Rate yourself REALISTICALLY!

[Tana]

Make sure you don't answer this while you know your perception of yourself is totally deluded.
Also, be completely honest, cling to your self-awareness, social and otherwise, to be as precise as possible. DON'T put yourself down, and even if you spot/admit to some flaws in some areas, understand that It's not the end of the world, and maybe even consider how you can fix it.

Here are some ideas on where to rate yourself in...(You don't need to go 1-10, Just describe how you see yourself in it, and how much this *point* actually means to you, perhaps).

1. Physical appearance.
2. Intelligence.
3. Being a "good" person.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general).
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you).
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you).

You COULD also type down what you think in depths of depression, then type it realistically as well, for an exercise and compression.

 

[Tana]

While overly negative, perhaps...:

1. Physical appearance. (Don't care much at this point, but when I'm feeling like sh** the mirror reflection looks a lot uglier as well. There is actually a scientific reason for that, though...ah, also, I really worry about standing out..either in a good or the bad way. I don't put makeup on, but I'm uncomfortable going out with greasy hair as well. I just want to stay in the "decent"/"nobody cares" zone).
2. Intelligence. (I sometimes think of myself as defective, and downright question if I'm actually so retarded, I don't even realise it, cannot comprehend the depts on it (dunning-kruger effect)...it has made me want to commit suicide, even more, so yeah, I guess this point does matter to me).
3. Being a "good" person. (When I'm upset, I think I'm terrible, I think of all the bad things I did, and think I deserve to be miserable. I also hate myself for having certain thoughts/feelings which are negatively landed on others and think/"know" that If I'd say it out loud everyone would be annoyed/grossed out by me. This point matters, even if being "good" is ever-changing and very much so up for debate.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general). When I'm upset, I think I'm just plain weird, too weird, crazy, evil, arrogant, delusionally thinking good of myself, people just hang out with me out of pity/obligation, and I'm not even fun anymore, and the only reason I had had more of a social life before was because I was not depressed, and was kind of energetic/trying to be funny (amusing basically). Of course, it matters.
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future. Haha....
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you). Writing...everything sucks, the heck am I thinking...
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you). Being funny. No, not even funny. How delusional.

More realistically, perhaps...:

1. Physical appearance. Won't get too much into this one, but I have enough evidence to believe I don't actually stand out, especially not in a negative way. I'm no model but, thank god. And I'm thankful I don't have many flaws in this area (that would be very visible).
2. Intelligence. I have quite a few flaws which could be related to this area...I can be easily distracted in the physical world, drift into thought/daydreams etc...my focus is not great, which I hate myself for, and I'm not as knowledgeable about things "normal" people are...However, I think I'm curious (about things and people) and open-minded, and think/consider/reevaluate a lot, considering my own thoughts and opinions....so I have the potential to be "smart" in some ways at least...though, of course, there are things that can't be changed.
3. Being a "good" person. Depends who's asking...I've acted pretty shittily towards some people, at certain times, but realistically speaking, I don't think they care right now...twas' a long time ago....plus, people did way worse to me, and I forgive them. I don't think I should be viewing myself as "bad" simply based on how I feel/think at certain times which makes me feel bad...I can only help how I act/react, for now. Plus, these outbursts, I usually find later I didn't even mean it, anyway. I'm just miserable, and at times, it makes me angry. I'm still pretty sure people don't have a good opinion of you when you say certain things you're thinking about that are overly negative towards others. But they have the right to that, and I wouldn't pin me as evil for it.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general). ^ On this one point, it's really not likeable to say bad things. Also being overly arrogant. Or just plain confident/ (supposedly "self-aware"?) at times...I noticed a lot of people (including myself on occasion, to be genuine) dislike it when you think too positively about yourself. Besides thinking the opposite of you though, it could also be envy or a wish for the same level of self-assurance. Some people never wanted to hang out more after meeting me...it's true I'm "weird", overly anxious and can come off as ...well "off" the first time especially, but for those who stuck by, I have evidence to believe I was funny and amusing, could give good advice, and was fun/interesting enough to debate/philosophies with. The reason why we're not hanging out as much...well, besides other things, I think there's just not much new to me, and I don't have much more to say...which is natural, I think.
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future. I wish I was, and I had many ambitious, still do to a point, but I'm not driven and I'm not sure if I can push it trough and make a good future...even realistically speaking (or what I think is "realistically" speaking).
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you). Writing. I still have good ideas, imagination, but yeah, English isn't even my first language and I write in it. It's not "perfect", but if I got myself a native editor I think I could make something worthwhile, which some people could enjoy.
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you). Being funny? I can be for sure. Can be a hit or a miss, or a copy/paste reference. It doesn't matter as long as someone laughs more then stares in shock, lol.

 

[Walker]

Make sure you don't answer this while you know your perception of yourself is totally deluded.

Everyone here is on a suicide site, you're never going to get "real" answers. People are already sitting on shit views of themselves overall (most people, not just here) so asking here is just asking people for inaccurate representation and then others are going to come along to "correct" that. "Oh no, you are not xyz thing, dont say that"...

 

[Tana]

Everyone here is on a suicide site, you're never going to get "real" answers. People are already sitting on shit views of themselves overall (most people, not just here) so asking here is just asking people for inaccurate representation and then others are going to come along to "correct" that. "Oh no, you are not xyz thing, dont say that"...

Yeah, but you can see it more accurately if you take a pause from it, and try? Sorry...Maybe I'm missing something, and am not on the same level or..idk... :/

 

[roryandlola]

I totally take onboard what @Walker has just said and I am highly sensitive of criticism of how I look......but hopefully this makes you smile. I couldn't take offence with this as it made me laugh. I am pretty short 5ft 1 and totally overweight and I got told I look like the ghost out of 'ghostbusters' tbf I was wearing a white jacket and ive got light coloured hair!!! I hope this makes you smile especially if you are struggling today xx

 

[Walker]

I got told I look like the ghost out of 'ghostbusters' tbf I was wearing a white jacket and ive got light coloured hair!!!

Well never heard that before. Points for creativity!

 

[Auri]

I think to make it realistic, you need to write "rate yourself OPTIMISTICALLY, meaning remove all the negative bullshit and everything you know people won't agree with". *bleh

 

[Auri]

Yeah, but you can see it more accurately if you take a pause from it, and try? Sorry...Maybe I'm missing something, and am not on the same level or..idk... :/

You're on a healthier level than a lot of people here, that is great, don't change that. But realistically, the word "realistically" is only used by people who mean pessimistic but found a way to justify that, usually very low self-esteem. What usually works for them is, as I said, to point out the positive things only, which is the closest to realistic as they will get.

 

[Weathernerd12]

1. Fugly
2. As stupid as a rock.
3. Horrible person
4. Shit personality
5. No Ambition
6. Terrible at everything
7. *draws a blank*

Oh wait, shit, I was supposed to give a non-delusional answer...

In that case...

1. Well, I'm not the best looking person in the world, probably average, I guess. I look a bit younger than I really am, which throws people off, but overall, I look okay.

2. While there might be some areas where I probably feel as stupid as a rock when trying to think through something, but I'm good at researching things and will get to the root of something I don't know much about or misunderstand eventually. Due to my fascination of the weather, I am knowledgeable about a lot of things related to severe weather. I don't know what my actual IQ is, but I rate my own intelligence according to how well I understand the things that fascinate me.

If other people think I'm stupid for not understanding something they are interested in, then they can stuff their "I know more than you" attitude where the sun doesn't shine.

3. Even though there are times when I have turned off my empathy (or my brain did it for me) most of the time I have it and I want to help others most of the time and can feel their pain when they have it and their happiness rubs off on me sometimes when they are experiencing that as well. Does that make me a good person? Maybe.

4. I think people like the fact that I am willing to help when I can and they often appreciate my sense of humor (I can mold it to the situation and make them laugh if they are feeling bad). I'd say my personality is pretty likeable.

5. Someday, I would love to be a meteorologist, but I often struggle to be motivated to achieve that goal. At the moment, I'm trying to work as hard as I can so that I can pay for the education I need, without resorting to taking loans to pay for everything.

6. I'm good at learning about things. When I feel like I want to put in the effort, I can learn new things very quickly. I might struggle with some things, that is a given, but I do my best.

7. My sense of humor is a characteristic that I am glad to have. Sometimes it helps when I'm going through a hard time to turn everything into a joke. It doesn't always work, but it can be very helpful when it does.

 

[Tana]

I mean, there are thoughts and feelings we get, right?
But then there's how it "more likely" looks like, more objectively...does this not make sense to you guys? XD

I mean...trying to piece it together more logically...trying. XD ...eh, now I wonder If I failed at it...confusing what @Walker said...as though it can't be done at all? Isn't it kind of like..CBT or what's it called...?

 

[Tana]

1. Fugly
2. As stupid as a rock.
3. Horrible person
4. Shit personality
5. No Ambition
6. Terrible at everything
7. *draws a blank*

Oh wait, shit, I was supposed to give a non-delusional answer...

In that case...

1. Well, I'm not the best looking person in the world, probably average, I guess. I look a bit younger than I really am, which throws people off, but overall, I look okay.

2. While there might be some areas where I probably feel as stupid as a rock when trying to think through something, but I'm good at researching things and will get to the root of something I don't know much about or misunderstand eventually. Due to my fascination of the weather, I am knowledgeable about a lot of things related to severe weather. I don't know what my actual IQ is, but I rate my own intelligence according to how well I understand the things that fascinate me.

If other people think I'm stupid for not understanding something they are interested in, then they can stuff their "I know more than you" attitude where the sun doesn't shine.

3. Even though there are times when I have turned off my empathy (or my brain did it for me) most of the time I have it and I want to help others most of the time and can feel their pain when they have it and their happiness rubs off on me sometimes when they are experiencing that as well. Does that make me a good person? Maybe.

4. I think people like the fact that I am willing to help when I can and they often appreciate my sense of humor (I can mold it to the situation and make them laugh if they are feeling bad). I'd say my personality is pretty likeable.

5. Someday, I would love to be a meteorologist, but I often struggle to be motivated to achieve that goal. At the moment, I'm trying to work as hard as I can so that I can pay for the education I need, without resorting to taking loans to pay for everything.

6. I'm good at learning about things. When I feel like I want to put in the effort, I can learn new things very quickly. I might struggle with some things, that is a given, but I do my best.

7. My sense of humor is a characteristic that I am glad to have. Sometimes it helps when I'm going through a hard time to turn everything into a joke. It doesn't always work, but it can be very helpful when it does.

Great job!

 

[Auri]

I mean, there are thoughts and feelings we get, right?
But then there's how it "more likely" looks like, more objectively...does this not make sense to you guys? XD

I mean...trying to piece it together more logically...trying. XD ...eh, now I wonder If I failed at it...confusing what @Walker said...as though it can't be done at all? Isn't it kind of like..CBT or what's it called...?

It makes perfect sense to me. I think the idea is excellent, we'll see how it goes for people. ^^

 

[Aurelia]

Make sure you don't answer this while you know your perception of yourself is totally deluded.
Also, be completely honest, cling to your self-awareness, social and otherwise, to be as precise as possible. DON'T put yourself down, and even if you spot/admit to some flaws in some areas, understand that It's not the end of the world, and maybe even consider how you can fix it.

Here are some ideas on where to rate yourself in...(You don't need to go 1-10, Just describe how you see yourself in it, and how much this *point* actually means to you, perhaps).

1. Physical appearance.
2. Intelligence.
3. Being a "good" person.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general).
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you).
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you).

You COULD also type down what you think in depths of depression, then type it realistically as well, for an exercise and compression.

Lol. This is going to be difficult trying to do this realistically and not be biased toward myself, but I'll give it a shot.

1. I guess I'll base this one on what I think others would rate me as...I'll go with a 7, I guess.
2. To be honest, compared to all the knowledge this world has to offer, none of us really know shit -- pretty much the equivalent of a grain of sand on the beach. But compared to most people, or perhaps the average person, I should say, I give myself an 8 on this one.
3. I truly don't think that I'm good or bad, as I don't believe in good and bad to begin with. All of us have done both "good" and "bad" things, but judging our actions as either or is merely an opinion and, I think, a huge grey area. It's impossible to judge what's good and bad because everyone has different standards for what good and bad is. True, perhaps a majority of people are in a agreement on certain things being good and bad, but I'm not the majority, so...😉 Bottom line is, I'm neither. Just another human trying to do the best they can.
4. Most people tend to like me once they get to know me, even people I don't have much in common with (though, I can't say that the feeling is mutual there...) But before they get to know me, they typically think I'm unapproachable and perhaps even an antisocial bitch, lol. Or some may think I'm just shy and quiet. But anyway, regardless of that, my actual personality is probably a 9. Not everyone I meet thinks so, of course, but I think so, and some others tend to think so (the ones that I give a chance to get to know me, anyway. But to be realistic, that's not a high percentage of people...still, quality over quantity).
5. Lol. Probably like a 3. I can be very driven and ambitious, but it typically doesn't last long enough to get things done. :P
6. I'm good at analyzing things, I suppose. But I also overanalyze, and ot sometimes ends up working against me, so I don't know.
7. A characteristic...I suppose we'll go with perfectionism. But again, that can be both beneficial and not so beneficial.

 

[dandelions]

Make sure you don't answer this while you know your perception of yourself is totally deluded.
Also, be completely honest, cling to your self-awareness, social and otherwise, to be as precise as possible. DON'T put yourself down, and even if you spot/admit to some flaws in some areas, understand that It's not the end of the world, and maybe even consider how you can fix it.

Here are some ideas on where to rate yourself in...(You don't need to go 1-10, Just describe how you see yourself in it, and how much this *point* actually means to you, perhaps).

1. Physical appearance.
2. Intelligence.
3. Being a "good" person.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general).
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you).
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you).

You COULD also type down what you think in depths of depression, then type it realistically as well, for an exercise and compression.

Wondering if i can actually do this...

so i’lll try

1. Physical appearance. so so at best. i see things i dont like but they don’t destroy me.
2. Intelligence. so bleeping intelligent that it is simply no good. it accomplishes nothing for me that turns out satisfying. it only serves to point out all my faults.
3. Being a "good" person. i am good, i care about people and the world. i want to make the world a better place and i love the concept of friendship and love.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general). not very likeable.
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future. seems that i am both driven and ambitious and should have/shoud have had a great future but somehow i am just always derailed.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you). i’m good at art and writing and poetry and cooking and making sushi and things that require skilled hands and i am resourceful. seems like i have all the ingredients but lack the mixing bowl
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you). maybe resourceful fits in here better and then being artistic too. i also love music.

i think my self evaluation is fairly much the same when feeling awful or good. presently i felt awful yesterday and have not gotten much better yet today - though a little.

hey, i noticed the word delusional being used above and i think i want to use it too. they suggest i am delusional because i claim to have a demon living inside. i actually am intellectualizing when i say that and thus think i must be lightyears ahead - intellectually - of those trying to treat me. that is a feature of me that actually delights me and i really do believe it. however i also do really think that there is something definitely not me that lives in me that is intent on destroying me. when i express this to my mental healthcare help this is when the feel the most that i am delustional. but being a rational person, i find that i have to agree with them. but look at this. if i can be rational about this, how delusional can i be? is this what they call quandary? this confuses me and i don’t know the answer but i get upset when the reaction by my help is to just give me meds. what do you think?


hey thanks someone, this is a great thread!!!

 

[Tana]

Wondering if i can actually do this...

so i’lll try

1. Physical appearance. so so at best. i see things i dont like but they don’t destroy me.
2. Intelligence. so bleeping intelligent that it is simply no good. it accomplishes nothing for me that turns out satisfying. it only serves to point out all my faults.
3. Being a "good" person. i am good, i care about people and the world. i want to make the world a better place and i love the concept of friendship and love.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general). not very likeable.
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future. seems that i am both driven and ambitious and should have/shoud have had a great future but somehow i am just always derailed.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you). i’m good at art and writing and poetry and cooking and making sushi and things that require skilled hands and i am resourceful. seems like i have all the ingredients but lack the mixing bowl
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you). maybe resourceful fits in here better and then being artistic too. i also love music.

i think my self evaluation is fairly much the same when feeling awful or good. presently i felt awful yesterday and have not gotten much better yet today - though a little.

hey, i noticed the word delusional being used above and i think i want to use it too. they suggest i am delusional because i claim to have a demon living inside. i actually am intellectualizing when i say that and thus think i must be lightyears ahead - intellectually - of those trying to treat me. that is a feature of me that actually delights me and i really do believe it. however i also do really think that there is something definitely not me that lives in me that is intent on destroying me. when i express this to my mental healthcare help this is when the feel the most that i am delustional. but being a rational person, i find that i have to agree with them. but look at this. if i can be rational about this, how delusional can i be? is this what they call quandary? this confuses me and i don’t know the answer but i get upset when the reaction by my help is to just give me meds. what do you think?


hey thanks someone, this is a great thread!!!

So, there's a reason why I asked you to be detailed.
Why do you think you're...let's say unlikable? And where's your proof? Also, are you sure ALL of your characteristics are simply unlikable?

Well, what's the logic behind the demon? Or anything inside of you that is destroying you? Do you mean you are receiving pains that make you think that or...? I'm curious as to what'd make you think that.

I'll probably have to agree with your psychiatrist, that in that specific case, you weren't seeing the reality of things.
Which is not to say, you can't see anything rationally. I have delusions on certain things as well, particularly regarding myself or how others feel about me. When this happens, and others can point it out, I also know it's rational to agree.

Medication can help, I'd take it.
Thanks for answering, I hope it was a good exercice.

 

[dandelions]

to answer you followup questions @someone123

So, there's a reason why I asked you to be detailed.
Why do you think you're...let's say unlikable? the reason is as follows: i have no friends. people call me interesting and i’ve only been able to gather that that means being of interest. it sounds nice but also means that entering the realm of being a friend is not necessary for the person meeting me. when i try, i feel as if i’m being ignored or rejected. that has been very consistent throughout my life.

And where's your proof? Also, are you sure ALL of your characteristics are simply unlikable? my proof is the absence of friendship even with having tried numerous times over many years. and no, i think my characteristics are very likeable but just not as part of the combination that makes up me. i believe i have many likable charactaristis that just turn out to be not needed at the important moment when friendship might be otherwise considered.

Well, what's the logic behind the demon? my demon, which i call hijacker (gender non-specific) claims to have been a wandering spirit of the sort that needs “nourishment” of sorts, from something. it spotted me and thought i’d be a tasty treat. it found out that i was a lot tastier than i appeared so it decided to keep me. it suggests that its living off me is no different from me living off the life/food i live off. just a different “species”.

Or anything inside of you that is destroying you? Do you mean you are receiving pains that make you think that or...? how hijacker utilizes me as food is to cause me lonliness and pain that makes it thrive. ...actual pain via self harm. the self harm is both physical and psychological/emotional. when i was young i was able to stop it for months at a time but over the years i’ve become weaker.

I'm curious as to what'd make you think that. i am curious too. i have no understanding in any way significant enough to make me feel “yes! this is the reason”. it is all mysterious to me. i just have no idea other than it must be a demon. if not a demon then it is a living rage so great that it is very able to perpetuate itself. i have no tangable evidence of this though. i only wonder why all the time.

 

[Tana]

to answer you followup questions @someone123

So, there's a reason why I asked you to be detailed.
Why do you think you're...let's say unlikable? the reason is as follows: i have no friends. people call me interesting and i’ve only been able to gather that that means being of interest. it sounds nice but also means that entering the realm of being a friend is not necessary for the person meeting me. when i try, i feel as if i’m being ignored or rejected. that has been very consistent throughout my life.

And where's your proof? Also, are you sure ALL of your characteristics are simply unlikable? my proof is the absence of friendship even with having tried numerous times over many years. and no, i think my characteristics are very likeable but just not as part of the combination that makes up me. i believe i have many likable charactaristis that just turn out to be not needed at the important moment when friendship might be otherwise considered.

Well, what's the logic behind the demon? my demon, which i call hijacker (gender non-specific) claims to have been a wandering spirit of the sort that needs “nourishment” of sorts, from something. it spotted me and thought i’d be a tasty treat. it found out that i was a lot tastier than i appeared so it decided to keep me. it suggests that its living off me is no different from me living off the life/food i live off. just a different “species”.

Or anything inside of you that is destroying you? Do you mean you are receiving pains that make you think that or...? how hijacker utilizes me as food is to cause me lonliness and pain that makes it thrive. ...actual pain via self harm. the self harm is both physical and psychological/emotional. when i was young i was able to stop it for months at a time but over the years i’ve become weaker.

I'm curious as to what'd make you think that. i am curious too. i have no understanding in any way significant enough to make me feel “yes! this is the reason”. it is all mysterious to me. i just have no idea other than it must be a demon. if not a demon then it is a living rage so great that it is very able to perpetuate itself. i have no tangable evidence of this though. i only wonder why all the time.

I've been ignored and rejected, too. Hope you get the chance to prove you are likeable to someone who takes the time to meet you, in the real world.

Do you hear its voice or...? Loneliness and pain are human feelings. "Holes that hurt", as I'd also call it. There's nothing supernatural about it, it's just our brain sending signals, telling us we're in need of comfort and company, just as it'd signal when we're hungry. I actually have an idea. If you believe you're "feeding it" by being negative to yourself, wouldn't that logically mean that it would weaken if you were treating yourself well and had positive emotions?

Well, it's not a demon (in the real sense), but the feelings are real (loneliness, pain etc), and doing as I suggested ^ should make you feel better.

We're here to talk when you need us.

 

[dandelions]

I've been ignored and rejected, too. Hope you get the chance to prove you are likeable to someone who takes the time to meet you, in the real world.

Do you hear its voice or...? Loneliness and pain are human feelings. "Holes that hurt", as I'd also call it. There's nothing supernatural about it, it's just our brain sending signals, telling us we're in need of comfort and company, just as it'd signal when we're hungry. I actually have an idea. If you believe you're "feeding it" by being negative to yourself, wouldn't that logically mean that it would weaken if you were treating yourself well and had positive emotions?

Well, it's not a demon (in the real sense), but the feelings are real (loneliness, pain etc), and doing as I suggested ^ should make you feel better.

We're here to talk when you need us.

i would like to know the rationale of why the demon is not a demon in the real sense. is it just because we dont believe that way nowadays? i’ve always wanted to see scientific evidence of demonly nonexistence. i have always felt that it is unscientific to simply say that demons don’t exist and that therefore it is unnecessary to do the research. isn’t that actually a failing of scientists to just assume that something doesn’t need to be studied because it is automatically out of the question?

i have actually have proved i am likable to someone but it is not appropriate to explain this further here. the complexities of this situation actually tear at my heart in another way.

i never hear voices. i have what i call conversational thinking between me and hijacker. the doctors and therapists insist that that is the same as hearing voices but i do not agree.

Loneliness and pain are human feelings. "Holes that hurt", as I'd also call it. There's nothing supernatural about it, it's just our brain sending signals, telling us we're in need of comfort and company, just as it'd signal when we're hungry.

but to me this is only half the story. i believe that there is much we do not know that makes this so and that science can explain things that i the

If you believe you're "feeding it" by being negative to yourself, wouldn't that logically mean that it would weaken if you were treating yourself well and had positive emotions?

well the answer to this is of course yes! in my situation, hijacker usually disarms me so i can’t do that. i struggle to find a way.

 

[Tana]

i would like to know the rationale of why the demon is not a demon in the real sense. is it just because we dont believe that way nowadays? i’ve always wanted to see scientific evidence of demonly nonexistence. i have always felt that it is unscientific to simply say that demons don’t exist and that therefore it is unnecessary to do the research. isn’t that actually a failing of scientists to just assume that something doesn’t need to be studied because it is automatically out of the question?

i have actually have proved i am likable to someone but it is not appropriate to explain this further here. the complexities of this situation actually tear at my heart in another way.

i never hear voices. i have what i call conversational thinking between me and hijacker. the doctors and therapists insist that that is the same as hearing voices but i do not agree.

but to me this is only half the story. i believe that there is much we do not know that makes this so and that science can explain things that i the

well the answer to this is of course yes! in my situation, hijacker usually disarms me so i can’t do that. i struggle to find a way.

Actually, I don't think it's reasonable to seek evidence of why something doesn't exist. Instead, people should be able to prove why something does exist. Why? Well, because the opposite means there's a rainbow farting unicorn somewhere in this world, along with a flying spaghetti monster etc, you get the idea.

I think it makes sense to assume these things ^ don't exist, but sure, you can't *disprove it*. Though the fact that you can't disprove it (ironically) could be for the same reason you can't prove it; It just doesn't exist, so there's nothing to find.

That's okay.

Do you hear it inside or outside of your head? I mean, is it in your imagination or as though you're talking to someone real? If it's the second, then yeah, it's called hearing voices, if no one else hears it. I'm sorry, I hope you get better.

I agree, there's much we don't know. That's why we must stay open-minded but within reason.

Hmm...Are there any hobbies you enjoy in particular? Like for example, digital drawing or drawing could make me feel relaxed or driven, at times.

 

[dandelions]

Do you hear it inside or outside of your head? I mean, is it in your imagination or as though you're talking to someone real? If it's the second, then yeah, it's called hearing voices, if no one else hears it. I'm sorry, I hope you get better.

if someone was talking to me, i would be hearing it outside my head. if i believed someone was talking to me as if someone else was in the room when for certain no one was there, i’d be hearing it outside my head (probably even though it was actually inside my head.

i could imagine a conversation, like, perhaps with you, myself imagining that we met in a coffee shop and talked. that would be my imagination inside my head. so maybe the “conversations” hijacker has with me, is just my imagination. i don’t really know and i have not gotten a firm opinion on what it actually is from any of the professionals i’ve worked with - that is to say they always allow for it being something other than what they believe it is.

where i may border on “something” such as delusion is that hijacker disarms me. that is to say that i have so many times carried out hijacker’s will in what could be called “self harm” when i did not really want to do it and i found myself asking myself why was i doing it and not stopping. simultaneously i experienced being aware of hijacker’s joy and celebration that hijacker was succeeding and that i was failing.

what may “seem” like a demon to me, you might feel comfortable explaining as just my mind at work, however i have received no assurance from the professional mental healthcare workers that i’ve worked with that the existence of a demon is not possible.

i have had it suggested on more than one occasion that i give exorcism and shamanic cleansing a try by a therapist, a psychologist and then psychiatrist being told about it was in accord with those suggestions. i know that had i done that and supposing i got cured, it could still easily be discovered to be something psychologically induced as much as it could have been a demon finally chased away by the exorcist or shaman. i am not going for the exorcism or cleansing because i question the integrity of those performing such acts. but not because i rule out demons. i don’t.

there is still no confirmation one way or the other. that is why i have a problem with science being unscientific as i described above. i am as comfortable considering that i am delusional as i am at considering science is being wrong when it suits its own argument by being unscientific.

people throughout history and all over the world have suggested the existence of demons. as for rainbow farting unicorns and flying spaghetti monsters, correct me if i’m wrong, but aside from the small generally not officially recognized religion of pastafarians, spaghetti monsters and even unicorns do not have the same following “demons” have enjoyed. that is not to say one way or the other about their existence, but that a scientific study should not be so easily dismissed.

some people have been dead serious about demons. and anyway i don’t think a unicorn would fart. not in public around impressionalble humans anyway. they do have a sense of decorum