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Psychosis | What Is Psychosis? | Signs Of Psychosis

Innocent Forever

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#21
Ah, I see I left out the first and most important part of the plan: the weeks of waffling back and forth over whether or not to actually go through with it.
This made me laugh.
Yup, an essential part of the plan. Well, at least you have your conclusion already, so maybe it'll make the decision making process easier.
I know you're going to go back and forth about it, but when you choose to go ahead, what will make you decide to go ahead?
 
#22
One of two things. Either I’ll mentally prepare myself ‘til I feel confident in my ability to get through the appointments, or I’ll let things get so bad that I go out of desperation because it’s not like things can get any worse. I’m trying for the former (hence all the questions; it’s easier if I have some idea what I’m getting into) but, given my history and habits, the latter seems more likely.
 

Innocent Forever

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#23
One of two things. Either I’ll mentally prepare myself ‘til I feel confident in my ability to get through the appointments, or I’ll let things get so bad that I go out of desperation because it’s not like things can get any worse. I’m trying for the former (hence all the questions; it’s easier if I have some idea what I’m getting into) but, given my history and habits, the latter seems more likely.
Well either way you're preparing yourself. Question is if you can make the desperation before you feel as desperate (I was never able to do that, though I know others who were able to).
I don't think you'll ever fully feel confident, but can you feel confident to take a leap of faith?
 
#24
Never really was the “leap of faith” type. Though I suppose that at some point I’m just going to have to.

And I think part of it is not wanting it to be real, you know? Like, right now, I’m engaging with the idea in a sort of detached way. Kind of like I’m asking myself “what would I do in this situation” and trying to ignore the fact that that situation is exactly where I am. But once I start talking about it with another person (in person), that makes it real and I can’t be detached anymore.

And then there’s the part where I just don’t know how to do stuff like this without my wife. Used to be I’d just bring her with me whenever there was something stressful I had to do. But if I still had her I could convince myself I didn’t need to go in the first place.

That’s all stupid though. I only need to look at the mess I’ve made of my life to see where avoidance will get me. I mean, how much worse am I going to let things get before I do something about it?
 

Innocent Forever

Excellent forever
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#25
Never really was the “leap of faith” type. Though I suppose that at some point I’m just going to have to.

And I think part of it is not wanting it to be real, you know? Like, right now, I’m engaging with the idea in a sort of detached way. Kind of like I’m asking myself “what would I do in this situation” and trying to ignore the fact that that situation is exactly where I am. But once I start talking about it with another person (in person), that makes it real and I can’t be detached anymore.

And then there’s the part where I just don’t know how to do stuff like this without my wife. Used to be I’d just bring her with me whenever there was something stressful I had to do. But if I still had her I could convince myself I didn’t need to go in the first place.

That’s all stupid though. I only need to look at the mess I’ve made of my life to see where avoidance will get me. I mean, how much worse am I going to let things get before I do something about it?
Sending strength your way...
How far? Well, I went until I had the means to end it before I got help. Can't tell you what your bottom would be...
 
#28
@Gonz did you ever get help in the end?
I haven’t yet. I’ve been questioning what I was told at that appointment, the accuracy of the assessment. Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely something wrong, just not quite sure that guy had it right. I need a better idea of what’s actually going on in my head before I really start because talking to those people takes a lot out of me. It takes a lot of effort just to go outside or to make a phone call. Have to suppress the anxiety, have to push down the thoughts. And talking to those people... it’s like those interactions are custom designed to set off every sort of alarm in my head all telling me “Shut up! You can’t tell people these things!” Because I’m pretty sure the ideas I have are wrong but, if they’re not, then this is the worst thing I could be doing. I think I can just barely do it, maybe, if I can find people who really know what they’re doing. But what I can’t do is spend years and years dicking around chasing dead end after dead end while they try to figure out what’s wrong and what’s going to help.
 

Stijn

Innerceptor
#30
I was recently "diagnosed" as having major depression with psychotic features. Specifically, I have paranoid delusions that vary in intensity depending on my emotional state. I'll have stretches where I am aware that these beliefs are false and can dismiss the thoughts with varying degrees of ease. And stretches, when I am having a depressive episode (which have become more frequent, due to life events), where those thoughts and beliefs control my life and I cannot be convinced that they are not true. Most of the time I am somewhere in between; questioning the beliefs, but being unable to put them aside entirely.

I put diagnosed in quotes because I was referred to have a physical to rule out any medical causes before that diagnosis was made official, and I chose to not go to the physical and not to pursue treatment for the time being because, frankly, this scares the hell out of me and avoidance has always been my coping mechanism of choice. But I don't think that is going to work in the long term.

So I wanted to ask, for those who've dealt with something similar, what does treatment look like? What form does it take? Medication, obviously, but what are the side effects? Or are there effective treatments that don't involve being medicated? Is there any kind of talk therapy? And what does that consist of? And, if so, how do I find someone competent? I know I may have to see several to find a good fit. But I've seen a number of therapists in the past, none of whom were helpful, and I just don't have it in me to try too many more times, so any advice on that would be extra helpful.

I'm sorry, I know this is a lot of questions and I don't expect anyone to be able to answer all of it, but any insight would be very much appreciated.
Hi Gonz,

I suggest to find a psychiatrist who can help you with medication and further treatment if necessary and/or referal to a therapist. You said you've been "diagnosed" so I think you've already consulted one... you just didn't do the follow-up. I don't know what kind of medication the psychiatrist will prescribe but I know there are always gonna be some side-effects... But they can also help you with your condition. I think it's up to you if you want to do it or not but if you can't find a good therapist and your situation isn't getting any better or only worsening, well, what do you have to lose?

I hope you will find some form of treatment that suits you the best. You can also PM me if you just want to talk a little more about what you are experiencing and how to cope with it. Good luck!
 
#31
@Gonz what is it that you doubt about what the doc said in the appt? Xx
The “diagnosis.” He described the ideas I have as delusions and, upon further reflection and examination, I’m not sure they’d qualify as such. I mean part of the definition of a delusion is that the person’s belief in it is unshakeable, and that is not the case with me; I have long stretches (most of the time, really) where I am aware that those ideas are untrue. They’re still present and still cause anxiety and I still have to arrange my life around them to a certain degree, but I am aware they are untrue. The times when I am convinced they must be true are the exception rather than the rule.
 

Butterfly

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#32
@Gonz not necessarily. You can believe things perhaps at the time then look back a bit later on and realise that actually it’s not real.

I think it depends on what you are actually experiencing and what these “delusions” are. It’s possible they are fuelled by anxiety and not really psychosis.

There’s also something called pseudo hallucinations. So basically you experience something say visual or hear a voice but you know it’s not real.
 
#33
I think it depends on what you are actually experiencing and what these “delusions” are. It’s possible they are fuelled by anxiety and not really psychosis.
Yeah, see, that’s what I mean. There’s so many things that could be wrong, all of which mean different things. And I get that finding the right treatment involves trial and error, but that’s exactly what I can’t handle. Been told to just do it anyway, that things can’t get worse. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that things can always get worse. Especially when just the bare minimum human contact necessary to begin is so anxiety/paranoia-inducing.
 

Butterfly

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#34
Yeah, see, that’s what I mean. There’s so many things that could be wrong, all of which mean different things. And I get that finding the right treatment involves trial and error, but that’s exactly what I can’t handle. Been told to just do it anyway, that things can’t get worse. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that things can always get worse. Especially when just the bare minimum human contact necessary to begin is so anxiety/paranoia-inducing.
I get that. But if you don't go back for the help, then things won't change or get better. Unfortunately psychiatry is a lot of trial and error and doctors base their treatment plans on what we tell them. A lot of meds used for psychosis can actually help with depression, anxiety and anxiety fuelled paranoia. A lot of psychiatric meds have many different purposes and effects on people. Sometimes things have to be ruled out before a proper diagnosis can be made.
 
#35
I get that. But if you don't go back for the help, then things won't change or get better. Unfortunately psychiatry is a lot of trial and error and doctors base their treatment plans on what we tell them. A lot of meds used for psychosis can actually help with depression, anxiety and anxiety fuelled paranoia. A lot of psychiatric meds have many different purposes and effects on people. Sometimes things have to be ruled out before a proper diagnosis can be made.
You’re not wrong, I just can’t seem to get past all the fear and the anxiety. I mean I can feel it coming on stronger and stronger whenever I try to engage with that process on even the most basic level. Google local professionals: a mild sense of impending doom. Make a list of those who take my insurance: getting a bit sweaty. Narrow it down to two or three who I think I might be competent: now my heart is pounding. Pick up the phone to make an appointment: bam, panic attack.

And if, at any point, I back off and say “fuck it, I’ll deal with that another time” I can feel that extra anxiety/fear just immediately melt away.

And when I step back and look at it objectively (which I can never fully do) it’s almost absurd how my specific fears seem like they’re in place for the express purpose of preventing me from getting help.
 

Butterfly

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#36
You’re not wrong, I just can’t seem to get past all the fear and the anxiety. I mean I can feel it coming on stronger and stronger whenever I try to engage with that process on even the most basic level. Google local professionals: a mild sense of impending doom. Make a list of those who take my insurance: getting a bit sweaty. Narrow it down to two or three who I think I might be competent: now my heart is pounding. Pick up the phone to make an appointment: bam, panic attack.

And if, at any point, I back off and say “fuck it, I’ll deal with that another time” I can feel that extra anxiety/fear just immediately melt away.

And when I step back and look at it objectively (which I can never fully do) it’s almost absurd how my specific fears seem like they’re in place for the express purpose of preventing me from getting help.

Honestly, the best way to conquer anxiety is to do whatever it is that makes you anxious. The more you procrastinate, the harder it will be. Yes, doing whatever makes you anxious will make you feel terrible, but once it’s done, it’s done, then you’ll wonder why you made such a big deal about it in the first place and will feel relief, will make you feel better and the next time you have to do it, you’ve got evidence that nothing terrible happened, nobody died etc. It eventually gets easier x
 

bethygal83

Well-Known Member
#37
I hear voices sometimes it only happens like once a month. It’s scary as hell though and sometimes get depressed. I was symptom free until a few days ago. I’m currently on seroquel at nighttime which makes me sleepy. My doctor wants to try Vraylar in the mornings if that don’t work she is going to try 200mg if seroquel. I hope that the medicine starts working it feels like I’m slowly losing reality everyday and I am fully aware of it.
 

Butterfly

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#38
I hear voices sometimes it only happens like once a month. It’s scary as hell though and sometimes get depressed. I was symptom free until a few days ago. I’m currently on seroquel at nighttime which makes me sleepy. My doctor wants to try Vraylar in the mornings if that don’t work she is going to try 200mg if seroquel. I hope that the medicine starts working it feels like I’m slowly losing reality everyday and I am fully aware of it.

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m experiencing some nasty voices at the moment. Currently on 600mg of seroquel. Hoping it starts to work soon x
 

bethygal83

Well-Known Member
#39
I’m sorry to hear that. I’m experiencing some nasty voices at the moment. Currently on 600mg of seroquel. Hoping it starts to work soon x
Wow that is a lot of seroquel. does it make you sleepy? I’m on 100 mg and it makes me very sedated. She wanted to put me on 200 mg at bed but I get restless leg. I get it at 100 mg as well. Can’t imagine being on that much. Hoping the vraylar works currently waiting on insurance to approve it.
 

Butterfly

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#40
Wow that is a lot of seroquel. does it make you sleepy? I’m on 100 mg and it makes me very sedated. She wanted to put me on 200 mg at bed but I get restless leg. I get it at 100 mg as well. Can’t imagine being on that much. Hoping the vraylar works currently waiting on insurance to approve it.
It made me sleepy in the mornings to begin with but I’m getting used to it now.
 

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