SF Cafe, June 10th, Monday

[Aurelia]

Okay, so I heard some of you have missed my philosophical questions, so they're back!

However, that's not the only topic today. You can choose between answering the questions or telling us about an interesting or funny dream you've had in the past. Your choice.

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait?
• Does life require a purpose and a goal?
• Is it easier to love or to be loved?
• Do acts of kindness have a motive?
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?

@Ash600 @Inanimate (where are you? I miss you :/) @Witty_Sarcasm @Auri @echos @Sunspots @Lane @HumanExMachina @Walker @GFS

 

[Aurelia]

Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
Respected/feared. Fuck being liked.

Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
Absolutely. I think technology is fucking us more than its helping us.

Is having a big ego a negative trait or a positive trait?
It can be either or. Depends how it's used.

Does life require a purpose and a goal?
I think so. Otherwise, it's just empty and meaningless.

Is it easier to love or to be loved?
For me, it's much easier to love.

Do acts of kindness have a motive?
Yes. Always. Even if the motive is to feel good about yourself for being kind, that's still a motive.

Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
Not sure, actually, because people had to hide it a lot more in the past. But I guess I'd probably say they're more sensitive now.

Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?
Me, personally, I guess I'm a masochist that way.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
Respected and liked I guess. I can't envision myself as very feared. lol

Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
In some ways, because it can drive people apart. But it also brings them together, like how I've met great people on this site.

Is having a big ego a negative trait or a positive trait?
It can be both, but I have a small ego so I wouldn't know. :P

Does life require a purpose and a goal?
Yes, because what's the point otherwise?

Is it easier to love or to be loved?
Probably easier to love, at least for me. I don't find myself hard to be loved, sometimes I just question if I deserve it,

Do acts of kindness have a motive?
Well, sometimes they do. But I don't act kind just to make a point or something. I do something because I want to, not for other motives.

Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
It's hard to say...I mean people had to tough it out more in the past, so maybe it was easier to hide their emotions as well.

Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?
Because I'm an idiot and think I'll get everything I want out of life. haha

 

[OfLoveAndDeath]

Been a while since you opened the cafe from what I can remember. Love the theme.
Both, people should be afraid of how much they like you.
In some ways I'd say yes but technology isn't without benefits, after all it can be used for things like saving lives.
Depends whether it's justified I'd argue. If somebody has achieved a lot or is more important as a person then there's nothing with them seeing themselves as such.
I think so. I think what that purpose is is determined by the person, they create their own purpose.
Easier to love for sure. I've been trying to be loved for a year and I've just accepted that it's impossible. But to love is as easy as breathing (for me at least)
A hint of cynicism here Aurelia, I expect nothing less from you. Speaking for myself, sometimes I'm kind to make myself look better, sometimes it's because I understand what a cold place this world is when you don't get to experience kindness.
Well considering the clusterfuck that is history I doubt we're much better or worse really.
Because having realistic/attainable goals is no fun

 

[echos]

Yay philosophical questions*yes

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked? Respected/Liked.
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology? We don’t know how happy people were before the age of technology. My guess is people weren’t always happy but it’s made more visible as technology progress
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait? Uhh depends on how big
• Does life require a purpose and a goal? Life’s true purpose is just survival but you can add in seasonings to make it spicy
• Is it easier to love or to be loved? Depends on what kind of “easier” it means. Personally I find both to be hard
• Do acts of kindness have a motive? Yes, everything has a motive
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations? I have no idea
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable? Just because it’s not attainable doesn’t mean we don’t want it

Aaannnnd I’ll go to bed now

 

[Bbear82]

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?respected in my opinion. i would rather be liked than feared, i dont like the thought of people being afraid of me
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology?i believe so
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait? negative trait
• Does life require a purpose and a goal?yes both are necessary
• Is it easier to love or to be loved? for me it is easier to love others rather than for me to be loved
• Do acts of kindness have a motive? depends on the situation. such as if your doing something kind with the motivation of making another feel better i guess that is motive
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations? not sure
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable? to say we tried.. i dont know

 

[Rellek]

Okay, so I heard some of you have missed my philosophical questions, so they're back!

However, that's not the only topic today. You can choose between answering the questions or telling us about an interesting or funny dream you've had in the past. Your choice.

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
  Respected and liked I guess. I can't envision myself as very feared. lol
  
  Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
  In some ways, because it can drive people apart. But it also brings them together, like how I've met great people on this site.
  
  Is having a big ego a negative trait or a positive trait?
  It can be both, but I have a small ego so I wouldn't know. :P
  
  Does life require a purpose and a goal?
  Yes, because what's the point otherwise?
  
  Is it easier to love or to be loved?
  Probably easier to love, at least for me. I don't find myself hard to be loved, sometimes I just question if I deserve it,
  
  Do acts of kindness have a motive?
  Well, sometimes they do. But I don't act kind just to make a point or something. I do something because I want to, not for other motives.
  
  Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
  It's hard to say...I mean people had to tough it out more in the past, so maybe it was easier to hide their emotions as well.
  
  Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?
  Because I'm an idiot and think I'll get everything I want out of life. haha
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait?
• Does life require a purpose and a goal?
• Is it easier to love or to be loved?
• Do acts of kindness have a motive?
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?

I agree with Witty Sarcasm on all of my answers. My dreams involve a major cleanup so we'll just avoid this question....OK?

 

[Aurelia]

Mine need a major cleanup too, believe me.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?

Respected is better than liked. And if somebody doesn't respect us, I don't think it's possible for them to like us very much, anyway. Liked is better than feared. If somebody fears you, they're more likely to actively work against you interests if the opportunity presents itself, as a way of protecting themselves.

Have we become less happy in this age of technology?

I doubt it. Humans are humans, doesn't matter where in history they are. I think the only difference is that now most people have the leisure time to sit and think about their unhappiness. Previously in human history this was a 'luxury' reserved only for the elites of society, like royalty, and other la-dee-daa people.

Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait?

I think it's generally a positive trait, right up until the point it starts blinding us to our shortcomings and weaknesses, which inevitably set us up for failure.

Does life require a purpose and a goal?

Life is the purpose, and the goal.

Is it easier to love or to be loved?

Definitely easier to love. That part doesn't require much effort.

Do acts of kindness have a motive?

I think everything we do, we do because it makes us feel better, or we think that it well. When somebody is kind to another person, it makes them feel good, in a number of ways. It doesn't require thought though, it's something that humans know instinctively and most often do automatically without thinking, like breathing.

Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?

Similar to my answer above, about unhappiness. People have more leisure time to sit around and think about that kind of stuff, that's the only difference.

Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?

It's the will 'o the wisp that leads us through the dark forest, always ahead of us, just out of reach. Following it takes us to better places.

 

[MusicMoggy]

Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
Liked and i'd like to be respected, but I'd hate to be feared.

Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
I think technology has brought more understanding so it seems so but I don't think people are any less happy than they were.

Is having a big ego a negative trait or a positive trait?
Having s big ego tends to mean being a bit self absorbed. Maybe a negative trait.

Does life require a purpose and a goal?
no it doesn't require it but it helps to make life more meaningful

Is it easier to love or to be loved?
to love

Do acts of kindness have a motive?
maybe, motive can be a good thing

Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
maybe more aware

Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?
i think fulfilling your potential is perfection and that is achievable

 

[Sarahbeanie]

I cant seem to copy and paste on my tablet, so I'll have to talk about my dream. I always have reoccurring dreams about bedrooms and beds. Rooms with nearby bathrooms. That I'm walking around discovering empty furnished bedrooms. Happens very often and have no idea why. Yet it is kind of interesting. They say you process your day through your dreams, and I really wonder if there is any truth in dream symbolism. Its a nice break from some of the bizarre dreams I've had that I'd rather not talk about or remember in detail though.

 

[Auri]

Hi everyone Hope you're having a good morning, or a good day, or a good evening for some!
Have a wonderful one!

I'm not sure I have particularly funny dreams, I can't think of one, but some of them are pretty fascinating. It seems all the creativity I lack IRL is used when I sleep, so my dreams are sometimes like books or movies, with a premise, a purpose, hardships and an ending, with lots and lots of details. A theme that comes back quite often is a context of war (realistic or fantasy) and me trying to save the world

One that I found peculiar was this "Worlds of Apes" dream LOL There were different kinds of apes, more humanoid ones, wearing clothes and living like humans, and also very animalistic and dangerous ones looking like mandrills, or giant blue bear-like gorillas (they were vegan ♡ LOL), and typical humanoid apes (like in the movie) who were fighting each others' clans out of tradition and hate, like Vikings did. They all had their own Kingdoms, social systems, personalities and special powers. It was extremely detailed. I arrived in this world as some kind of Witch. I could make spells, use fairy dust, and travel between the worlds using different types of little diamonds appearing in my magical pocket. I was nicely welcomed in the humanoid apes' society, in the Palace of their King, but soon realized how corrupted they were and how unjust their system was. My quest was to bring justice and I went on a set of adventures to find help in other nicer Kingdoms. And boy... that is only the setting. What a warrior I was in there :wow: It was pretty scary and very sad at times, but I am too fascinated to consider this a nightmare today.

I haven't seen any of the modern movies of the Planet of the Apes.
Little illustration *bleh

 

[key726]

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked? Respected, then liked. If people fear you they’ll rally against you eventually.
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology? It’s been proven to be so, at least in terms of social media, but I think it’s more complex that just that.
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait? I think it depends how self aware someone is.
• Does life require a purpose and a goal? I think there’s a lot of evidence that indicated for communities and individuals to prosper, purpose is needed. The history of religion is really interesting in the context of that, it provided even unsuccessful people with a sense of purpose, and I think that’s lost now (purpose, that is) and making a lot of people miserable and unproductive.
• Is it easier to love or to be loved? It depends on the person.
• Do acts of kindness have a motive? The obvious answer (shoutout Phoebe) is yes, because it makes people feel good. I see that point but it’s never resonated with me much. If everything has a motive then nothing has a motive, I’ll just say.
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations? Yes.
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable? To please others and we think once we’re close to it our minds will be able to rest.

 

[Auri]

My answers to the interesting questions

• Is it better to be respected or liked? What about feared or liked?
• Have we become less happy in this age of technology?
• Is having a big ego a negative trait of positive trait?
• Does life require a purpose and a goal?
• Is it easier to love or to be loved?
• Do acts of kindness have a motive?
• Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
• Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?

1. Respect is the foundation in any interaction between two people, so I need that, but I don't care about being liked.
I don't want to be feared though, so then I prefer to be liked.

2. I don't think technology is the direct enemy here. Technology can be used in very good ways to make the world a better place. Unfortunately, humans and the nature of our societies decided otherwise.

3. Too much ego is a negative trait. A little is fine and can be an asset in certain aspects of life, but I am not very fond of it.

4. From an absolute point of view, I don't think we have any other purpose than existing and dying, just like other animals. However as we are sentient and moral beings, we need some kind of purpose in life to go through this journey with as less pain as possible.

5. To love is easier. You can love anyone.

6. Most of the time. It doesn't change the fact that they are acts of kindness. If you help someone to change their life, and you feel good about yourself, I think the impact of helping this person is much more important than your single feeling of being a better person, so it is worth it. However, I also do believe that some acts of kindness are pretty selfless. I cannot be the only one, but I know how I feel sometimes when I help someone. I do not gain anything, I do not feel any better than I was the day before, and at times get affected negatively. I am driven by the fact that I want the person to get better no matter what I can do. I don't care if it is me who changes it or not. You could say in these cases my motive is to feel better because a person (I potentially care about) is happy out there. That's what empathy feels like.

7. I think every generation had to face different issues. Baby boomers were seeking economical security, safety and some social rights after the Wars, so they focused on productivity, independence and family. The generation X saw a rise in technology and freedom of movement. A lot of immigration, businesswomen, focus on earning more. Current generations have more access to information and education, but also face the pressure of getting immediate results required in society, and they struggle with all the expectations on every aspect of life because of ideals presented in the media and people's mentalities : the perfect family, the perfect sex life, the perfect job where you earn a lot and that you love, the perfect social life, the perfect looks... basically everything has to be perfect, not only safe and stable. At the same time, they look for freedom, because of the accent put on diversity. The conflict between their will to satisfy society's expectations and their search for freedom and fulfillment makes them more fragile to mental issues, and yes, more sensitive in my opinion. Just my short opinion on a vast topic.

8. Everyone wants us to be perfect, but everyone has a different opinion on what perfection looks like for us. We are bombarded with depictions of perfect lives everywhere so we feel the need to be the best version of ourselves, too.

 

[Auri]

Hi @luno , @AlwaysHeartache and @Arisamela *grouphug How are you today?

Wishing you a beautiful day.

 

[Auri]

Join us in the Café @Noxsys , @First loss and @sherylblondie Do you want to share a dream of yours, or answer some questions?

Wishing you a beautiful day.

 

[Aurelia]

My answers to the interesting questions

1. Respect is the foundation in any interaction between two people, so I need that, but I don't care about being liked.
I don't want to be feared though, so then I prefer to be liked.

2. I don't think technology is the direct enemy here. Technology can be used in very good ways to make the world a better place. Unfortunately, humans and the nature of our societies decided otherwise.

3. Too much ego is a negative trait. A little is fine and can be an asset in certain aspects of life, but I am not very fond of it.

4. From an absolute point of view, I don't think we have any other purpose than existing and dying, just like other animals. However as we are sentient and moral beings, we need some kind of purpose in life to go through this journey with as less pain as possible.

5. To love is easier. You can love anyone.

6. Most of the time. It doesn't change the fact that they are acts of kindness. If you help someone to change their life, and you feel good about yourself, I think the impact of helping this person is much more important than your single feeling of being a better person, so it is worth it. However, I also do believe that some acts of kindness are pretty selfless. I cannot be the only one, but I know how I feel sometimes when I help someone. I do not gain anything, I do not feel any better than I was the day before, and at times get affected negatively. I am driven by the fact that I want the person to get better no matter what I can do. I don't care if it is me who changes it or not. You could say in these cases my motive is to feel better because a person (I potentially care about) is happy out there. That's what empathy feels like.

7. I think every generation had to face different issues. Baby boomers were seeking economical security, safety and some social rights after the Wars, so they focused on productivity, independence and family. The generation X saw a rise in technology and freedom of movement. A lot of immigration, businesswomen, focus on earning more. Current generations have more access to information and education, but also face the pressure of getting immediate results required in society, and they struggle with all the expectations on every aspect of life because of ideals presented in the media and people's mentalities : the perfect family, the perfect sex life, the perfect job where you earn a lot and that you love, the perfect social life, the perfect looks... basically everything has to be perfect, not only safe and stable. At the same time, they look for freedom, because of the accent put on diversity. The conflict between their will to satisfy society's expectations and their search for freedom and fulfillment makes them more fragile to mental issues, and yes, more sensitive in my opinion. Just my short opinion on a vast topic.

8. Everyone wants us to be perfect, but everyone has a different opinion on what perfection looks like for us. We are bombarded with depictions of perfect lives everywhere so we feel the need to be the best version of ourselves, too.

I used to think that because acts of kindness weren't selfless, that made all people selfish. However, I've changed my mind on that thanks to a chat with Witty's boyfriend about a year ago. He said that it doesn't make them neither selfish or selfless. It just was what it was and there was no point giving it any kind of label. The logic made sense to me and I actually changed a long-term belief of mine because of it. So @Witty_Sarcasm you can say thank you to him for me.

 

[Auri]

I used to think that because acts of kindness weren't selfless, that made all people selfish. However, I've changed my mind on that thanks to a chat with Witty's boyfriend about a year ago. He said that it doesn't make them neither selfish or selfless. It just was what it was and there was no point giving it any kind of label. The logic made sense to me and I actually changed a long-term belief of mine because of it. So @Witty_Sarcasm you can say thank you to him for me.

Yes, that is a good way to see that He sounds smart.

 

[WaterUnder]

I'm just here for the companionship. Got nothing to say, so I'll just serve.

 

[Aurelia]

Yes, that is a good way to see that He sounds smart.

Yeah, he definitely is. One of the most intelligent people I've ever talked to.