Question about my sexuality

[Unbroken]

I'm 20 years old and I have an ugly body with a boring personality my problem is I think I have a high sex drive which caused me to turn into a porn addict which I hate I hate that I'm a porn addict and I have a addiction to masturbation and it's just so awful.
My problem is I never had a guy and now I feel like I can't never have one unless I do my long list of plastic surgery
You know I can find a boyfriend and have sex with him but that wouldn't work for me because I like a long term r

 

[Unbroken]

relationship and I feel like with my level of unatttractiveness i can never have a long term relationship.
My prospective is I find a guy we have sex and then he ditch me because I'm not attractive and that will drive me to suicide because I get attached deeply
NOW my problem is how to manage my drive?
And instead put my energy on gaining money in order to have a plastic surgery??
BTW I'm not looking forward for sexting or sth I'm just asking if anyone have the same issue please give me some solutions

 

[damonlover16_99]

well addiction is addiction, it's a way of avoiding the core pain, no matter what the addiction. And by the way there's no shame in it, you're simply trying to feel good, nothing wrong with that. Do you have a therapist you see? Trying to quit any addiction on your own is hard

 

[Unbroken]

well addiction is addiction, it's a way of avoiding the core pain, no matter what the addiction. And by the way there's no shame in it, you're simply trying to feel good, nothing wrong with that. Do you have a therapist you see? Trying to quit any addiction on your own is hard

Thanks for your time.well yes it makes me feel better but my problem is I want to channel my energy into my work and my colleague degree in this way Ill be happier and I can gain money for plastic surgery
I once went to a psychiatrist and he was a Male as I am painfully shy I didn't tell him about this
Btw I have depression and he subscribed me antidepressants and those pill made me a way worse because I watched more and more porn videos and masturbation was out of control
That is one of the reason I try to avoid antidepressants

 

[damonlover16_99]

I would also really recommend exercising if you want to channel it. But I have found therapy to be really helpful, just saying. It's really hard doing it all alone. Can you tell me something about yourself you like?

 

[sinking_ship]

Well there are 2 problems here.
For an addiction I agree with @damonlover16_99 that a therapist would help in figuring out how to conquer it. I’m surprised actually that antidepressants made it worse - many of them are known to lower sex drive as a side effect. But therapy, not meds, is what would help addiction I think.

The other problem is your self image, another thing you could/should work on if you go to therapy. I highly doubt that you are as unattractive as you feel you are. Even if you’re not conventionally attractive, there is always going to be someone who you are their type. And plenty of guys would want a relationship first and be attracted because of your personality. Looks aren’t everything. The older you get the more you and the people around you realize that.

 

[Unbroken]

I would also really recommend exercising if you want to channel it. But I have found therapy to be really helpful, just saying. It's really hard doing it all alone. Can you tell me something about yourself you like?

I once went to gym as I have this ugly body everyone stared at me and I didn't like it.
I love 60-70-80 music doesn't matter the genre and I love movies and I love real crime stories I watch lots of documentaries about that that's all rest of the day I'm watching porn and models and stuff
Boringgggggggggghhghhh

 

[damonlover16_99]

I once went to gym as I have this ugly body everyone stared at me and I didn't like it.
I love 60-70-80 music doesn't matter the genre and I love movies and I love real crime stories I watch lots of documentaries about that that's all rest of the day I'm watching porn and models and stuff
Boringgggggggggghhghhh

Do you have a favorite movie?

 

[Unbroken]

Well there are 2 problems here.
For an addiction I agree with @damonlover16_99 that a therapist would help in figuring out how to conquer it. I’m surprised actually that antidepressants made it worse - many of them are known to lower sex drive as a side effect. But therapy, not meds, is what would help addiction I think.

The other problem is your self image, another thing you could/should work on if you go to therapy. I highly doubt that you are as unattractive as you feel you are. Even if you’re not conventionally attractive, there is always going to be someone who you are their type. And plenty of guys would want a relationship first and be attracted because of your personality. Looks aren’t everything. The older you get the more you and the people around you realize that.

Thanks for you time.my self image shattered a very long time ago when I was constantly bullied and it leaves scar on me that would never heal.
I dont think any guy ever want a type of girl like me
Yes looks arent everything if you have that specific type of personality all guys want which I dont have

 

[Unbroken]

Do you have a favorite movie?

Choosing a favourite is very hard
But I say I'm into Stanley Kubrick's movies the most like clockwork orange and shining
And Hitchcock is great too like rear window hmmmmm
Fight club,7,shawshank redemption one flew over coco nest are just great
and I love classical movies I know it may sound a bit boring but that's just me
I adore James Stewart and vivien leigh

 

[damonlover16_99]

Choosing a favourite is very hard
But I say I'm into Stanley Kubrick's movies the most like clockwork orange and shining
And Hitchcock is great too like rear window hmmmmm
Fight club,7,shawshank redemption one flew over coco nest are just great
and I love classical movies I know it may sound a bit boring but that's just me
I adore James Stewart and vivien leigh

Wow you are such an old soul, I love it. Fight Club, Shawshank and coco nest are amazzzingggg. Never seen any stanley kubrick movies. Now i mostly watch mushy coming of age movies

 

[Unbroken]

Wow you are such an old soul, I love it. Fight Club, Shawshank and coco nest are amazzzingggg. Never seen any stanley kubrick movies. Now i mostly watch mushy coming of age movies

Hahaha😅😅😅😅😅 yes I watch old movies listen to old songs I'm listening to clash and classic Judas priest and stooges in 2019😅😅😅
Ohhhhh I'm so happy you watched this.around me no one like this kind of movie

 

[sinking_ship]

Thanks for you time.my self image shattered a very long time ago when I was constantly bullied and it leaves scar on me that would never heal.
I dont think any guy ever want a type of girl like me
Yes looks arent everything if you have that specific type of personality all guys want which I dont have

There is no one personality type all guys want. They are all separate people. I’m sorry you have been bullied so much to crush your self esteem so badly. But I do think you can heal. It just takes work and time.

Choosing a favourite is very hard
But I say I'm into Stanley Kubrick's movies the most like clockwork orange and shining
And Hitchcock is great too like rear window hmmmmm
Fight club,7,shawshank redemption one flew over coco nest are just great
and I love classical movies I know it may sound a bit boring but that's just me
I adore James Stewart and vivien leigh

Nothing boring about that, those are some great choices. I was super excited to see the set from Psycho on a tour of the Universal lot a couple weeks ago.

 

[Unbroken]

There is no one personality type all guys want. They are all separate people. I’m sorry you have been bullied so much to crush your self esteem so badly. But I do think you can heal. It just takes work and time.



Nothing boring about that, those are some great choices. I was super excited to see the set from Psycho on a tour of the Universal lot a couple weeks ago.

Uhhhhhh psycho is just one of my very favourite one I love the character norman bates although he was evil😶

 

[sinking_ship]

Uhhhhhh psycho is just one of my very favourite one I love the character norman bates although he was evil😶

So good, right? Have you watched the show Bates Motel?

 

[Unbroken]

So good, right? Have you watched the show Bates Motel?

Noi never watched it but I think I heard the name
What is it about??

 

[sinking_ship]

Noi never watched it but I think I heard the name
What is it about??

It takes place when Norman is a teenager and him and his mom have just moved to the motel. It’s not the same chronology as the original movies but it’s very well done.

 

[Petal]

I'm curious, did you have a bad experience in your past or any trauma to your body? Did something trigger you to feel this way?

 

[Unbroken]

It takes place when Norman is a teenager and him and his mom have just moved to the motel. It’s not the same chronology as the original movies but it’s very well done.

Sounds interesting

 

[Unbroken]

I'm curious, did you have a bad experience in your past or any trauma to your body? Did something trigger you to feel this way?

Yes it happens every day.
All girls around me gloat over hom much their boyfriend love their curves
and I am always bieng bullied for my curveless small body whicb I hate