I was convinced that he was cheating on me after I saw a bunch of texts with him and other women, especially one in particular, making sexual remarks and talking about meeting up to fuck. From what it seems like, he didn't actually do it, but only because this bitch was clearly a scam artist, asking for money and gift cards. But I strongly feel as though, if that wasn't the case, he probably would have ended up fucking her, because from what I read, he seemed pretty intent on doing so. But even though I don't think he did it, it's obvious that he wanted to. And just that, alone, hurts like a bitch. I've been crying for the past several hours, thinking about everything. Seeing him asking these dumb c*nts for pictures, calling them sexy, and telling them what he'd like to "do" to them...it's all circling around in my head and I can't get it the fuck out. And now, it's making me feel like I'm not good enough and I'm not pretty enough.
One thing I always thought he was, despite all his other shitty character traits, was loyal to a fault. Looks like I was severely mistaken on that one. Fuck, man. It just fucking hurts. So, so badly. At first, I was ready to call it quits. I told him it was over and that I wanted a divorce. But we talked about it, and based on what I saw in the conversations, as well as his explanation of what happened, I believed him that he didn't actually cheat on me--at least, not in the worst possible way. And that's the only reason I decided to give him one more chance. Our marriage is broken for the most part. There's no passion, no intimacy...not like there used to be, anyway. Nevertheless, I don't think that it's necessarily broken beyond repair. He did apologize profusely and promised to never do anything like that again, no matter what. So we both agreed to try harder to fix our problems instead of just sweeping them under the rug. We need to communicate more and tell each other what it is that we need from one another, and work together to assess what could be done to make the relationship better and each other happier. I don't know if that's actually what's going to happen or if things will just continue as they have been, but I swear to fucking god, if he does this shit again, there will be no more talking. If he hurts me like this again, I'm ending it for good next time.
One thing I always thought he was, despite all his other shitty character traits, was loyal to a fault. Looks like I was severely mistaken on that one. Fuck, man. It just fucking hurts. So, so badly. At first, I was ready to call it quits. I told him it was over and that I wanted a divorce. But we talked about it, and based on what I saw in the conversations, as well as his explanation of what happened, I believed him that he didn't actually cheat on me--at least, not in the worst possible way. And that's the only reason I decided to give him one more chance. Our marriage is broken for the most part. There's no passion, no intimacy...not like there used to be, anyway. Nevertheless, I don't think that it's necessarily broken beyond repair. He did apologize profusely and promised to never do anything like that again, no matter what. So we both agreed to try harder to fix our problems instead of just sweeping them under the rug. We need to communicate more and tell each other what it is that we need from one another, and work together to assess what could be done to make the relationship better and each other happier. I don't know if that's actually what's going to happen or if things will just continue as they have been, but I swear to fucking god, if he does this shit again, there will be no more talking. If he hurts me like this again, I'm ending it for good next time.
T
. You don't deserve to be going through this, and the problem is with him not with you. Make sure you do what will make you happy - you don't owe him anything if he is being terrible to you. Sending hugs 
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