Hey guys,
I grew up in a broken home. Basically, we (mum and I) moved all around Australia throughout my formative years to "get away" from my stepdad because of the domestic disputes and so on. He would smash things in the house during his temper tantrums - something I have done while struggling to cope with anger issues myself. He can be downright arrogant, as I can be when I'm in a certain state of mind. And he's generally inconsiderate of others thoughts and feelings - also something I'm capable of; although, he's only my stepdad, and have never got along, he's still been an influential father figure in my life, despite the distancing, and complete rejection (and my utter rejection of his views, and ideals as well). I'm afraid that I've become someone I've despised all my life. Yes, he's violent on occasion, and yes I've been violent towards others, as well as myself. I suppose I'm just concerned that while I'm generally considered a positive person with some great attributes and a good natured personality, that my coping mechanisms concerning anger management, and the frustration which comes from that, etc, I'm basically just like he is. It's quite troubling. On a side note, I'm not sure whether this means my parents have "won" me over to their way of thinking, or whether I've just been forced to become violent myself in order to deal with their abusive/controlling behaviours toward me. As I mentioned, this isn't my natural state, it's just my reaction to a perceived/real situation where I feel threatened personally.
I grew up in a broken home. Basically, we (mum and I) moved all around Australia throughout my formative years to "get away" from my stepdad because of the domestic disputes and so on. He would smash things in the house during his temper tantrums - something I have done while struggling to cope with anger issues myself. He can be downright arrogant, as I can be when I'm in a certain state of mind. And he's generally inconsiderate of others thoughts and feelings - also something I'm capable of; although, he's only my stepdad, and have never got along, he's still been an influential father figure in my life, despite the distancing, and complete rejection (and my utter rejection of his views, and ideals as well). I'm afraid that I've become someone I've despised all my life. Yes, he's violent on occasion, and yes I've been violent towards others, as well as myself. I suppose I'm just concerned that while I'm generally considered a positive person with some great attributes and a good natured personality, that my coping mechanisms concerning anger management, and the frustration which comes from that, etc, I'm basically just like he is. It's quite troubling. On a side note, I'm not sure whether this means my parents have "won" me over to their way of thinking, or whether I've just been forced to become violent myself in order to deal with their abusive/controlling behaviours toward me. As I mentioned, this isn't my natural state, it's just my reaction to a perceived/real situation where I feel threatened personally.