please talk with me

[dying_inside]

The date is getting closer and i cant stop thinking about it.... how, when, where, if i'll get the right timing, who will find me...

im scared to death of the act itself. last time they intubated me and it was so painful.

this time... im just so scared but...

i cant go on living like this.

i feel like im going crazy.

id want to comfort eating but im trying to lose weight. i really need to lose weight.

there is no relief, nothing to make me feel better.

please talk with me...

 

[iloverachel]

Hello my friend i am here to talk

 

[dying_inside]

thank you, i just cant stop thinking about it...

 

[KM76710]

Anytime that I am on here you are always welcome to message me or start a conversation or chat in whatever way.

 

[BooKerD]

Hi, im here to talk

 

[dying_inside]

Thank you both, you're so kind...

right now i dont have words, but i will reach out. thank you

 

[dying_inside]

i have written down my method hoping it will relieve my anxiety, but it didnt work.
i keep thinking about it and i keep making choices that will lead me there.
i want to quit my meds and stop eating just to feel worse than i already do.
it will be a long suffered travel but its worth it if it leads me there.

 

[Waves]

Hello. Your pain sounds unbearable. We all know that pain. I wish you could get relief in life. Because we all know there is nothing afterwards. No joy at all.

 

[dying_inside]

Nothing still seems better than pain and torture. cause i feel nothing but that in life...

 

[Waves]

I understand how you feel. I am afraid of being worse off though with any attempts. I have learned things can always be worse. They can be better too. It is so hard to have believe that when in pain though and for so long. I wish I had the cure and answers for you. I really do. I also wish more people were kind, tolerant, and patient with us.

 

[dying_inside]

Thank you so much Waves.
im scared and anxious about the next attempt too but i dont see any other option or way out.
im so sick and tired of this life. everything goes wrong. ive had enough.
but i still have time to think better about it, even if i dont think i'll change my mind.... sooner or later im doomed to do it...

 

[may71]

Hugs @dying_inside

 

[nicktheundoer]

Thank you so much Waves.
im scared and anxious about the next attempt too but i dont see any other option or way out.
im so sick and tired of this life. everything goes wrong. ive had enough.
but i still have time to think better about it, even if i dont think i'll change my mind.... sooner or later im doomed to do it...

I'm so sorry for what you're going through..it seems hard for you rn..just hold on.. I'll pray and I hope everything gets better..You are nice and good..sending hugs

 

[Livelife]

I understand, and sorry you feel so badly. Sending hugs

 

[dying_inside]

Thank you for your support...

i dont know how to survive

 

[may71]

Are there things that you can think of that we could do to help, besides just talking?

 

[dying_inside]

im watching tv but it only makes me think more.
about death, suicide, my plan...
im scared.
i dont like my plan but its the best i could come up with.
i cant find other ways out.
i hate everything of my life and i want to avoid everything.
i want to avoid my life.

 

[Pricosmin]

i hate everything of my life and i want to avoid everything.
i want to avoid my life.

Hi there... I know how you feel...most of us knows. I wish I had a "reset button" also but all i have are my toughts ... Can't say for myself I'm feeling better than yesterday but I really really really wish to send you in that message all the love and support I / we have for you.

 

[dying_inside]

i've quit my meds and i've been sick for a week.
i try to get ready but im only scared.
i do nothing at home... i dont even take showers. im super depressed and dont get out of home.
how much longer can i live like this?

 

[nicktheundoer]

im watching tv but it only makes me think more.
about death, suicide, my plan...
im scared.
i dont like my plan but its the best i could come up with.
i cant find other ways out.
i hate everything of my life and i want to avoid everything.
i want to avoid my life.

I read a quote a while back by 'Thich Nhat Hanh' that "The only way out is in"
Praying for you..I hope everything will be alright...hugsss