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Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Hi there Mike. Thank you. I hope you're doing all right. How was the wedding? Again thank you for your encouragement.
i'm doing a lot better now thank you. the wedding went ok but i'm so glad it's over. when I gave her away I said here, you take her she's yours now. my wife almost killed me but everyone laughed and my daughter knows and appreciates my weird sense of humor.
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
Tonight was the night I had chosen to kill myself (it had a reason and I had decided it long time ago). I'm here. I'm alive. I don't want to, I keep suffering and I don't want to keep living because this is my life: constant pain forever. But I'm alive. I don't know if this worths or I will keep thinking that I should have killed myself the first time I thought about it, and then I wouldn't have to have lived all this pain. But I haven't and neither this time. I'm still here
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Tonight was the night I had chosen to kill myself (it had a reason and I had decided it long time ago). I'm here. I'm alive. I don't want to, I keep suffering and I don't want to keep living because this is my life: constant pain forever. But I'm alive. I don't know if this worths or I will keep thinking that I should have killed myself the first time I thought about it, and then I wouldn't have to have lived all this pain. But I haven't and neither this time. I'm still here
*hug*hug*hugi'm glad you're still here I understand living in pain but we can also find good moments if we look. please keep fighting. mike *hug*hug
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
*hug*hug*hugi'm glad you're still here I understand living in pain but we can also find good moments if we look. please keep fighting. mike *hug*hug
Thank you. But today happens to be a bad night. So I'm crying on the floor regreting not having done it. I know that I live, that I win the battle against suicide for now but what does this worth if my pain keeps getting higher?
Thank you for your words, as always. I wish one day I could say good things here but I ran out of good things in life...
 

Yujin

Well-Known Member
Good luck Jolene. I know it feels as if you dont do it there’s only constant pain forever. I was so close to doing it a few hours ago and am still telling myself I must... I hope you can make it through this. It’s not the right choice although it feels like the only choice
 
Its weird. I've felt sad for so long and it just freaks me out that I'm not anymore. I feel as though everything will go back to how it was before- cold and dark. I should just be happy for finally being happy but I just don't. It doesn't really make any sense, lol
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Its weird. I've felt sad for so long and it just freaks me out that I'm not anymore. I feel as though everything will go back to how it was before- cold and dark. I should just be happy for finally being happy but I just don't. It doesn't really make any sense, lol
Totally makes sense to me. My therapist and
I even talk about this. As miserable as depression is, it becomes a familiar place. Glad you’re doing well though
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Its weird. I've felt sad for so long and it just freaks me out that I'm not anymore. I feel as though everything will go back to how it was before- cold and dark. I should just be happy for finally being happy but I just don't. It doesn't really make any sense, lol
welcome to SF we care but never judge so please feel free to look at the different threads and post when you can. and if you've been sad for a long time it's normal to be a little off if you feel happy. try to make it last as long as you can. mike *hug
 

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