So tired of being friendless and alone

[Gabby girl]

I try, I really do. But my efforts don't seem to result in anything.
I met a woman who is my age and has a dog. We talk a lot when we run into each other outside. On two occasions I have invited her to do something and both times she was busy. She hasn't invited me. Yesterday I left her a voice mail and wanted to talk - she sent a message back just now, no call.
I get to know people and then they move away. I may make the effort to stay in touch, but they don't.
I make lists of things I could do to meet people, but I've done it all before and it still seems fruitless.
I lost my job 2 months ago.
I am as alone as I have ever been in my life. I can't find anyone to talk to.
So I watch tv and movies all the time.
It all seems so useless.
Alice

im so sorry you are going through all of this i know a bit how horrible it is i have 2 friends irl and none of them are in my area. i do the same thing to distract the mind. maybe try to go outside a bit every now and then even if its just in the garden. frsh air can help. also maybe try to see if there are any community groups in your area that host coffee morning or even lunch gatherings. (youd be surprised with a bit of research what you can find) we are all here if you wanna talk anytime and are happy to give advice if needed. 2

 

[alice202]

thanks maya
I have one friend who is really just a neighbor and I have a dog. But the neighbor never wants to talk on the phone and in fact doesn't return my calls. She will text me if she wants to meet up at the dog park. So I feel like that is about all there is to the friendship. Yesterday she told me that my dog doesn't respect me like her dog respects her. Today I am seething over this. The dogs are the same breed, but hers is a submissive female. Mine is an energetic male with a strong personality. I've taken him to classes and put him on meds. There is only so much I can do. He's a little wild, but I love him the way he is.

I didn't find her remarks helpful - I just felt criticized and misunderstood. It makes me feel like this friendship isn't working. Or maybe I am just oversensitive.

I know I need to get out more.

 

[Anchorchain]

Your story resonates with me, Alice. I live alone and have no real friends. I do volunteer work and I have a booth at the local farmers market where I sell my home baked breads and cookies for 24 Saturday mornings between May and October. And I go to church on Sundays. That's it for social contacts. There are two ladies who are online friends.....I knew them in real life, 40+ years ago and 50+ years ago.
Unlike you, I'm not making any attempts at making new friends. I've accepted that the Saturday market and the volunteer colleagues are my only social contacts.
I'm 72 years old and my health is pretty good so far. The end of life seems like it should be interesting.......to transit to the next world. But I don't think I'll take the quick exit so long as my health is still good.
I hope you find the friendships that you're looking for.

 

[Gabby girl]

these are the sort of peo

thanks maya
I have one friend who is really just a neighbor and I have a dog. But the neighbor never wants to talk on the phone and in fact doesn't return my calls. She will text me if she wants to meet up at the dog park. So I feel like that is about all there is to the friendship. Yesterday she told me that my dog doesn't respect me like her dog respects her. Today I am seething over this. The dogs are the same breed, but hers is a submissive female. Mine is an energetic male with a strong personality. I've taken him to classes and put him on meds. There is only so much I can do. He's a little wild, but I love him the way he is.

I didn't find her remarks helpful - I just felt criticized and misunderstood. It makes me feel like this friendship isn't working. Or maybe I am just oversensitive.

I know I need to get out more.

with people that way i would just sether the relationship. sadly it isnt the dogs thats the issue clearly she doesnt respect you. its clear by the lack of wanting to hang out and only on her terms. since she is your next door its best to say something like this "im sorry but i feel like this isnt working out for me, i wish you all the best but am not willing to interact with you anymore. maybe then with the main issue out of the way can you focus on getting out more. she will probably give you dirty looks when you walk past and shes there but remember its not your fault, she choose to be this way. she chose to terminate the friendship by not showing a interest in you. it works both ways to be successful sweetie. im here if you need to talk more

 

[alice202]

Something bad happened and I am still shaking. Yesterday I got an email from the landlord saying they wanted entry to all the apartments today. They are wiring the apts for a new internet service provider. I am happy with the provider I have and do not want to change. But they give you no choice about having someone come in.

There is a "beware of dog" sign on my door which I put there. The last time they demanded entry I told them I didn't want it. But the technician came to my door and walked right in. I was in my nightgown and I tried to tell him I didn't want them to come in. But they came in anyway. Instead of 15 minutes it was three hours.

This time I ignored the tech when he came to the door. My dog was right on the other side of the front door barking his head off, but he came in anyway. My dog didn't calm down so he finally left and that was the end of it.

He came back a half hour later with another person, and the same thing happened. But I came to the doorway and said I do not want what you are installing and I do not want to let you in.

Not long after they came back with someone from the landlords office. Three men trying to get into my apartment. They emphasized that they have a right to enter because of the email. The technician said he would have no problem calling the police so they could put me in handcuffs so he could enter my apartment and do his job. So I put my dog in a locked room and let him in. They did the work.

I just feel like I've been run over by a car.

Alice

 

[seabird]

I'm sorry all of this happened. I'm also proud as heck of you for being brave enough to stand up to them despite their aggression. I hope after some time goes by you feel better. How is your dog? It must feel pretty shaken up too.

(h)

 

[alice202]

Well I did it. I called the company he works for and reported his behavior. I hope he gets in deep shit for talking to me like that.

About 15 years ago I said something on the phone about suicide because I was upset over my unemployment benefits stopping. The worker called the police and the next thing I knew they were pounding on my door. They twisted my arms behind my back and handcuffed me. They left my apartment door open so my dog could get loose. Then they drove me to a mental health center where I spent a half hour trying to talk my way out of handcuffs. It was absolutely horrible. Its like I was being punished for using the word suicide.

Anyway, it was a horrible feeling, so being threatened with that was really awful.

A

 

[alice202]

Dog is fine. When he was barking at them I heaped praise on him. He makes me feel safe.