Hi all,
This is my first post. In July 2019 I lost my dear wife to pancreatic cancer. We were married 50yrs. We have two children now well into their 40's. I do get weekly visits. And I have a few local neighbours I can chat to from time to time. But the house I live in is no longer a home; its just a residence - a dead zone. My darling made it a home. But the home faded away upon her passing. Im 74 and quite simply don't want to live anymore. The only time life is tolerable when on my own in the dead zone is to drink strong beer. Sometimes binging. Sometimes just cruising. I have a plan as to how I can end my miserable existance - but do I have the courage? <mod edit - method> That way it looks like death from misadventure thus saving our kids the trauma of knowing their dad committed suicide. Its now October. The real freeze up starts in January so I have a few months to get my mind around it. But will I have the courage?
This is my first post. In July 2019 I lost my dear wife to pancreatic cancer. We were married 50yrs. We have two children now well into their 40's. I do get weekly visits. And I have a few local neighbours I can chat to from time to time. But the house I live in is no longer a home; its just a residence - a dead zone. My darling made it a home. But the home faded away upon her passing. Im 74 and quite simply don't want to live anymore. The only time life is tolerable when on my own in the dead zone is to drink strong beer. Sometimes binging. Sometimes just cruising. I have a plan as to how I can end my miserable existance - but do I have the courage? <mod edit - method> That way it looks like death from misadventure thus saving our kids the trauma of knowing their dad committed suicide. Its now October. The real freeze up starts in January so I have a few months to get my mind around it. But will I have the courage?
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