I'm a transfer student at a major public university. I know no one. I live in an apartment. My roommates aren't very sociable. I went to the "welcome" event for transfer students. I didn't feel very welcomed by the other students. I asked for 2 people's numbers and got them, but they haven't texted me back. They found me interesting for about 5 minutes and then ignored me.
I'm joining a club. I went to their "welcome" event, but, again, didn't feel very welcomed. One of the leaders of the group offered to help me learn how to lead an activity later on this semester, I will give them that. I tried to talk to more people, but nothing really stuck.
Today, I went to class. I only have one class today. I asked someone how to get on the WiFi, and she tried to help, but I when I tried to talk about other things, to expand the scope of the interaction, she didn't really respond. Then, after class, I went to lunch. Everyone seemed to know each other already. People were all chatting away, like they'd been best friends since birth. I saw someone from the transfer "welcome" event, but he was sitting with people he already knew from the college he transferred from and basically ignored me. I tried to be my usual funny self, but it was hard. He didn't introduce me to anyone he was talking to.
Then, I went out to the courtyard. It's a no-smoking campus, so it's not like I could bum a cig and start a conversation. Some people were hanging out in groups, tight, close groups, not conducive to joining spontaneously. Many were alone, but they were all on laptops or wearing headphones, universal signs for "stay away, I'm busy."
There was someone canvassing for Bernie on campus. "Easy target," I thought. So I went up to him and he talked to me about Medicare for All. I tried to change the subject to something more personal, but he just ignored that and telling me to check out their website or something. At least I actually talked to someone, even if all they wanted was my information for a survey.
I was thinking to myself "this generation is so isolated," but the truth is, it's me that's isolated. It's not like I didn't seem open. Despite my negative thoughts, I managed to keep a neutral expression. I didn't have my headphones in. I wasn't looking at my phone. I would've gone up to someone and introduced myself if anyone had seemed open to that. There have to be more people on this damn campus who feel the way I do, but if you just go up to someone and start a conversation, people label you as "creepy" and "annoying." I'm already a friendless loser, I don't want to be a creepy, annoying friendless loser.
I feel so invisible. I wish there were a community on here of people who go to my college so I could find some more loners and we could all get together. I'm so alone. I've done everything people say will get you friends. I'm joining a club. I'm keeping an open posture when I walk around. I'm doing everything right, but still people just don't connect with me. It sucks. It's not fair.
I want to kill myself as a cautionary tale to my generation as to what happens when you leave someone out, over and over again. Maybe next time they'll think before they brush someone off. Then the loner could have the chance to prove that they're worthy of befriending. At least they'd have their foot in the door. At least maybe someone would give them a chance. Maybe my university would start some sort of program to help people like me, so no one would ever have to go through this again. Maybe it would be for the greater good.
Also, no one ever wishes to talk to me. No one ever has a burning desire to contact me. Maybe after I'm gone everyone will wish they'd had a chance to get to know me, to see what I was about.
I'm joining a club. I went to their "welcome" event, but, again, didn't feel very welcomed. One of the leaders of the group offered to help me learn how to lead an activity later on this semester, I will give them that. I tried to talk to more people, but nothing really stuck.
Today, I went to class. I only have one class today. I asked someone how to get on the WiFi, and she tried to help, but I when I tried to talk about other things, to expand the scope of the interaction, she didn't really respond. Then, after class, I went to lunch. Everyone seemed to know each other already. People were all chatting away, like they'd been best friends since birth. I saw someone from the transfer "welcome" event, but he was sitting with people he already knew from the college he transferred from and basically ignored me. I tried to be my usual funny self, but it was hard. He didn't introduce me to anyone he was talking to.
Then, I went out to the courtyard. It's a no-smoking campus, so it's not like I could bum a cig and start a conversation. Some people were hanging out in groups, tight, close groups, not conducive to joining spontaneously. Many were alone, but they were all on laptops or wearing headphones, universal signs for "stay away, I'm busy."
There was someone canvassing for Bernie on campus. "Easy target," I thought. So I went up to him and he talked to me about Medicare for All. I tried to change the subject to something more personal, but he just ignored that and telling me to check out their website or something. At least I actually talked to someone, even if all they wanted was my information for a survey.
I was thinking to myself "this generation is so isolated," but the truth is, it's me that's isolated. It's not like I didn't seem open. Despite my negative thoughts, I managed to keep a neutral expression. I didn't have my headphones in. I wasn't looking at my phone. I would've gone up to someone and introduced myself if anyone had seemed open to that. There have to be more people on this damn campus who feel the way I do, but if you just go up to someone and start a conversation, people label you as "creepy" and "annoying." I'm already a friendless loser, I don't want to be a creepy, annoying friendless loser.
I feel so invisible. I wish there were a community on here of people who go to my college so I could find some more loners and we could all get together. I'm so alone. I've done everything people say will get you friends. I'm joining a club. I'm keeping an open posture when I walk around. I'm doing everything right, but still people just don't connect with me. It sucks. It's not fair.
I want to kill myself as a cautionary tale to my generation as to what happens when you leave someone out, over and over again. Maybe next time they'll think before they brush someone off. Then the loner could have the chance to prove that they're worthy of befriending. At least they'd have their foot in the door. At least maybe someone would give them a chance. Maybe my university would start some sort of program to help people like me, so no one would ever have to go through this again. Maybe it would be for the greater good.
Also, no one ever wishes to talk to me. No one ever has a burning desire to contact me. Maybe after I'm gone everyone will wish they'd had a chance to get to know me, to see what I was about.