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Only Attracted to "Hot" Women
- Thread starter anonymousguy
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Have you ever hung out in places like Greenwich Village? Or like the Upper Eastside? Tribeca? In the City you'll see the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and it will make you vomit. It’s someone who's been trained for 20-22 years to look this "hot". It's pure decadence. I don't mean the girl was just beautiful she was naturally very attractive. It was the way she dressed, classy yet showed off everything (a skirt almost too short but not heels almost too tall but still classy etc). It was the way she moved and carried herself. She was "hotness" and yet it was the vilest thing I've ever seen. She was taught to be like this, raised specifically to be hot. She was not like those girls, or women, you've seen that are naturally beautiful, though sometimes they are scary too though. How did some being so fucking great looking come together? It was the most deliberate creation of a person I've ever seen.
I guess my point is I like attractive women too, I just prefer the ones that come about it in an almost unexpected way. Not that looking for someone you're physically attracted too is wrong at all, I mean sex is an important part of any relationship and that attraction and desire needs to be there for a healthy relationship. I find that I prefer girls with some sort of weird eccentric thing about them, something that makes them interesting intellectually. which can be dead sexy . . ..
I guess my point is I like attractive women too, I just prefer the ones that come about it in an almost unexpected way. Not that looking for someone you're physically attracted too is wrong at all, I mean sex is an important part of any relationship and that attraction and desire needs to be there for a healthy relationship. I find that I prefer girls with some sort of weird eccentric thing about them, something that makes them interesting intellectually. which can be dead sexy . . ..
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I'll try to explain what goes on in my head.
On Thursday I saw one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was about 5'5", her body was thin and almost fragile looking (not overly thin, but very feminine). She had a gorgeous smile, very wide, with straight white teeth. Her facial features were delicate, and symmetrical. She had a light mocha complexion which was very smooth looking, neither shiny nor matte, but somewhere in between. Her hair was black and curly, not in an afro, but held back with a headband. If I couldn't see that she was smiling, I could hear the smile through her voice. She sounded bright and excited, genuinely enthralled with life for whatever reason. Although such a label is unfair and obviously inaccurate, she was perfect.
My consciousness was dedicated to her for a short while, whatever was on my mind escaped. I felt melty. If I was asked a question during this time, the retrieval of information from my brain would have been an arduous task, if otherwise simple. The scene from the movie where the geeky guy gets tongue tied when the pretty girl is around, that's me.
Afterwards, I'm back on earth and I feel like shit. I know I want her, and I want her to want me. I know that of course she doesn't want me. She could never want me, nobody as beautiful as her could want me. I don't deserve someone like her. I'm a creep and a loser. I'm ugly, a high school dropout, I have no job, no friends, I hate parties, I hate life. I would never be able to relate to her on any level. I hate myself. She deserves much better.
So, I figure before I even think about dating, I need to get to a place in life where I'm comfortable. I need to like myself. I need to like my work. I need to like living. I don't see these things as possible. When I tried to pursue finishing my high school education, despite getting very good grades, I was very depressed and I discontinued once again. When I'm out participating in the world I feel more lonely than when I isolate myself in my bedroom. When I see everyone else looking so happy - with friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, ambition and drive, love for life - I feel dejected. How can I work to improve my life if every time I go out and do anything I end up feeling worse?
My problem isn't that I'm "Only Attracted to "Hot" Women", my problem is self-loathing. I feel like I don't deserve to be with someone who I'm attracted to, because I'm shit.
On Thursday I saw one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was about 5'5", her body was thin and almost fragile looking (not overly thin, but very feminine). She had a gorgeous smile, very wide, with straight white teeth. Her facial features were delicate, and symmetrical. She had a light mocha complexion which was very smooth looking, neither shiny nor matte, but somewhere in between. Her hair was black and curly, not in an afro, but held back with a headband. If I couldn't see that she was smiling, I could hear the smile through her voice. She sounded bright and excited, genuinely enthralled with life for whatever reason. Although such a label is unfair and obviously inaccurate, she was perfect.
My consciousness was dedicated to her for a short while, whatever was on my mind escaped. I felt melty. If I was asked a question during this time, the retrieval of information from my brain would have been an arduous task, if otherwise simple. The scene from the movie where the geeky guy gets tongue tied when the pretty girl is around, that's me.
Afterwards, I'm back on earth and I feel like shit. I know I want her, and I want her to want me. I know that of course she doesn't want me. She could never want me, nobody as beautiful as her could want me. I don't deserve someone like her. I'm a creep and a loser. I'm ugly, a high school dropout, I have no job, no friends, I hate parties, I hate life. I would never be able to relate to her on any level. I hate myself. She deserves much better.
So, I figure before I even think about dating, I need to get to a place in life where I'm comfortable. I need to like myself. I need to like my work. I need to like living. I don't see these things as possible. When I tried to pursue finishing my high school education, despite getting very good grades, I was very depressed and I discontinued once again. When I'm out participating in the world I feel more lonely than when I isolate myself in my bedroom. When I see everyone else looking so happy - with friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, ambition and drive, love for life - I feel dejected. How can I work to improve my life if every time I go out and do anything I end up feeling worse?
My problem isn't that I'm "Only Attracted to "Hot" Women", my problem is self-loathing. I feel like I don't deserve to be with someone who I'm attracted to, because I'm shit.
Do you think by "only being attracted to 'hot' women" you're actually just trying to protect yourself from rejection? You feel unworthy of their "hotness" so you don't approach them, so they can't reject you. But in your head, they're rejecting you anyway, right? They're just not actually saying it.
What about an actual plain old friendship with a less than "hot" girl. To become comfortable talking to them? Sound possible? Would that help?
What about an actual plain old friendship with a less than "hot" girl. To become comfortable talking to them? Sound possible? Would that help?
Do you think by "only being attracted to 'hot' women" you're actually just trying to protect yourself from rejection? You feel unworthy of their "hotness" so you don't approach them, so they can't reject you. But in your head, they're rejecting you anyway, right? They're just not actually saying it.
What about an actual plain old friendship with a less than "hot" girl. To become comfortable talking to them? Sound possible? Would that help?
What about an actual plain old friendship with a less than "hot" girl. To become comfortable talking to them? Sound possible? Would that help?
Plain old friendship, eh? You make it sound easy. I have a lot of trouble maintaining friendships with even male friends. Although, at least with them I usually have common interests, and my sense of humor is more appealing to men it seems. Although, if I found a girl who wanted to be my friend, I wouldn't be against it.
I wasn't attempting to make having a plain friendship with a girl sound easy. Hell, I don't have that really. I guess what I was getting at is, seeing women as potential friends rather than potential mates.
Seeing a "hot" girl across the room doesn't tell you much about whether you'll click or not. But spending time letting a girl "friend" get to know more about you, she might know a girl that would be right for you. Or she might be the right one for you, but you've taken the pressure of impressing her out of the equation.
Hell, I'm talking out of my ass. This is stuff that I think I need to do. I don't know if it would help you or not, just giving you an option to consider.
Seeing a "hot" girl across the room doesn't tell you much about whether you'll click or not. But spending time letting a girl "friend" get to know more about you, she might know a girl that would be right for you. Or she might be the right one for you, but you've taken the pressure of impressing her out of the equation.
Hell, I'm talking out of my ass. This is stuff that I think I need to do. I don't know if it would help you or not, just giving you an option to consider.
Sorry about my sarcastic reply on your thread here earlier. I do understand how you're feeling about being attracted to a certain quality in another person. We all have things we desire in the opposite/or same sex. From what you've said about your situation, it sounds like maybe you're holding up these women's physical looks above all else and subsequently feeling like they are too good for you based soley on their appearances. It sounds like you think these beautiful women will be as superficial as you are. I don't mean that to sound rude or insulting, I mean to say that you seem to be mirroring your ideals onto them without any knowledge of how they might really feel about being with a guy like you. This is a bit out there, but why not think of the beautiful women you see as more than just good-looks. Think about what they are like, how they think, if they are smart, funny, interesting? Then instead of comparing their looks to yours and feeling inferior, you can compare your personalities, intelligences, maybe realize that there may be more or less there than meets the eye. I know it's difficult from afar, but you can always gauge the way people are by observation. It may be to your benefit to see beyond the beauty and possibly realize that sometimes it's only skin-deep. Or maybe even realize that some might actually find a guy like you attractive.