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- Thread starter 1964dodge
- Start date
I‘ve said this before but it’s even more true now; if I say I can’t do something, just accept it and move on. Don’t make me explain the various factors that prevent me from doing it, and don’t start an argument over it.
If I say I can’t go to the beach, for example, it’s because I cannot walk on the sand, I need a hard level surface.. I suppose I could walk around the parking lot, but that’s not very fun.
What’s that, there’s a pier and I can enjoy the view from there? Great, except it’s sandy and wet and that’ll make me fall within a few steps.
Take my wheelchair? Do you know how long and how hard I fought to get out of that thing? I’m not getting back into it for “recreation” because that’ll defeat the purpose of leaving the house entirely, and the fact that you’d even bring up the possibility shows that you understand nothing.
Alternatively, you could have just said “okay” when I turned down going there. You know, the same way I do when nobody wants to do the few things I can.
That’s what the word “disabled” means. “Dis” meaning not, and “abled” meaning can do things. That is the reality of my situation; there are things I cannot do. I get that people don’t want to accept that, but how do they think I feel about it?
The difference is I have to accept it. I can’t just walk away from myself in a huff and go back to ignoring my limitations every time things don’t go my way. Believe me, I wish I could.
If there’s things I used to do or places I used to go that I don’t anymore, it’s because I can’t, not because I’ve forgotten. And I’ve put a lot more thought into what I can do than anyone else has.
So if I’m speaking on the subject of myself, what I can or can’t do, just fucking accept it.
If I say I can’t go to the beach, for example, it’s because I cannot walk on the sand, I need a hard level surface.. I suppose I could walk around the parking lot, but that’s not very fun.
What’s that, there’s a pier and I can enjoy the view from there? Great, except it’s sandy and wet and that’ll make me fall within a few steps.
Take my wheelchair? Do you know how long and how hard I fought to get out of that thing? I’m not getting back into it for “recreation” because that’ll defeat the purpose of leaving the house entirely, and the fact that you’d even bring up the possibility shows that you understand nothing.
Alternatively, you could have just said “okay” when I turned down going there. You know, the same way I do when nobody wants to do the few things I can.
That’s what the word “disabled” means. “Dis” meaning not, and “abled” meaning can do things. That is the reality of my situation; there are things I cannot do. I get that people don’t want to accept that, but how do they think I feel about it?
The difference is I have to accept it. I can’t just walk away from myself in a huff and go back to ignoring my limitations every time things don’t go my way. Believe me, I wish I could.
If there’s things I used to do or places I used to go that I don’t anymore, it’s because I can’t, not because I’ve forgotten. And I’ve put a lot more thought into what I can do than anyone else has.
So if I’m speaking on the subject of myself, what I can or can’t do, just fucking accept it.
It's wild to me that some people will argue with the disabling effects of a stroke. It's literally major brain damage. It's like telling Phineas Gage to just pull himself together. I think it's stupid when people argue with other disabled people about what they can do, but someone who's had a stroke makes it especially dumb. Strokes don't fuck around, they're like WMDs for your ability to function. One moment you're fine, the next your ability to get basic things done is one of those shadow imprints on the wall.
For what it's worth, i've been genuinely impressed to hear how well you've been recovering, considering how poorly the medical institutions involved have handled your care. It seems downright miraculous. It sounds like you're fighting like hell to claim back your life, and people absolutely should be willing to meet you where you're at, and participate in the things you can do, and be bloody thankful they can have that much. Ungrateful bunch of tossers, istg.
For what it's worth, i've been genuinely impressed to hear how well you've been recovering, considering how poorly the medical institutions involved have handled your care. It seems downright miraculous. It sounds like you're fighting like hell to claim back your life, and people absolutely should be willing to meet you where you're at, and participate in the things you can do, and be bloody thankful they can have that much. Ungrateful bunch of tossers, istg.
i agree @Lisa the Goatgirl and @Gonz . most disabled people know their limits and what they can reasonably do. it's wrong to try to push people to do things they don't feel safe or comfortable doing. sometimes my kids will invite me places i can't easily do, they know my limitations and offer to help with the wheelchair etc. and i think that's ok because they offer but don't push. i think if relatives or close friends offer but don't push it's ok, that's my opinioin though
mike.....
mike.....
tomorrow is his second check up, the new vet said that enema treatment should be tried first, not surgery and it was successful. Although his diagnosis did say he is a candidate for surgery.
For the past… more than a week I have been giving him medicine, about 5 types, am, noon and night, and now we’re going in his second checkup tomorrow.
I changed their food, all of them, brushed their fur more often, to help with the hairball, and ensure no one’s going to have ckd (although there are factors that they told me that makes that inevitable).
For the past… more than a week I have been giving him medicine, about 5 types, am, noon and night, and now we’re going in his second checkup tomorrow.
I changed their food, all of them, brushed their fur more often, to help with the hairball, and ensure no one’s going to have ckd (although there are factors that they told me that makes that inevitable).
