@1964dodge @KM76710 and @JanisSPK
Thanks to you all for your kind words, I did have a better day today 🙂
Thanks to you all for your kind words, I did have a better day today 🙂
Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?
- Thread starter Petal
- Start date
Yes/no. I am starting to feel like I am emerging from being trapped underground, immersed in sludge for a long time. I had come to accept it as normal and didn’t realize how painful it was until I started to break the crust above me and found daylight again.
Yes, because I have been wearing invisible shackles for so long that I don’t remember how to live free. Because I was my own jailer and torturer. I could have freed myself much sooner but I was afraid of change.
No, because change can be good.
Yes, because I have been wearing invisible shackles for so long that I don’t remember how to live free. Because I was my own jailer and torturer. I could have freed myself much sooner but I was afraid of change.
No, because change can be good.
yes. I am holding on for a psych appt tomorrow to readjust my med that keeps my survival instinct working. Lately a lot has happened, so maybe I need more support than usual. I'm a bit loathe to manage anything primarily via medication, but I'm also aware that my suicidality is due to biological determinants, or at least biology provides sufficient conditions. IDK, I am also feeling obnoxiously invalidated to the point that I'm thinking that maybe I am deluded or paranoid. I rather think that we are in a bizarre time but I am starting to wonder if I am forgetting things that did happen, and also remembering things that didn't.
I know this is attributed to Kurt Cobain (front man for the 90s grunge band Nirvana), but I also came up with it on my own: I hate myself and I want to die.
Not going to do it today, though. Instead, having a cookie and sitting on my butt for a little while.
I know this is attributed to Kurt Cobain (front man for the 90s grunge band Nirvana), but I also came up with it on my own: I hate myself and I want to die.
Not going to do it today, though. Instead, having a cookie and sitting on my butt for a little while.
thought about it yesterday a bit when pain was too high and too long but that happens. i'm lucky for the most part my pain is controllable a lot of the time for now. either way even if i occasionally consider it i know in my heart i won't die by my hand i'll die when god calls me home. it will be worth waiting if i can touch the face of god
mike
mike
When I first joined this sub and was actively still planning/going to attempt, I saw a comment you had left that was the first thing that really made me stop and think about what I was feeling and doing. In a way your comment opened my eyes to the fact that I wasn't a waste myself- which is why I'm so confident in saying that I know you're not. The pain might be unbearable now, and I'm so sorry it is, I know that feeling well- but you have made a difference to me, and I hope you'll stick around to keep being a source of light to others and eventually to yourself.
I'm not making the progress, or pace that I need. I admit I am depressed. It's too heavy to move it, and it's tied to me in ways I can't udo. @maybeicanheal telling me that I was able to help like that, it is one of the nices things I've ever been told. I don't want the pain to keep wrecking me. How else to say that I don't know.
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