Rate yourself REALISTICALLY!

[Inanimate]

To put things into perspective, I have recurrent, severe Major Depressive Disorder, and some traits, though I don’t meet the full criteria, of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Perfectionism renders me at risk for OCPD.

1. Physical appearance.

Social interactions, albeit sparse, have led me to conclude that it’s above average.

2. Intelligence.

Objectively speaking, it’s average overall. Working memory, perceptual reasoning, and processing speed, are in the average range. Overall verbal comprehension is in the superior range.

On the record, the discrepancy between my highest and lowest scoring (perceptual reasoning) faculties is indicative of a non-verbal learning disorder. Off the record, this is also indicative of superior IQ potential according to my assessor. (That was generous of her.) I say “potential” emphatically because my depression, being the titanic golem that it is with rows of teeth abound, is a bulwark against progress. Until I’m rid of that, my problem solving skills and sensory-motor functioning remains handicapped.

Now, do I think that I’m intelligent?

Moderately.

3. Being a "good" person.

Eh.

4. Having a likeable personality (in general).

All in all, I think so. Those who get to know me usually find me likeable. To strangers, I tend to be likeable when I smile (nervously), or when I talk to them at length about something I care about, which is rare. Almost invariably, I don’t want to.

5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future.

If anything, my wants are ambitious, but I neither have the drive nor the confidence to realize them. “One who can make a great future” seems lofty at first glance, unless this implies making such a future for me alone, which also seems lofty. As for my capacity for implementing “great” change, I’m not in a position to make a presumption.

6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you).

My writing skills are good. Practical application of my deep-rooted, intense feelings has shown promise. The catharsis and dopamine rush I sometimes get keeps me coming back.

7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you).

My skepticism is advantageous when it’s rooted in reality. It tends to not operate in my best interest but rather in favor of pandering to my comfort.

 

[Inanimate]

Social Intelligence, NOPE. I am not able to read social situations. I don't know when people want me to leave. I don't know when people don't want to talk about something. I don't know when I've said something wrong. I don't read subtle AT ALL. You have to be clear. If you aren't direct, I'm not going to understand. I'm also probably not going to ask either, because I'm so tired of trying to figure out what's going on. I'm tired of trying to figure out the world and how to communicate. I've literally poured hours and hours into researching it for the last 8 months and I'm no closer to understanding. I've clearly gone horribly wrong in many situations, but I cannot identify what it is that I did that was the wrong thing. I cannot fix it until I know the problem. The only advice I've managed to find helpful in all my research is avoid topics of people change the subject, and to back off and not smoother people. I have no idea of this is good advice.

I liked all of this. All of this was “likeable.” The humility and humor going hand in hand made it so. I don’t know if that was your intention, or if I’m even using the right words, but I appreciated it either way. Your post was a compelling read altogether.

 

[Nick]

I liked all of this. All of this was “likeable.” The humility and humor going hand in hand made it so. I don’t know if that was your intention, or if I’m even using the right words, but I appreciated it either way. Your post was a compelling read altogether.

Thank you for your response. It's literally me in a nutshell. No attempt at humor, humility or anything else. The uncut so to speak. I usually edit things down and take out pieces and I didn't do that this time. I wrote it out and posted it, error and all. People get me or they don't. I suppose that's true for everyone. I don't tend to fall into the middle ground much though. I'm on the radar or off. I'm liked or hated.

For what it's worth, I've seen your posts around. I haven't responded much though, nothing with you I simply struggle with words at times. You seem sometimes misunderstood. You strike me as an introspective and overall decent person. I hope you continuing posting again. It's nice to see you back.

 

[Inanimate]

Thank you for your response. It's literally me in a nutshell. No attempt at humor, humility or anything else. The uncut so to speak. I usually edit things down and take out pieces and I didn't do that this time. I wrote it out and posted it, error and all. People get me or they don't. I suppose that's true for everyone. I don't tend to fall into the middle ground much though. I'm on the radar or off. I'm liked or hated.

I see. Your no-nonsense manner of socially interacting would ideally be universal. If people would just say what they mean and vice versa, I wouldn’t be ruminating the worst things they could possibly be thinking about me in any situation. Whatever. I just need to care less, I guess.

Obviously, we’ve never really conversed, let alone without anyone watching, but from what I’ve observed, you’re quite personable and nothing you’ve said has ever come across as distasteful or has given me doubt about you. I like you.

You strike me as an introspective and overall decent person.

Thanks. The mechanism and degree to which I self-examine could be my fatal flaw. I doubt and denigrate myself far more than I critically analyze my environment. I just want that to offset.

“Decent” is ideally how I’d like people to view me. Not “bad” or “terrible,” nor “better” or “virtuous.” High praise and admiration brings with it great expectations. The last person I want to disappoint and disillusion is someone who thinks highly of me, even though that's not on me. I don’t put much value in my ethics, but it’s pleasing to hear that another person doesn’t find me despicable.

Thank you for your warm welcome. I've been back for quite some time but hadn't really posted much until the start of this year.

 

[Affirm]

1. Physical appearance: I'm alright. I feel happy in myself, and have my own personal style.
2. Intelligence: I have no measure of my intelligence, objectively. But I feel as if my academics is below, or at average, but emotional intelligence/maturity is average or better for my age group
3. Being a "good" person: Without being negative, I've heard that I've helped from people who were depressed and suicidal, so I guess a decent person.
4. Having a likeable personality (in general): When I have been with people, they've seen to gravitate, or initiate friendly contact, so perhaps they see something that I don't. So it seems pretty well.
5. Being driven/ambitious/one who can make a great future: Realistically, this is something that I'm abysmal with. I crack under pressure, and have a very low tolerance for a fixed schedule. I can be motivated, but it doesn't translate well in careers or public education. EDIT: After some thinking about this, I think I may have overreacted. I do not have enough experience to make a proper logical judgement. I feel as if I could potentially rebound and be very excited and driven to do something in real life application.
6. Being good at X (something that means a lot to you): I seem to be pretty decent at...time management? I guess it's actually to get things done. I find ways to circumvent my flaws and make myself motivated to do something
7. Having an X characteristic (something that means a lot to you): I am dedicated, and pay attention/listen when needed or when it's for the best.

 

[Bergerac]

Marvellous, in all senses. Haha.