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sinking_ship

Awesome SFer
Forum Pro
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Not sure writing it made it better, as the response was underwhelming (as always). She doesn't contemplate, it's impossible. Nothing ever "sank in" and nothing ever will. She lives in a completely different universe, and we don't speak the same "language".
This is exactly how it went today :

- Me : You just manipulated dad into doing something. You always do that. (dad agrees)
A few minutes later, I get a text from her...

- Mom : You have no respect for your mother. You treat me like your enemy. (overreacting?)
- Me : I don't have enemies... blah blah blah Me venting a little about how I truly feel when she manipulates, how her interests are always more important than other's happiness while I'm the opposite personality-wise, that my idea of respect and love is not the same as hers, and that she may not understand my message because we both think in different ways, which makes me sad. I ended with "Just a few of my thoughts, I'm not attacking you. Please think about them. [flower and heart emojis]"
It was a short, kind but true message.
A few minutes later...

- Mom : You don't understand me. You're being so arrogant. That's not how you speak with a mother.

My message could literally have never been written. She hears me, she reads me, but she is unable to process. Her brain deletes everything that is not in her interest. It's like talking deep politics with a 2-year-old. Though she is what people call a "smart" woman. *sigh*

Thank you for caring, Ash.
I'm sorry, that's really frustrating. It's so hard sometimes to have an adult relationship with parents. *hug
 

Witty_Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
Apparently there was an active shooter at a church near here. Thankfully they found no weapon and no shots were fired, but it's still scary. Even being in a small town doesn't make it any safer.
 

Gonz

Well-Known Member
This guy was like "Races should not combine because you could come out with a defective product". So, people are products now? And yeah, there's just a lot wrong with that sentiment, it really bothers me.
God, you know, I thought people like that were dying off. I mean, I knew they were out there and that they were a problem, but I figured their numbers had been declining and we’d be pretty much done with them within a few more generations.

Events of the last few years have proven me wrong, they’ve just been laying low and keeping to themselves for a while. But now they’ve been emboldened and they’re popping up fucking everywhere.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
God, you know, I thought people like that were dying off. I mean, I knew they were out there and that they were a problem, but I figured their numbers had been declining and we’d be pretty much done with them within a few more generations.

Events of the last few years have proven me wrong, they’ve just been laying low and keeping to themselves for a while. But now they’ve been emboldened and they’re popping up fucking everywhere.
It seems as time goes on, people are getting stupider instead of progressing into something better. Seems like the movie Idiocracy might actually be happening.
 

Lilmeowmeow

SF hugger jr 🤗
I was calming down figuring why I fear going back to therapy. Hope this make sense. But from the bottom of my heart:

I used to be the kid that gets easily excitable when first trying to discover more about myself alone when I got all the courage to self-belief by kind strangers and of course, there’s times that there would be setbacks. The setbacks is terrifying, I tend to limit myself up till now whenever I got hurt. The feeling of being hurt feels so overwhelming and I wish I knew why, it’s hard to even hear yourself when you feel trap or heavy yet I know it feels strangely calm after talking without drugs. Oh yes, finding someone that cares used to be tough back then. Me kept being dismissed early when I asked for help has always been traumatising to me. Questions from therapist still do pales me up. So why therapy again?

Back to reality, when things gets too excited or just too much, I used to be a diva that wants to relate so much like any idol that I’m inspired by to be heard when calling for help was impossible at that time without my parents internal support but that’s because as a nobody/designer, I was always influenced to be inspired as a way to make myself happy but the immaturity me used to be brainwashed to be like them, wanting to be like/wanted/reserved while all my friends are impeccable of love except me and I did not know that idols themselves is a human. These twelve months, I have learned to control my excitements by knowing there’s no need to have rough times to be heard.

Not that I’m proud or anything but I’m still an expert at hiding. I just don’t want to over sugar-coating myself anymore and I do feel bad for hurting the people in real life that actually cares which I just did not know off and who has been hunting for me for being MIA but that’s because I’m still scared to feel the real me like I fear I will chicken out abruptly in between sessions again and I still do cry a lot pondering upon when will I ever recover.

I left them, I’m still a runner when comes to explaining self, I’m sorry.

Still so anxious about tomorrow.
 
I've been sick for one day and immediatly I'm bombarded with a ridiculously large assignment which I only have one week for to complete.

Now that'd be fine and all if my teachers had the decency to atleast tell me what exactly I have to do, but all I'm getting is vague information and a picture of a piece of paper that shows half of the words written on it.

I can't do shit with ''do this''.

I swear to god, once I'm done with artschool I'm never making art again. I'm done with it, it's mentally draining me and kills my creativity.

People treat me like a fool when I say that I care more about going to the gym than my education. There's a reason for this, because when I go to the gym I feel like I actually got a purpose in my life. I /enjoy/ going there because I make progress.
 
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Ash600

✮☆Meetup star ☆✮
SF Creative
SF Supporter
Not sure writing it made it better, as the response was underwhelming (as always). She doesn't contemplate, it's impossible. Nothing ever "sank in" and nothing ever will. She lives in a completely different universe, and we don't speak the same "language".
This is exactly how it went today :

- Me : You just manipulated dad into doing something. You always do that. (dad agrees)
A few minutes later, I get a text from her...

- Mom : You have no respect for your mother. You treat me like your enemy. (overreacting?)
- Me : I don't have enemies... blah blah blah Me venting a little about how I truly feel when she manipulates, how her interests are always more important than other's happiness while I'm the opposite personality-wise, that my idea of respect and love is not the same as hers, and that she may not understand my message because we both think in different ways, which makes me sad. I ended with "Just a few of my thoughts, I'm not attacking you. Please think about them. [flower and heart emojis]"
It was a short, kind but true message.
A few minutes later...


- Mom : You don't understand me. You're being so arrogant. That's not how you speak with a mother.

My message could literally have never been written. She hears me, she reads me, but she is unable to process. Her brain deletes everything that is not in her interest. It's like talking deep politics with a 2-year-old. Though she is what people call a "smart" woman. *sigh*

Thank you for caring, Ash.
You know, whenever I hear someone try to offer a lucid and logical point of view and all they get in reply is "don't speak to me like that, I'm supposed to be your mother/father/sibling/partner (delete as appropriate)" - it's so much a default defensive mechanism of theirs kicking in when they know they are in the wrong but just can't handle it. Basically, their beliefs have been challenged which makes them as uncomfortable as f##k as they're in undoubtedly unfamiliar territory.

- Mom : You don't understand me. You're being so arrogant. That's not how you speak with a mother.
I suppose the pertinent reply would be "and this I suppose is how one is meant to speak to your daughter?" But of course, I expect that would just merely inflame the situation. It seems that trying to reason with her is like banging one's head against a brick wall.

The eyes are open but they do not see
The ears are receptive, but they do not hear
The mind is closed and existence lies up to one's own nose.


It's hard to find an amenable solution if she's being so obtuse and resistant as it takes two to tango, and I'm sorry you have to endure this shite.
 

Auri

♪ღ♪•SF Rock Star*♪ღ♪
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
You know, whenever I hear someone try to offer a lucid and logical point of view and all they get in reply is "don't speak to me like that, I'm supposed to be your mother/father/sibling/partner (delete as appropriate)" - it's so much a default defensive mechanism of theirs kicking in when they know they are in the wrong but just can't handle it. Basically, their beliefs have been challenged which makes them as uncomfortable as f##k as they're in undoubtedly unfamiliar territory.

I suppose the pertinent reply would be "and this I suppose is how one is meant to speak to your daughter?" But of course, I expect that would just merely inflame the situation. It seems that trying to reason with her is like banging one's head against a brick wall.

The eyes are open but they do not see
The ears are receptive, but they do not hear
The mind is closed and existence lies up to one's own nose.


It's hard to find an amenable solution if she's being so obtuse and resistant as it takes two to tango, and I'm sorry you have to endure this shite.
Thank you, Ash. I've had enough time to try everything with her, but she has never improved, even a little bit. It's a lost cause that is hard to accept because I feel like she's the one missing out on so much from never understanding, but that's how it will be. I can't change it, she's the only one who can.
Both my parents believe in parental supremacy, so I would have never replied that. :p lol I didn't reply anything, it was too... absurd. I'm not very stubborn when it comes to having the last word.
 

Auri

♪ღ♪•SF Rock Star*♪ღ♪
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
Yeah I'm the adult in the room with my mom too, though our relationship sounds less confrontational.
My mom and I literally have zero points in common. Opposite goals, opposite values, opposite dreams, opposite interests, opposite personalities... Nothing. We used to fight almost daily because of that, but since then I gave up on trying to make her understand some things, I accepted that she is not even open to change, so I don't care anymore, I let everything go and the result is we fight a bit less. :)
 

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