Am I the only 20 year old who hardly leaves the house, watch tv, surf the internet the whole day. I was looking through some profiles and posts and quite frankly find it amazing that most of you manage to go to work, uni, have friends, have a good social life or at least have a life, have a boyfriend or a girl friend, at least had sex etc!!! The truth really is I envy most of you. I feel as though everybody else has a life doing things except me. I feel so depressed and lonely because of this.
Most of you appear very normal to me. Ive never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, no job and have no social life at all. I feel like a total loser and whats worse is I get so jealous reading other threads when people mention about their past relationships and present relationships, how many people they have slept with, when they mention the words ' my friends', when they talk about their work and family. I dont know if this is making any sense but I suffer from a combination of unemployment/depression/loneliness/low self esteem
I couldn't even attend university anymore because of depression so I had to defer and the company I was working for had to close operations so I was out of work and have been 90% housebound for nearly 3 weeks now . If there were to be a low budget film or documentary to be made about socialphobia or agoraphobia and it's extreme effects i'd be the ideal candidate to film it.
Ive sunk to an all time low that I even browse through myspace and look at other peoples profiles. I looked at alot of ppls profiles and when I see how much fun they are having it reminds me of how shit my life really is. It reminds me of how lonely I am. Not everyone has myspace though only 300 million accounts out of a potential 6.5 billion out there alot are fake. But the majority are extroverts, I think I happened to be an introvert a really sick introvert. Im just a minority.
Sorry for all this but boy am i pissed off, depressed, angry, lonely and jealous of even you people. It feels like I am the only one missing out on life!!!! I know people here must be feeling empty now or some stages in their life. But I feel so empty all the time, I dont think I have done anything with my life. Im turning 21 soon but if it continues like this for another 4 years I will probably end up killing myself. Right now I don't even have the balls to kill myself but I might not have any choice at all, it is the easy way out.
I don't think anybody not even this forum is like me at all. I dont think anyone has missed out as much as I have missed out on life. I am different in the most f**cked up way imaginable. I really hate my life and with god damn good reasons
Most of you appear very normal to me. Ive never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, no job and have no social life at all. I feel like a total loser and whats worse is I get so jealous reading other threads when people mention about their past relationships and present relationships, how many people they have slept with, when they mention the words ' my friends', when they talk about their work and family. I dont know if this is making any sense but I suffer from a combination of unemployment/depression/loneliness/low self esteem
I couldn't even attend university anymore because of depression so I had to defer and the company I was working for had to close operations so I was out of work and have been 90% housebound for nearly 3 weeks now . If there were to be a low budget film or documentary to be made about socialphobia or agoraphobia and it's extreme effects i'd be the ideal candidate to film it.
Ive sunk to an all time low that I even browse through myspace and look at other peoples profiles. I looked at alot of ppls profiles and when I see how much fun they are having it reminds me of how shit my life really is. It reminds me of how lonely I am. Not everyone has myspace though only 300 million accounts out of a potential 6.5 billion out there alot are fake. But the majority are extroverts, I think I happened to be an introvert a really sick introvert. Im just a minority.
Sorry for all this but boy am i pissed off, depressed, angry, lonely and jealous of even you people. It feels like I am the only one missing out on life!!!! I know people here must be feeling empty now or some stages in their life. But I feel so empty all the time, I dont think I have done anything with my life. Im turning 21 soon but if it continues like this for another 4 years I will probably end up killing myself. Right now I don't even have the balls to kill myself but I might not have any choice at all, it is the easy way out.
I don't think anybody not even this forum is like me at all. I dont think anyone has missed out as much as I have missed out on life. I am different in the most f**cked up way imaginable. I really hate my life and with god damn good reasons
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