extremely suicdal today...saw my shrink and shes calling my house tomorrow at two and if i dont anwser the phone shes calling the cops...an attempt or a hospitalization is in my near furture
feel very suicidal today actually came very close to it last night am scared but crisis teams dont seem to want to help maybe they think im not worth it i know they are right. dont have a gp as my one quit his job with out warning and everyone else is fully booked. am too scared to go to a+e as last time i was there they was very nasty to me.
I feel like dousing myself with pure alcohol and setting myself on fire.
...but not because I want to die. Because this bathroom is fucking disgusting. I have a long night of cleaning ahead of me followed by bleaching my body.
yeah... or maybe i'm just angry and dissapointed... well, i don't know anymore. I feel like crawling under my bed and fall asleep for at least a few days... that's for sure
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