No point

[Rhidia]

I made what might have become a serious mistake. I made contact with a guy in the USA who seemed alright initially, then became very questionable. I broke contact, then resumed, more than once. Why? What he offered was images of a kind that shouldn't have appealed to me, but did. I knew it needed to stop, but I couldn't MAKE myself stop. It was leaning more and more heavily on my mental health...


Then I just decided it HAD to stop, no matter what. So I set the account I was in contact with him through to be wholly deleted. That should have solved the problem.

But I have been suffering with bad anxiety since, although it seems to be calming down after nearly a week. Only to find myself, today, crying, nearly screaming, so upset I feel awful and severely affected. My Depression came pushing back in and I started thinking if I really want it all to stop...

I spoke to someone I trust and he was able to help. I feel a bit better now. But the person I spoke to? He suspects the man I was in contact with was actually a con artist trying to gain my trust and scam me. I think he may well be right.

So I feel very down, stupid and sick of it all, again. I tried to be careful, but got it wrong. Could really use some support and advice, please?

 

[may71]

I'm sorry this happened.

He suspects the man I was in contact with was actually a con artist trying to gain my trust and scam me. I think he may well be right.

He could be a scam artist, but maybe he isn't. Either way, this guy was not someone you wanted to be in contact with, so I think you made the right decision to break things off with him.

I tried to be careful, but got it wrong

You had a bad experience, but I think you overall handled this quite well. There are people who end up getting married and having kids with nightmare partners, people who get horribly abused and have vast sums of money stolen from them. You made the right decision in time, and so you probably got to dodge a lot of heartache that way.

 

[Lane]

I made what might have become a serious mistake. I made contact with a guy in the USA who seemed alright initially, then became very questionable. I broke contact, then resumed, more than once. Why? What he offered was images of a kind that shouldn't have appealed to me, but did. I knew it needed to stop, but I couldn't MAKE myself stop. It was leaning more and more heavily on my mental health...


Then I just decided it HAD to stop, no matter what. So I set the account I was in contact with him through to be wholly deleted. That should have solved the problem.

But I have been suffering with bad anxiety since, although it seems to be calming down after nearly a week. Only to find myself, today, crying, nearly screaming, so upset I feel awful and severely affected. My Depression came pushing back in and I started thinking if I really want it all to stop...

I spoke to someone I trust and he was able to help. I feel a bit better now. But the person I spoke to? He suspects the man I was in contact with was actually a con artist trying to gain my trust and scam me. I think he may well be right.

So I feel very down, stupid and sick of it all, again. I tried to be careful, but got it wrong. Could really use some support and advice, please?

I think there are a lot of people trying to scam innocent folks on line. Sorry you were subject to that. You are not stupid at all, it happens to the best of us. I recently got scammed by a fake ez pass ploy, and gave my bank information and everything . I hope you can stay safe and surrounded by real people that care about you.

 

[cymbele]

I made what might have become a serious mistake. I made contact with a guy in the USA who seemed alright initially, then became very questionable. I broke contact, then resumed, more than once. Why? What he offered was images of a kind that shouldn't have appealed to me, but did. I knew it needed to stop, but I couldn't MAKE myself stop. It was leaning more and more heavily on my mental health...


Then I just decided it HAD to stop, no matter what. So I set the account I was in contact with him through to be wholly deleted. That should have solved the problem.

But I have been suffering with bad anxiety since, although it seems to be calming down after nearly a week. Only to find myself, today, crying, nearly screaming, so upset I feel awful and severely affected. My Depression came pushing back in and I started thinking if I really want it all to stop...

I spoke to someone I trust and he was able to help. I feel a bit better now. But the person I spoke to? He suspects the man I was in contact with was actually a con artist trying to gain my trust and scam me. I think he may well be right.

So I feel very down, stupid and sick of it all, again. I tried to be careful, but got it wrong. Could really use some support and advice, please?

You probably was yearning for companionship and friendship with this guy. That's what is probably why you are depressed. You did the right thing and broke off contact. My bil didn't and gave away >$100k before he was cut off and was looking for friendship and excitement.

Find someone in real life (present that is). Easier to say than do - I haven't found anyone yet and been searching for years. It doesn't have to be the opposite sex although that helps. My friend does the same like you and gets seriously depressed.

My 2 cents. I'm not trying to be rude or pushy. It's what that has been instrumental in my life.

 

[Rhidia]

Thank you all, I needed to hear this. Life just isn't kind sometimes...

 

[KM76710]

Thank you all, I needed to hear this. Life just isn't kind sometimes...

I wish it was kinder, to you and others. Everybody deserves their share of peace, quiet and good things.

 

[Windhover]

I send support. Sorry this happened to you.
As for advice: just that you continue to stand your ground, keep telling yourself you have done the right thing, and get through the pain of this as gently and confidently as you can. We're here to support you and listen to anything else you'd like to say about the pain, depression, etc. We're all human, make mistakes, misjudgements, experience the dark and light parts of our stories, but at the core we are adding to what our soul knows about itself. If that makes sense.

I think it is very hard to stop and make the decision, then stick to it and carry them out. The pain comes in waves, at least for me it does, like a form of grief.

 

[LumberJack]

That definitely was a scam. You dodged a bullet. The thing is that the scammers know how to emotionally manipulate people, and people who are hurting are easiest to manipulate. Same thing happened my widow(er)s support group. Some sketchy actors came in and started trying to sell stuff. Luckily the person in charge of the fb group saw it coming a mile away (she had been a widow for over 10 yrs at that time) and kicked those folks. I know I would have fallen prey at that point in my life. I read in a tech blog recently (cybersecurity, because I am a nerd, lol) about how much these scammers make yearly, and that's just on the reported losses. It's in the $Billions/yr - that's how easy it is to fall for it. I am a nerd who reads cybersecurity blogs in my spare time, and I was even taken in by a phishing over text scam. Listen to those intuitions that tell you it's a bad idea. I'm almost positive he would have started asking for money once he felt he had reeled you in.

I would suggest that it's not necessary to feel stupid about it. The scammers get more sophisticated every year. People who are supposed to be quite aware and intelligent (as in MD or PhD level) also fall victim, as was said above sometimes to amounts over $100K. I know that feeling of what seems to be an interesting relationship starting up. In my case, I'm gay, so when someone is trying to pull a scam on me by impersonating an attractive woman, it's quite a lot easier to spot, but at the same time I know that it can feel like any other addiction where you want more and you feel dependent upon that feeling.

 

[Rhidia]

Thank you Lumberjack, that helped. I need reminding of these things sometimes.

 

[Rhidia]

That definitely was a scam. You dodged a bullet. The thing is that the scammers know how to emotionally manipulate people, and people who are hurting are easiest to manipulate. Same thing happened my widow(er)s support group. Some sketchy actors came in and started trying to sell stuff. Luckily the person in charge of the fb group saw it coming a mile away (she had been a widow for over 10 yrs at that time) and kicked those folks. I know I would have fallen prey at that point in my life. I read in a tech blog recently (cybersecurity, because I am a nerd, lol) about how much these scammers make yearly, and that's just on the reported losses. It's in the $Billions/yr - that's how easy it is to fall for it. I am a nerd who reads cybersecurity blogs in my spare time, and I was even taken in by a phishing over text scam. Listen to those intuitions that tell you it's a bad idea. I'm almost positive he would have started asking for money once he felt he had reeled you in.

I would suggest that it's not necessary to feel stupid about it. The scammers get more sophisticated every year. People who are supposed to be quite aware and intelligent (as in MD or PhD level) also fall victim, as was said above sometimes to amounts over $100K. I know that feeling of what seems to be an interesting relationship starting up. In my case, I'm gay, so when someone is trying to pull a scam on me by impersonating an attractive woman, it's quite a lot easier to spot, but at the same time I know that it can feel like any other addiction where you want more and you feel dependent upon that feeling.

Thank you Lumberjack, this helps. I need reminding of things like this sometimes.