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one year
- Thread starter IV2010
- Start date
IV i am here okay i care i truly do i wish i could hold you for awhile let you know that you are not alone. Family can be so dam cruel they can i hope and pray you have a friend there to support you through allthis pain. take care of you IV please have a support plan in place okay call crisis even go into hospital if need me but stay safe. you deserve a safe place a kind place where people can help your through this painful time:hugtackles::hugtackles::hugtackles:
s*
It is Christmas here for me today and I thought about you and wondered how you had fared yesterday. Sometimes I am not sure which is the most difficult, firsts or seconds. I know this first anniversary is extremely difficult. Maybe some of the other things going on were meant to take your mind off of your son if only for a brief moment. No solace in that I know. Sorry 
I have not experienced the pain of losing a child to suicide, but I have lost those I love and care for deeply. You are a survivor IV. Take your days one at a time and praise yourself for having the strength to make it through them. Your son lives on in your heart. Hold him close. Light a candle in his honor or do something in his memory. It is kind of silly, but I was so angry at my friend for taking his life that I completely lost it on the first anniversary of his death. I yelled at him, and screamed, got so angry with him, and cried. I felt better after. All those emotions bottled up for so long with nowhere to go needed a release. I do not know where you are in the grieving process, but allow yourself to feel your emotions. Take care of yourself :hug:
I have not experienced the pain of losing a child to suicide, but I have lost those I love and care for deeply. You are a survivor IV. Take your days one at a time and praise yourself for having the strength to make it through them. Your son lives on in your heart. Hold him close. Light a candle in his honor or do something in his memory. It is kind of silly, but I was so angry at my friend for taking his life that I completely lost it on the first anniversary of his death. I yelled at him, and screamed, got so angry with him, and cried. I felt better after. All those emotions bottled up for so long with nowhere to go needed a release. I do not know where you are in the grieving process, but allow yourself to feel your emotions. Take care of yourself :hug:thank you gentlelady for your kind words..it helps
today is the day...the day 1 year ago I felt something was wrong and was so agitated I couldn't sit still..never had anxiety like that before...
I can probably hazard a guess at the time he did it because of how I felt...
I felt his pain in my soul that day..
I text him and he didn't answer..
I thought he was with his mates...
today is his mates birthday..poor J. how must he feel!!
It was 8pm when the call came from his Dad...
I remember asking him to repeat himself twice..as if I needed to hear it again
after that things are a blur...finding someone to drive me there ..police.....undertaker....identifying him..
no parent should have to go through that ever
the last 12 months have been a blur of pain and misery..of counselors, doctors, meds...a total breakdown....more and more meds...
I don't understand why I'm still here except to not cause anymore pain for my family....
If only he had thought of that before he left us.
I hope you found peace my precious son...I will love you forever xx
today is the day...the day 1 year ago I felt something was wrong and was so agitated I couldn't sit still..never had anxiety like that before...
I can probably hazard a guess at the time he did it because of how I felt...
I felt his pain in my soul that day..
I text him and he didn't answer..
I thought he was with his mates...
today is his mates birthday..poor J. how must he feel!!
It was 8pm when the call came from his Dad...
I remember asking him to repeat himself twice..as if I needed to hear it again
after that things are a blur...finding someone to drive me there ..police.....undertaker....identifying him..
no parent should have to go through that ever
the last 12 months have been a blur of pain and misery..of counselors, doctors, meds...a total breakdown....more and more meds...
I don't understand why I'm still here except to not cause anymore pain for my family....
If only he had thought of that before he left us.
I hope you found peace my precious son...I will love you forever xx
oh IV i am so sorry for your loss I am sure you son did not want to leave you in pain like this I have come so close so i know how that pain takes over all rational thought He could not think clearly. I am glad you have you family to hold you here with us. I know it is hard but we have to hold on for them Hugs okay and so many more anytime i mean it any time IV pm okay
It just gets better and better!
alone today..
thought I was going with the only daughter who bothers about me to the family get together for the anniversary and she tells me that they (including her) are all staying the night at her fathers (my exes) so I can't go because she can't bring me home and i don't have a car (because it died)..
I'm sick of my selfish family ..why do I have to stay around for them when they don't give a dam about me!!
I wish I was with my son...
alone today..
thought I was going with the only daughter who bothers about me to the family get together for the anniversary and she tells me that they (including her) are all staying the night at her fathers (my exes) so I can't go because she can't bring me home and i don't have a car (because it died)..
I'm sick of my selfish family ..why do I have to stay around for them when they don't give a dam about me!!
I wish I was with my son...
People can be so selfish and thoughtless even at such a painful time. You have to be just as focussed on yourself and make sure you get the support you need. Stay with sf for that support - tell us about your son and how wonderful he was; tell us anything you want but please stay with us for your sake and no one else's. Sending love x