Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?

[AmberMarie]

Thoughts are intense with me, especially as my pain becomes stronger.

 

[1964dodge]

Yes. The obstacles in getting surgery are so huge. It would be easier to be dead.

try to hold on @Angie . it sucks but i'm sure things will get better after the surgery

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Yes. I know my perspective is distorted right now, but I wish I had never started therapy in the first place 24 years ago. I would have kept getting worse and no one would want to help me. It’s really hard right now to not simply say, “f this,” and start gathering supplies.

I hate myself for allowing people to hurt me, and I hate my abusers for using the fact that I was a dependent child to hurt me and my siblings. It was just cruel, there was no upside for them except watching our pain break us.

I want out of here like a fish wants water. It’s too bad that I can’t drown in pain.

 

[1964dodge]

Yes.

 

[1964dodge]

Thoughts are intense with me, especially as my pain becomes stronger.

chronic pain does cause depression and suicidal feelings. i know it's hard but you have to keep fighting

mike,....

 

[1964dodge]

i have been fighting those thoughts recently. mostly because of health/chronic pain issues. but even though i'm ready to go home i will make the reaper do his own job lol

mike

 

[AmberMarie]

chronic pain does cause depression and suicidal feelings. i know it's hard but you have to keep fighting

mike,....

i am trying to fight it. Its extremely difficult. The pain got so bad lastnight that i begged my ex to take me to the er. They have found the possible issue and now i am admitted for a few days minimum for extensive testing, with the hopes of avoiding another abdominal surgery.

 

[MagickLynx]

Yes, today has been very bad. But I refuse to let my abusers win. I'm livid that they will likely get away with it all. I wish I had proof. I hate them. 🤬 I going to end up homeless because of them now as well. It's only a matter of time before I get kicked out, and the council is absolutely hopeless. They're all evil. They let victims suffer decades after the abuse.

 

[Windhover]

Not today.
It'd be easier to keep the arrow pointing at 'no' if I wasn't subject to depression and anxiety.

 

[LumberJack]

I hate them. I hate them with every fiber of my being. They damaged me just when I was starting to get better. Since then, I have gotten steadily worse. I want to die. I can’t do this anymore. I want to die.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[LumberJack]

kind of. Last night I spent a lot of time trying to make myself dead through sheer force of will. Turns out I am not so good at meditation that I can control my autonomic nervous system. I don't want to kms but I am in a hurry to get this mostly awful life over with. It's a little freeing to be okay with dying at any given moment. Nothing left to lose because not attached to it. Unfortunately I'm attached to getting the hell off this cursed roller coaster, so I still suffer.

 

[1964dodge]

i am trying to fight it. Its extremely difficult. The pain got so bad lastnight that i begged my ex to take me to the er. They have found the possible issue and now i am admitted for a few days minimum for extensive testing, with the hopes of avoiding another abdominal surgery.

i hope they find the issues and you get better soon

mike....

 

[AmberMarie]

i hope they find the issues and you get better soon

mike....

Thank you Mike

 

[Angie]

Not today

 

[LumberJack]

No - honestly I think I would fail at that, too.

 

[XXOutbackXx]

I'm so stressed out that I'm starting to lose bits of memory. My company just did layoffs again. I survived but they could come around again anytime. I am all alone. My savings are essentially gone. I can barely afford necessities -- having to put groceries on a credit card due to medical bills. I know there isn't anything in my future that is worth living for. I can sit in therapy and be dead silent because there's nothing.

Our brains shield us from trauma by shutting off the centers for memory, so it's understandable and can assure you you're NOT going insane. It's just a touch of derealization. You'll clear up again if/when you come back out of it. Maybe you already knew this, idk, but just attempting to help. I'm sorry its been so rough lately for you. Keep on the lookout. I have a feeling something will come your way soon.

 

[XXOutbackXx]

Each night I go to sleep hoping I'll die, only to awake each morning dissapointed that I didn't.

I've had this feeling many times before. Like the thought of wanting to die, I personally feel it's not really that. It's a wanting the pain to end. I hope you'll realize this too and keep on keeping on.

 

[Windhover]

No. But very sad.

 

[Inastorm]

No. But very sad.

Sending you warm wishes and happy thoughts seabird.