RECOVERY FROM NARCISSISM

[Starry Starry Night]

I am in the process of recovering from a "relationship" with a narcissist. I've decided to write a book to help others who are going through the same thing. I never knew there were so many of us who are struggling with recovery from what the narcissists have left behind in their wake. I am requesting that anyone (male or female) or has suffered with a narcissist (friend, significant other, parent, siblings, whoever) PM me to tell me their story. Everything you tell me will be confidential and I would never use your name. I believe this is a way for all of us to heal is to uncover what these "people" do to others. Thank you. Starry Starry

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Great idea. My psychiatrist just suggested that my mother may be a narcissist and I will have to look up the criteria. I've always thought she had BPD but of course they can be comorbid. She was abusive to me and to my younger brother growing up, and it has been a lifelong process recovering, especially given that she's still in our lives.

 

[cots]

I believe I had two encounters with narcissists but I am not sure if they're definitely narcs. I know narcissism is a personality disorder and I can't diagnose them but they definitely displayed narc traits. It's tricky, really. But that's what a narc is. Tricky!

 

[Starry Starry Night]

I believe I had two encounters with narcissists but I am not sure if they're definitely narcs. I know narcissism is a personality disorder and I can't diagnose them but they definitely displayed narc traits. It's tricky, really. But that's what a narc is. Tricky!

Would you feel comfortable telling me what kind of "traits" you mean.

 

[cots]

I don't mind at all. I shan't go into details about who or what exactly happened, but I'll state some general observations, for general discussion. Feel free to quip in or discuss!

#1 Gaslighting - making you think that someone else is/ you are crazy. The problem never lies with them. It's always you or someone else. You are not living up to standards, you are not good enough, you are stirring shit, always you you you and never them. And eventually you start thinking that you are the problem.

#2 Passive aggressiveness - subtle hints about how popular they are or what you should/ should not do to meet their standards. E.g "Aww, you didn't put on makeup today? I feel so disappointed", "Well, my OTHER friend has this AMAZING event/party going on, you know? I'm so busy"

#3 Puppy eyes / poor doe look - when you point their shit out and they start acting sad and pitiful in front of all their friends, lamenting and "musing" about why they're treated SO BADLY by you when they have been SO ANGELIC.

#4 Memory loss after the Discard - their hard disk gets wiped out after the final discard. All of a sudden, they no longer remember your birthday, your phone number, or even your name. They're so into the new supply that you no longer exist in their entire universe.

#5 Belittling - this goes hand in hand with the gaslighting, actually. I'm too lazy to shift this up (I'm on mobile) haha. They start saying shit like "Look at you, totally UNATTRACTIVE". They start comparing: "Well, look at our statuses. We're obviously different. You are different from the company I KEEP" etc.

I could go on. Honestly, if anyone reading this was ever discarded by a narc, please DO NOT feel sad. Rejoice, as you are finally free from the clutches of a narc. If you can't leave the narc, limit interaction. They're toxic!