@toomuchreality - I just wanted to say, I really admire your courage with calling a crisis line, there’s been lotsa times, especially this year, that I have thought about calling one and saying how a part of me kinda hopes I’m gone within a year or 2 because of all the things I feel so deeply afraid of, but I always end up chickening out with it.
I’m sorry the fact that it’s recorded makes it harder for you to say what’s troubling you, that definitely sounds hard. I wouldn’t necessarily be that worried if they decided to call the police on me overall, I mean if a cop showed up at my door cos of what I said to them, it might overwhelm me a bit “at first” but after that, I would just be honest about it all. But ya the small town thing and the gossip would make that harder too for sure. I hope things will get better soon

* hugs * (if you want them, and if not then warm assurances of wishing the best for you)
