post your major complaint here

[Lisa the Ferrociraptor]

I posted in the petty complaints thread the other night about having to spend the night looking after my grandfather who is evidently succumbing to dementia. But every night since there's been another incident. The night after i posted, he called my dad and dragged him over to Clitheroe at 2:30 in the morning for a problem he'd already resolved just fine on his own. Then last night, he had an actual potentially serious complication, but he didn't call my dad, he just sat there with it for 5 hours until the day nurse turned up.

The man is obviously not fit to be on his own, he's too confused at this point to understand when he should and shouldn't push to get help. But he's insisting he doesn't want full-time nursing staff. And this afternoon, he was supposed to check into a care home for the next couple of weeks, so he could have better support while he still has the catheter in. But apparently he's refused to go, saying he doesn't want to go there while he's still in this mess. The whole point of the care home was to look after him while he's in this mess, so what the fuck does that mean?

It's just so frustrating. He obviously needs at the least an on-call nurse who can help him in the middle of the night, if not a full-time care facility, but he's acting like he's perfectly fine as things are, when he's wasting my dad's time when things are fine and not making use of him when there's a potentially serious problem. It feels like either my dad's gonna burn out, or something's gonna go really wrong, and granddad's gonna get seriously ill or even die. And the people who can make the necessary choice on granddad's behalf live in Cornwall, so they aren't really seeing just how bad he gets at night.

Today's the 19 year anniversary of mum's death, and i just feel completely broken at this point. I just don't have the strength for this. Mum should have been here, she would have seen it all, she'd have the power to make these calls, and she'd know to make the right decision. This whole thing would be so much simpler if she was here. It should have been me that died that day. I wish so badly i could find some way to trade my life for hers. It should've been me.

 

[1964dodge]

im sorry that you lost your mom but obviously it was her time and not yours. try to love and honor your mom the best you can.

as for your grandad he probably shouldn't live alone. if he refuses to do what needs to be done for his safety maybe he should be told that your dad may have to hold a competency hearing giving your dad power of attorney over his life especially his health.

is there any way he can live with your dad for a while? i know what you and your dad are going through and it's hard as hell. when we took care of my mom she would constantly call my son out of bed for something, he was glad to do it but well, she was lonely. and taking care of an ailing elder while raising a family is beyond stressfull. there was a program that would let us take up to 2 weeks a year for respite for us and our family, either in a facility or in the home. she wouldn't allow it, she became so agitated every time we brought it up we just gave up.
eventually my wife and i used our camper even in winter to be close, we left our teenage kids in charge, oldest was 17 and they had our cell and emergency #s. it doesn't matter what you guys do it's going to be a rough road to travel. keep an eye on your dad because he will be stressed. please use my inbox if you want to talk more

mike....

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I posted in the petty complaints thread the other night about having to spend the night looking after my grandfather who is evidently succumbing to dementia. But every night since there's been another incident. The night after i posted, he called my dad and dragged him over to Clitheroe at 2:30 in the morning for a problem he'd already resolved just fine on his own. Then last night, he had an actual potentially serious complication, but he didn't call my dad, he just sat there with it for 5 hours until the day nurse turned up.

The man is obviously not fit to be on his own, he's too confused at this point to understand when he should and shouldn't push to get help. But he's insisting he doesn't want full-time nursing staff. And this afternoon, he was supposed to check into a care home for the next couple of weeks, so he could have better support while he still has the catheter in. But apparently he's refused to go, saying he doesn't want to go there while he's still in this mess. The whole point of the care home was to look after him while he's in this mess, so what the fuck does that mean?

It's just so frustrating. He obviously needs at the least an on-call nurse who can help him in the middle of the night, if not a full-time care facility, but he's acting like he's perfectly fine as things are, when he's wasting my dad's time when things are fine and not making use of him when there's a potentially serious problem. It feels like either my dad's gonna burn out, or something's gonna go really wrong, and granddad's gonna get seriously ill or even die. And the people who can make the necessary choice on granddad's behalf live in Cornwall, so they aren't really seeing just how bad he gets at night.

Today's the 19 year anniversary of mum's death, and i just feel completely broken at this point. I just don't have the strength for this. Mum should have been here, she would have seen it all, she'd have the power to make these calls, and she'd know to make the right decision. This whole thing would be so much simpler if she was here. It should have been me that died that day. I wish so badly i could find some way to trade my life for hers. It should've been me.

I'm sorry you're going through all of that right now. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with what's been happening. Just sending hugs and hope things will get easier eventually.

 

[puffymilk]

I was sick last week and I hate that I'm (I think) fully recovered now. I think my sickness has its own pros and cons. One of the cons of course, everything hurts. I remember having a terrible terrible headache. I also had a pretty high fever. I was sweating, had a high fever, and that terrible headache. It was a superb combination, as you can imagine. On the other hand, I also felt like dying, but it was great, because I didn't have to do anything. I just had to lay there doing nothing though I felt like I was about to explode. I imagine that's what actual dying/death feels like. Everything is just empty. Nothing. I am finally free. No more emotional pain. But now that I've "come back to life", means that I have to stick to my non-existent routine, which is killing me. Also these toxic people around me, and I still can't find a way out (alive). I hate it. I'm getting really annoyed. That sickness should've killed me. Why am I even still here

 

[MisterBGone]

I posted in the petty complaints thread the other night about having to spend the night looking after my grandfather who is evidently succumbing to dementia. But every night since there's been another incident. The night after i posted, he called my dad and dragged him over to Clitheroe at 2:30 in the morning for a problem he'd already resolved just fine on his own. Then last night, he had an actual potentially serious complication, but he didn't call my dad, he just sat there with it for 5 hours until the day nurse turned up.

The man is obviously not fit to be on his own, he's too confused at this point to understand when he should and shouldn't push to get help. But he's insisting he doesn't want full-time nursing staff. And this afternoon, he was supposed to check into a care home for the next couple of weeks, so he could have better support while he still has the catheter in. But apparently he's refused to go, saying he doesn't want to go there while he's still in this mess. The whole point of the care home was to look after him while he's in this mess, so what the fuck does that mean?

It's just so frustrating. He obviously needs at the least an on-call nurse who can help him in the middle of the night, if not a full-time care facility, but he's acting like he's perfectly fine as things are, when he's wasting my dad's time when things are fine and not making use of him when there's a potentially serious problem. It feels like either my dad's gonna burn out, or something's gonna go really wrong, and granddad's gonna get seriously ill or even die. And the people who can make the necessary choice on granddad's behalf live in Cornwall, so they aren't really seeing just how bad he gets at night.

Today's the 19 year anniversary of mum's death, and i just feel completely broken at this point. I just don't have the strength for this. Mum should have been here, she would have seen it all, she'd have the power to make these calls, and she'd know to make the right decision. This whole thing would be so much simpler if she was here. It should have been me that died that day. I wish so badly i could find some way to trade my life for hers. It should've been me.

Sorry @Cynical Goatman - I don't know the exact stage your Grandfather is in with his dementia (the last being where he no longer recognizes you...) / but that is what assisted living facilities, are designed for--& as I'm sure you already know; they have ones or those that (or which) specialize in just this: that being, "memory care." As you say, it's to protect themselves. And determining when is the right time is always a very difficult decision for sure. I believe we'd consulted, in part, with our Grandma's Primary Doctor, as well as the Head RN at the Assisted Living facility she was living in, before moving her into a more private specalized one, with which I'd spoke.

She'd ended up wandering out in front of the place in the middle or dead of the night, this time of year, sub zero freezing temperatures plus windchill (on top of that). Into the Highway right out in front. So that was kind of the last straw of that! She was, of course, STILL looking for her Husband. Who'd passed, well over a year ago now at this / or that - point. It was a 4-lane 2 each way or direction. So. . . Lucky, I guess, in a sense?~* Good luck though, as I know this one was nearing 90 at that time. But still quite capable & functional.

The other one, closer to 100. Was MUCH MORE RESISTANT - & Stubborn, hesitant. Etc. I'd believed they'd ended up doing more of the Nurses coming to visit from off-site (that being her Home). But, I'm sure No Body is ever Really TRULY Ready - to give up their independence, and to want go into one of those... Some, I'm sure~ but!

 

[1964dodge]

I was sick last week and I hate that I'm (I think) fully recovered now. I think my sickness has its own pros and cons. One of the cons of course, everything hurts. I remember having a terrible terrible headache. I also had a pretty high fever. I was sweating, had a high fever, and that terrible headache. It was a superb combination, as you can imagine. On the other hand, I also felt like dying, but it was great, because I didn't have to do anything. I just had to lay there doing nothing though I felt like I was about to explode. I imagine that's what actual dying/death feels like. Everything is just empty. Nothing. I am finally free. No more emotional pain. But now that I've "come back to life", means that I have to stick to my non-existent routine, which is killing me. Also these toxic people around me, and I still can't find a way out (alive). I hate it. I'm getting really annoyed. That sickness should've killed me. Why am I even still here

you are still here because it's not your time to go yet. i believe with all of my heart that god, the universe or whatever you believe in has a plan for us and we are here for a reason. some people will never find out the reason until we reach it but there is a reason

mike.....

 

[puffymilk]

you are still here because it's not your time to go yet. i believe with all of my heart that god, the universe or whatever you believe in has a plan for us and we are here for a reason. some people will never find out the reason until we reach it but there is a reason

mike.....

Thanks Mike. I'm trying to be patient, I just hope it's worth it.

 

[Angie]

I posted in the petty complaints thread the other night about having to spend the night looking after my grandfather who is evidently succumbing to dementia. But every night since there's been another incident. The night after i posted, he called my dad and dragged him over to Clitheroe at 2:30 in the morning for a problem he'd already resolved just fine on his own. Then last night, he had an actual potentially serious complication, but he didn't call my dad, he just sat there with it for 5 hours until the day nurse turned up.

The man is obviously not fit to be on his own, he's too confused at this point to understand when he should and shouldn't push to get help. But he's insisting he doesn't want full-time nursing staff. And this afternoon, he was supposed to check into a care home for the next couple of weeks, so he could have better support while he still has the catheter in. But apparently he's refused to go, saying he doesn't want to go there while he's still in this mess. The whole point of the care home was to look after him while he's in this mess, so what the fuck does that mean?

It's just so frustrating. He obviously needs at the least an on-call nurse who can help him in the middle of the night, if not a full-time care facility, but he's acting like he's perfectly fine as things are, when he's wasting my dad's time when things are fine and not making use of him when there's a potentially serious problem. It feels like either my dad's gonna burn out, or something's gonna go really wrong, and granddad's gonna get seriously ill or even die. And the people who can make the necessary choice on granddad's behalf live in Cornwall, so they aren't really seeing just how bad he gets at night.

Today's the 19 year anniversary of mum's death, and i just feel completely broken at this point. I just don't have the strength for this. Mum should have been here, she would have seen it all, she'd have the power to make these calls, and she'd know to make the right decision. This whole thing would be so much simpler if she was here. It should have been me that died that day. I wish so badly i could find some way to trade my life for hers. It should've been me.

dealing with family members at your granddad's stage is so heart breaking and nerve wracking, I've been there too

I've no words of wisdom other than be kind to YOU. You are doing the best you can with what you have in a frustrating circumstance.

You know I'm available for a private chat if you ever need one.

Big hugs

 

[KM76710]

Management at work. Them never having to do the work of what our 3rd shift did, mainly on the amount of printing they have no idea of how much and how long it took. The third shift/overnight shift spent 6 - 8 hours printing 40,000 plus pages to distribute before 6:00 am. And if there were any issues with the printing and machine problems extend that time by a few.

They still have no plans to hire anybody and instead push the three left to try and cover what they believe is just a few hours here or there.

 

[AmberMarie]

Management at work. Them never having to do the work of what our 3rd shift did,

oooooooh don't i know it! my GM had to work 3rd shift Sunday night... she tried to call me in late in the evening for the night shift, n i finally told her "No. If i had more advanced notice I could have. i was not going to do that again. It made me too sick last Thursday." i did however tell her i would work Monday night n i did. Luckly the regular gal is no longer sick... so i'm off nights *knocks on wood*

 

[KM76710]

oooooooh don't i know it! my GM had to work 3rd shift Sunday night... she tried to call me in late in the evening for the night shift, n i finally told her "No. If i had more advanced notice I could have. i was not going to do that again. It made me too sick last Thursday." i did however tell her i would work Monday night n i did. Luckly the regular gal is no longer sick... so i'm off nights *knocks on wood*

That is so true about those that don't typically work the off shift, odd hours and days. When they do it can throw them for a complete loop. The smart and good managers DO learn an appreciation for what others do. My first job I did those shifts and working the weekends. Great overtime, then and now both, but it is disorienting to have a routine tossed. Your hours, days and weeks get off especially if there is no consistency.

 

[Neko~boy]

I posted in the petty complaints thread the other night about having to spend the night looking after my grandfather who is evidently succumbing to dementia. But every night since there's been another incident. The night after i posted, he called my dad and dragged him over to Clitheroe at 2:30 in the morning for a problem he'd already resolved just fine on his own. Then last night, he had an actual potentially serious complication, but he didn't call my dad, he just sat there with it for 5 hours until the day nurse turned up.

The man is obviously not fit to be on his own, he's too confused at this point to understand when he should and shouldn't push to get help. But he's insisting he doesn't want full-time nursing staff. And this afternoon, he was supposed to check into a care home for the next couple of weeks, so he could have better support while he still has the catheter in. But apparently he's refused to go, saying he doesn't want to go there while he's still in this mess. The whole point of the care home was to look after him while he's in this mess, so what the fuck does that mean?

It's just so frustrating. He obviously needs at the least an on-call nurse who can help him in the middle of the night, if not a full-time care facility, but he's acting like he's perfectly fine as things are, when he's wasting my dad's time when things are fine and not making use of him when there's a potentially serious problem. It feels like either my dad's gonna burn out, or something's gonna go really wrong, and granddad's gonna get seriously ill or even die. And the people who can make the necessary choice on granddad's behalf live in Cornwall, so they aren't really seeing just how bad he gets at night.

Today's the 19 year anniversary of mum's death, and i just feel completely broken at this point. I just don't have the strength for this. Mum should have been here, she would have seen it all, she'd have the power to make these calls, and she'd know to make the right decision. This whole thing would be so much simpler if she was here. It should have been me that died that day. I wish so badly i could find some way to trade my life for hers. It should've been me.

Can they not make the decision to see he isn't fully capable of making important health decisions on his on, and then have him put into a facility to provide the care he needs, over there?
Here if i am not mistaken, if someone isn't capable of making proper medical choices on their own behalf, there are things in place to provide them that help. In a way it's like being involuntarily committed, but it's for the good of the patient. (My brain isn't working full capacity and i can't remember words or things well)

i thought of you on the day of your mom's anniversary. i am sorry you have so much to go through right now. You're doing really well helping out with your granddad, iknow it hasn't been easy. i know your mother would be extraordinarily proud of you and all you have been doing and accomplishing.

 

[1964dodge]

just read that they could be releasing a new non opioid pain med that actually works. there is only one problem it's for acute pain not chronic pain.

what i'm pissed about is they say opioids aren't effective for chronic pain. i'm on opioids because i have no choice. people wth chronic pain usually only take opioids because they have no choice. opioids are usually a med of last resort as it should be. but guess what happens to chronic pain patients that can't control pain?

i had to go through a test of no opioids for 30 days to make sure i needed them. during that tme my wife held my hand and would say only so many days left. i wanted to go and if my wife wasn't there i would have gone.

so if non opioid meds don't work, and they say opioids don't work ( they do ) then do the research to give pain patients meds that work. i guarantee if they came out with a non opioid that worked i and most chronic pain patients would switch right off.

mike

 

[Windhover]

It should've been me.

I hope your grief can lessen Cynical Goatman, without the loss of any connection to your mom.
Hope it's okay to say this as a person who has a son and a daughter, I think your mom would not have you gone in her place.

Maybe suggest to your dad that he make a (or another) call about your grandfather?



hug

 

[1964dodge]

i am tired of technology. you have to go through all kinds of sh@t just to get a real person to come to the phone, my truck needs a tuneup so instead of 8 spark plugs i need 16 plus the coil packs.

and this damned computer. it got so bad i did a reset to factory for all pograms including windows. only thing is i'm not sure it's the computer because just switched providers last month but the streaming works perfect. everything else isn't too bad but when i come here she still freezes for a bit and sometimes i have to leave and come back. i'm ready to throw this computer under my truck and keep runnung it over until i can smile again lol

mike...

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

i am tired of technology. you have to go through all kinds of sh@t just to get a real person to come to the phone, my truck needs a tuneup so instead of 8 spark plugs i need 16 plus the coil packs.

and this damned computer. it got so bad i did a reset to factory for all pograms including windows. only thing is i'm not sure it's the computer because just switched providers last month but the streaming works perfect. everything else isn't too bad but when i come here she still freezes for a bit and sometimes i have to leave and come back. i'm ready to throw this computer under my truck and keep runnung it over until i can smile again lol

mike...

I work in auto parts and see what parts for newer trucks sell the most, and I am not impressed. They're better in certain ways, but worse in others with the biggest one IMHO being the cost and complexity. In certain ways I admire the simplicity of the '77 Ford I had with the straight six and three on the tree, but not the rust.

As far as computers, they are great when they work but very frustrating when they don't especially at work. And why do they need to do unnecessary updates all the time that cause something else to fail?

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

I hate Sundays. It's just the worst day of the week to me, always has been. Especially when you're alone and don't want to be

 

[Angie]

I received a letter on Saturday from the State of Texas regarding documents they need from me in order to continue paying my Medicare premium, etc.

Problem is the due date is Monday! WTF The letter was dated the 1st but I received it on the 10th.

I was able to upload some of the documents electronically but I have to gather my medical expenses and thats gonna take a few days plus time in the mail.

I am so frustrated! I have to call and speak to a human on Monday to make sure I can get an extension to submit these documents.

GRRRRR

 

[1964dodge]

I hate Sundays. It's just the worst day of the week to me, always has been. Especially when you're alone and don't want to be

i know it's not the same as irl but feel free to talk to me anytime i'm around

mike....

 

[KM76710]

i am tired of technology. you have to go through all kinds of sh@t just to get a real person to come to the phone, my truck needs a tuneup so instead of 8 spark plugs i need 16 plus the coil packs.

and this damned computer. it got so bad i did a reset to factory for all pograms including windows. only thing is i'm not sure it's the computer because just switched providers last month but the streaming works perfect. everything else isn't too bad but when i come here she still freezes for a bit and sometimes i have to leave and come back. i'm ready to throw this computer under my truck and keep runnung it over until i can smile again lol

mike...

Technology especially computers can be frustrating: Your wifi signal conflicts with your current version of your PC OS, please upgrade, we may need to send a tech out between M-4 and between 8:00 am - 5:00 pm so be at home those days and hours, verify you are not a robot by picking out the snowflake hidden in a snow storm and it goes on. LOL Major complaint now for me is the last Winter storm not only burst a pipe but something in the house so there is a leak somewhere and I can find no signs of it such as pooling, dripping and can't tell the sounds of running water with the non stop rain all weekend and pick out the sound, so if found no telling now expensive. I learned about the leak when the septic tank had to be pumped out again and it showed there. Approaching the tipping point cost wise of keeping my third of the property and paying the upkeep or moving to Waco and getting an apartment so I have been reviewing places there the past few months.