Not sure writing it made it better, as the response was underwhelming (as always). She doesn't contemplate, it's impossible. Nothing ever "sank in" and nothing ever will. She lives in a completely different universe, and we don't speak the same "language".
This is exactly how it went today :
- Me : You just manipulated dad into doing something. You always do that. (dad agrees)
A few minutes later, I get a text from her...
- Mom : You have no respect for your mother. You treat me like your enemy. (overreacting?)
- Me : I don't have enemies... blah blah blah Me venting a little about how I truly feel when she manipulates, how her interests are always more important than other's happiness while I'm the opposite personality-wise, that my idea of respect and love is not the same as hers, and that she may not understand my message because we both think in different ways, which makes me sad. I ended with "Just a few of my thoughts, I'm not attacking you. Please think about them. [flower and heart emojis]"
It was a short, kind but true message.
A few minutes later...
- Mom : You don't understand me. You're being so arrogant. That's not how you speak with a mother.
My message could literally have never been written. She hears me, she reads me, but she is unable to process. Her brain deletes everything that is not in her interest. It's like talking deep politics with a 2-year-old. Though she is what people call a "smart" woman. *sigh*
Thank you for caring, Ash.
This is exactly how it went today :
- Me : You just manipulated dad into doing something. You always do that. (dad agrees)
A few minutes later, I get a text from her...
- Mom : You have no respect for your mother. You treat me like your enemy. (overreacting?)
- Me : I don't have enemies... blah blah blah Me venting a little about how I truly feel when she manipulates, how her interests are always more important than other's happiness while I'm the opposite personality-wise, that my idea of respect and love is not the same as hers, and that she may not understand my message because we both think in different ways, which makes me sad. I ended with "Just a few of my thoughts, I'm not attacking you. Please think about them. [flower and heart emojis]"
It was a short, kind but true message.
A few minutes later...
- Mom : You don't understand me. You're being so arrogant. That's not how you speak with a mother.
My message could literally have never been written. She hears me, she reads me, but she is unable to process. Her brain deletes everything that is not in her interest. It's like talking deep politics with a 2-year-old. Though she is what people call a "smart" woman. *sigh*
Thank you for caring, Ash.