I keep waking up depressed. Sometimes it improves a little throughout the day, but not enough to be good with.
I think, at least in part, part of it has to do with my health. I have so many things going on that there’s no way to address it all with drs. It’s literally that vast, so I only tend to address the critical or the most painful things. There’s still even plenty of that. So much so that on occasion I’m screwing something up regarding appts or testing. It’s both exhausting and discouraging.
I’ve been in physical therapy for a couple months. They’re working on my elbow on one arm, and my wrist and hand on the other. I just got out of a cast for the wrist a few weeks ago. I tore a tendon and some cartilage, and still have no idea how. There’s a strong chance I have a connective tissue disorder, and when I tried to see a geneticist about it they said their earliest availability would be ‘23 or possibly ‘24. This is in part because I’m not one of the lucky ones who have their family history. I have other tears in my body which is why I sought to figure it out, but I’m just not that special.
Now I’m dealing with heart issues - again. I have severe heart disease. I’ve got a mechanical valve, and my aorta is dissected. Then, for the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out what has made my pulse go so low (44), but I still don’t know. Then last week when I was at the cardiologist for my annual check up we discovered that now my blood pressure is too low (90/50). This has never happened before, so it’s definitely not the norm for me. My INR (tells how the blood is caugulating) is now only a little high. Normally they adjust my dose, and tell me to check it in a week. This time my cardiologist wants me to check it again tomorrow (just checked it yesterday). I don’t normally find being a little bit off a big deal, and normally it’s not. But their wanting me to check it in two days has me kind of weirded out. That’s not like them, either.
I’m doing what I can to take care of myself including losing weight (lowest I’ve been in 20yrs atm), and I’m down to 2-3 cigs a day.
I’m just exhausted that it’s always something. I can’t even list everything here simply cuz it’s too much, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that drs are anything but helpful. They obviously can’t (and in some cases won’t) help.
I’m totally exhausted!
I think, at least in part, part of it has to do with my health. I have so many things going on that there’s no way to address it all with drs. It’s literally that vast, so I only tend to address the critical or the most painful things. There’s still even plenty of that. So much so that on occasion I’m screwing something up regarding appts or testing. It’s both exhausting and discouraging.
I’ve been in physical therapy for a couple months. They’re working on my elbow on one arm, and my wrist and hand on the other. I just got out of a cast for the wrist a few weeks ago. I tore a tendon and some cartilage, and still have no idea how. There’s a strong chance I have a connective tissue disorder, and when I tried to see a geneticist about it they said their earliest availability would be ‘23 or possibly ‘24. This is in part because I’m not one of the lucky ones who have their family history. I have other tears in my body which is why I sought to figure it out, but I’m just not that special.
Now I’m dealing with heart issues - again. I have severe heart disease. I’ve got a mechanical valve, and my aorta is dissected. Then, for the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out what has made my pulse go so low (44), but I still don’t know. Then last week when I was at the cardiologist for my annual check up we discovered that now my blood pressure is too low (90/50). This has never happened before, so it’s definitely not the norm for me. My INR (tells how the blood is caugulating) is now only a little high. Normally they adjust my dose, and tell me to check it in a week. This time my cardiologist wants me to check it again tomorrow (just checked it yesterday). I don’t normally find being a little bit off a big deal, and normally it’s not. But their wanting me to check it in two days has me kind of weirded out. That’s not like them, either.
I’m doing what I can to take care of myself including losing weight (lowest I’ve been in 20yrs atm), and I’m down to 2-3 cigs a day.
I’m just exhausted that it’s always something. I can’t even list everything here simply cuz it’s too much, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that drs are anything but helpful. They obviously can’t (and in some cases won’t) help.
I’m totally exhausted!
)