please GOD hear me

[justjeff]

Im so scared. Its so hard to breath. My wife of 20 years is leaving me
and our 2 children. She says she is not happy anymore and has found
someone else whom she thinks can make her happy. I know how selfish suicide is but the thoughts are just so overwhelming. All my life I have been abandoned I dont want to put my kids through that. Im so scared. How do I survive this? She hasent left yet shes just gone alot. I asked her to please stop talking to this GUY so we can work on our relationship but she refuses. I feel so tortured its amazing what Ill put up with to not be alone. Im so tired
tired of all this fear and pain. Im so tired. My nights are filled with terrors and my days with anxiety and suffering. Please GOD help me.

 

[Terry]

firstly welcome.

been here, and know exactly how terrifying it can be, to say nothing of the heartbreak of the split.
Get friends and family to rally round, you're going need support and an ear, because you are going to need to talk and talk until you are spent.
You are in for a difficult time, no point in lying, the start of a break up is tough.
You feel raw, alone and scared.
The only thing I can promise you is it gets easier, time really does help you put some order into your life and the pain becomes less raw with time. :hug:

 

[WildCherry]

All I can do is echo what Terry said. It's going to hurt, and you're going to need as much support as possible. Do you have family, friends, anyone you're close with? Just keep talking, try to get out how you're feeling, I've seen people lock all their feelings inside and it only served to hurt them more. Post here whenever you need support, there are people who have either been through it, or who will just be willing to be there to listen and offer support.

 

[tweetypie]

what a terrible thing to have to go through. There are many people here who will offer their support including me. I hope and pray you find the strength you need to get through this. *giant hug*

 

[justjeff]

My only family is my mother 1200 miles away Ive been talking to her but I guess Im trying to protect her fom the pain inside of me. My wifes family was the closest thing to family Ive had in the last 20 years. I think thats part of what hurts so much is that I feel like Im loosing everything. I lost my job in this economy, now my wife, I cant afford the house payments without her and I dont think I could sell it as fast as they could foreclose on it. My kids are going to be torn apart. all the while she will have the support of her family, friends, job, new boyfriend ect...Its just so frusterating. She never seems to feel pain she just smirks and moves on. I on the other hand am overly sensitive, emotional, anxious, having panic attacks, and for the most part scared out of my mind. All while trying to act normal around our kids while cooking or playing with them when thier mom is out with some GUY who is making her happy. Then she gets home and causually fixes herself something to eat with a fucking smile on her face. I dont argue or yell I just keep trying to be the good guy (while suffering inside) to see if I can put my relationship back together. Trying to use the ignorance is bliss example. Problem is IM NOT IGNORANT. Im just dying all the more every minute.

 

[WildCherry]

I know this isn't what you want to hear. But you don't deserve all the pain she's putting you through. I think trying to put the relationship back together will only end up hurting you, and possibly your kids, more in the long run. I know you want things to work, but you don't deserve to be played or used in any way.

 

[IV2010]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through..
breakups suck!! no doubt

what your wife is doing to you is wrong, cruel and vindictive..

you are doing a good thing looking after your children when under such stress yourself..credit to you for that

as others said here please keep talking and reaching out for help
your children will need you in their lives so I hope you can stay strong for them

have you spoken to your doctor about what's going on and how you feel?

take care *

 

[total eclipse]

YOu need to get some support in place for YOU okay you need to get a lawyer who will fight for YOUR rights here especially the right to visit your children
I know you are suffering greatly but if you can put the pain aside for awhile and make sure you have legal help then you will not lose everything. Your children need your protection okay your love and they need to know that you are not going to leave their lives but will be a part of it forever. YOur children will always need their dad Always okay get a lawyer NOW okay don't wait and get the support you need to survive this. hugs

 

[Terry]

Bloody hell this is so reminiscent of my life :grr:
PM me anytime....been there, worn the t-shirt and most important of all..SURVIVED!!!

 

[Stranger1]

I went thru the samething with my ex.. I tried six times to make it work and she cheated on me everytime.. I finally had my fill of it..I walked out the door and never came back..The only reason I tried so hard was I wanted my daughter to have both parents.. Well my ex moved to New York before I could get the divorce finalized..There wasn't anything I could do about it.. I went thru the greiving, guilt, and anger.. Thats what helped me the most was the anger.. You know what you will get over her..

 

[Sadeyes]

I also understand what you are going through although there were no children...my ex was seeing someone who he invited to our home...I knew it when I saw them together...I threw him out of the house (all his stuff in boxes which I was going to put in the garbage if he did not leave that day), licked my wounds (that took a while) and rid myself of this lying, cheating piece of trash...it takes a while to find your MOJO, but it is there if you look for it...you are not the one who did anything wrong! Please treat yourself in a way you deserve and do not let her be the reason why you hurt yourself more...she is not worth it! (I know how hard this is too!)...J