I was recently "diagnosed" as having major depression with psychotic features. Specifically, I have paranoid delusions that vary in intensity depending on my emotional state. I'll have stretches where I am aware that these beliefs are false and can dismiss the thoughts with varying degrees of ease. And stretches, when I am having a depressive episode (which have become more frequent, due to life events), where those thoughts and beliefs control my life and I cannot be convinced that they are not true. Most of the time I am somewhere in between; questioning the beliefs, but being unable to put them aside entirely.
I put diagnosed in quotes because I was referred to have a physical to rule out any medical causes before that diagnosis was made official, and I chose to not go to the physical and not to pursue treatment for the time being because, frankly, this scares the hell out of me and avoidance has always been my coping mechanism of choice. But I don't think that is going to work in the long term.
So I wanted to ask, for those who've dealt with something similar, what does treatment look like? What form does it take? Medication, obviously, but what are the side effects? Or are there effective treatments that don't involve being medicated? Is there any kind of talk therapy? And what does that consist of? And, if so, how do I find someone competent? I know I may have to see several to find a good fit. But I've seen a number of therapists in the past, none of whom were helpful, and I just don't have it in me to try too many more times, so any advice on that would be extra helpful.
I'm sorry, I know this is a lot of questions and I don't expect anyone to be able to answer all of it, but any insight would be very much appreciated.