My mother tried to kill herself many times over a span of 15 years,in between she was hospitalized several times. Basically my whole teen years and twenties
were dominated by her struggle against her demons,which she finally lost.
She had a loving husband and a devoted family ,excellent support from doctors and specialists,but nothing could save her.
There were many ,many times where my father and me had to try to stop her,particularly at night to harm herself. When it got too bad she had to be
hospitalized again ,the longest stay was 8 months. I remember one morning when I found her after another attempt in the bedroom ( I was 13 ) and called the ambulance and my Dad,he went to hospital and I had to stay at home. I had a friend coming around shortly after this had happened for playing and having fun and I was far too shy to mention anything to him ,so we played and I behaved like nothing had happened.
That was the case a few times,it was too painful to talk to anybody about it.
It has ripped something out of my heart forever. She was an extremely kind and modest person, selfless and shy,couldn't harm a fly. My father was utterly helpless,they were both very warm and kind people. I never heard a bad word from my father,and my mother was there 24/7 for us,despite her troubles.
How can one come to terms with something like that ? I am not very good at it.
were dominated by her struggle against her demons,which she finally lost.
She had a loving husband and a devoted family ,excellent support from doctors and specialists,but nothing could save her.
There were many ,many times where my father and me had to try to stop her,particularly at night to harm herself. When it got too bad she had to be
hospitalized again ,the longest stay was 8 months. I remember one morning when I found her after another attempt in the bedroom ( I was 13 ) and called the ambulance and my Dad,he went to hospital and I had to stay at home. I had a friend coming around shortly after this had happened for playing and having fun and I was far too shy to mention anything to him ,so we played and I behaved like nothing had happened.
That was the case a few times,it was too painful to talk to anybody about it.
It has ripped something out of my heart forever. She was an extremely kind and modest person, selfless and shy,couldn't harm a fly. My father was utterly helpless,they were both very warm and kind people. I never heard a bad word from my father,and my mother was there 24/7 for us,despite her troubles.
How can one come to terms with something like that ? I am not very good at it.
