing that makes him happy, and I would be leaving him alone with my mother, so I'm scared he would kill himself if I did leave and I have good reason to believe that. She starts arguing with him anytime I'm not with them, and doesn't try and stop him when he does stuff like hit himself. She has admitted to me she doesn't care if he does kill himself, and she said she's not going to stop or change even if it does lead to him doing it. She hates him and doesn't care.
My mother thinks the suicide threat is a control tactic and that he won't actually do it since he's threatened it for years and hasn't done it. I've tried explaining to her repetitively that statistically people who do commit suicide usually give signs like this before hand for years, and he has many medical problems, has low self esteem, and other warning flags, but she doesn't listen to me. When I tell her she needs to be careful what she says around him, she says she feels it's wrong to put her "on mute" because that is "not a way to live," She has gotten better about arguing with him the last few years, but she still does it every once in a while and sometimes he reacts badly like yesterday.
I know she sounds evil, but I can't blame her fully because I've seen the downright evil way he's treated her throughout the years, and she often has a valid reason to be mad at him which he blows out of proportion reacting this way. She's otherwise a nice person, he's just twisted her to become this way towards him.
She has deep rooted anger at him because of many issues and needs therapy herself, but we can't afford it for her. He and I can get it for free through the IHCRS because we qualify, and I'm going to get some, but he refuses to get himself any, and she doesn't qualify except for couples therapy, which she refuses to do because she wants to get therapy alone.
Should I move in with my brother? Should I call a suicide hotline for advice? I'm scarred they would have him committed to a hospital and we can't afford that. What should I do?
