My Mother

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Mozart, Jan 21, 2013.

  1. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    My mother tried to kill herself many times over a span of 15 years,in between she was hospitalized several times. Basically my whole teen years and twenties
    were dominated by her struggle against her demons,which she finally lost.
    She had a loving husband and a devoted family ,excellent support from doctors and specialists,but nothing could save her.
    There were many ,many times where my father and me had to try to stop her,particularly at night to harm herself. When it got too bad she had to be
    hospitalized again ,the longest stay was 8 months. I remember one morning when I found her after another attempt in the bedroom ( I was 13 ) and called the ambulance and my Dad,he went to hospital and I had to stay at home. I had a friend coming around shortly after this had happened for playing and having fun and I was far too shy to mention anything to him ,so we played and I behaved like nothing had happened.
    That was the case a few times,it was too painful to talk to anybody about it.
    It has ripped something out of my heart forever. She was an extremely kind and modest person, selfless and shy,couldn't harm a fly. My father was utterly helpless,they were both very warm and kind people. I never heard a bad word from my father,and my mother was there 24/7 for us,despite her troubles.
    How can one come to terms with something like that ? I am not very good at it.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    My mother was the same, but without the warm and kind bit :hiding:
    I once had to climb out onto a ledge and say "if you jump, so do I" it was the only way I could get her back in.
    It's a horrible way to grow up, and I never mentioned it to friends.
    If I'm brutally honest, I was too ashamed to tell anyone :hiding:
    Not sure you ever come to terms with it :unsure: guess you just learn to live with the fact that your parents are just people, with all the normal shit that goes with that.
     
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I cant really imagine how it is.. I'm sorry things happened that way :(
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry :( I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have been like. Here shall you need anything!
     
  5. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you all so much for your kind words. The incidents described are quite a while ago now ( several years in fact ) ,but when one's own life takes a truly bad turn then these things creep up again. But I'll keep my head above water now,promised ! :)
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yes, do not leave the past haunt you..but in saying that I can definitely see how it would :( I'm glad you have said you will keep your head above the water~ positive thinking Mozart.. plus thanks so much for your reply in my thread, really means a lot. I can tell you're a very wise person. Much love and caring, sending warm well wishes, Lynn.
     
  7. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much,Lynn. I have to disagree with you though in one point: I am not a very wise person. Far from it. I buggered up my life pretty substantially in the last 3 years ( with admittedly some substantially bad luck involved ) and ultimately deserve what I have brought on to myself. I feel very much for your situation as I have come across a few instances where it seems more and more to me that this kind of violence against women is a quite frequent event. And in some cases I have been told what utter destruction and havoc this can cause in a victim's life. That's what worried me very much when I read your first posting.
    Please take care, Mozart.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Don't bring yourself down. I don't know what you have done in the last 3 years-but we ALL make mistakes, big ones, small ones, we all do it :hug: And thank you :)