Hi sweetie, sorry i have no words of wisdom as i'm having some sort of anxiety issues at the moment but i read this thread again and just wanted to tell you, you're not a fuck up for relying on medication, millions of people have to rely on medication, I think you rock, I think you need to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself for the things you ''think'' you have done wrong and move on. You will always be a wonderful person in my eyes and there are so many people here that look up to you, myself included, love and hugs