Thanks for the replies sadhart and WildCherry. Today's been very rough again. I've just been trying to focus on the little things to use up my time till I get to be asleep again. Doing dishes, laundry, etc.
I've been going off the rails for 2 months but the past week has been particularly bad to the point where I wasn't sure I'd make it through. Did I have a breakdown? Maybe.. I don't even know.
I ended up on the Samaritans doorstep and cried my eyes out for an hour and a half. It helped to have someone there in the same room as me, just listening.
At least now I'm thinking about going back to my GP and also contacting Rape Crisis again. It's been years since I was there and at the time it was too raw. I'm so scared of having doors shut in my face again. I'm pretty much scared of everything right now, myself included.