So close

[poodle]

I tried to kill myself earlier this evening. < Mod edit Hazel: Method >

So damn annoyed that my plan was foiled.

Have tried distracting all evening. It's still on my mind.

Thing is. I have these pills. Mixture of stuff. And am tempted to take them.

But then am tempted to go walking and find the nearest bridge.

I called the Crisis team earlier this evening and they just said take 5mg diazapam and distract yourself.

Well it didn't work.

Seems pointless calling them again.

I just feel really lonely.

I have mental health problems and have been really ill for ten years.

I'm tired of struggling.

But I don't feel like I've got anywhere left to turn.

It is all so pointless.

I've been cutting to try and distract from the suicidal thoughts, but that's not reallyworking either.

I'm sorry. I think I've given up.

 

[mdmefontaine]

hi. i'm new here, like you.

i am so sorry you are feeling so awful. are you getting counseling / treatment for your mental health issues?

it is very hard to have the energy, to continue to 'distract' oneself.

i am very sad and lonely. i think that we can all help each other, here on s.f., by holding on, together. i am so glad i am here to read what you wrote. and i'm so glad that you are here, to write it.

honestly, the pills, a mixture, might just make you really really sick but nothing else. too risky. and the bridge. not a good idea. you could try to stay in, it is what i call, "hunkering down" . . . stay on s.f., have some boring news show on t.v., make some popcorn, do some geeky crossword puzzles, get through one more day.

i hope you don't try to hurt yourself again. i'll be thinking about you. i care. :hug:

 

[Dave_N]

It sounds like you really need a friend poodle. :hug:

 

[poodle]

I'm on meds, have had years of therapy.

When I get like this I know I'm dangerous.

My Mum says to go to her in France, but I don't think I could cope with the travel right now.

Am waiting for GP to phone.

 

[Rachel123]

Being with family can really help you right now. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. Hopefully you can get the strength to travel right now and see your mom. :hug:

 

[Petal]

I'm on meds, have had years of therapy.

When I get like this I know I'm dangerous.

My Mum says to go to her in France, but I don't think I could cope with the travel right now.

Am waiting for GP to phone.

:hug: Poodle,

Perhaps going to France will take your mind off things and being with family can help too :arms: