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Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?
- Thread starter Petal
- Start date
i feel like i'm losing my purpose. music's been the only thing keeping me alive for years. all i ever wanted was to make it myself and maybe leave a little mark on the world. but i can't even do that anymore. i haven't touched my notebook in months. i've got nothing to write anymore. there's not a single thought in my head except death. and ignoring that, i have no talent. people always tell me my lyrics are awesome and i've even heard that they're the best they've ever seen from a couple people. but i can't sing. my voice is more broken than the political system. and even if i could, i have no energy. i just lie in bed and wait for the inevitable moment that my caretakers force me to get up, eat, shower, go to school and talk about meaningless bullshit with my therapist. i'm tired. i don't care about my dreams anymore. i just wanna die. i fucking hate everything.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
It's common for creative people to go through periods of low or no creativity. If you wait long enough, the inspiration to write will probably come again eventually.
You don't have to be a singer/songwriter. You could just be a songwriter if you'd like.
You could also just sing however you sing, and then people can like that or not.
It's common for creative people to go through periods of low or no creativity. If you wait long enough, the inspiration to write will probably come again eventually.
You don't have to be a singer/songwriter. You could just be a songwriter if you'd like.
You could also just sing however you sing, and then people can like that or not.
I dont think it's about talent, I think it's more about keeping going, even on the days you don't want to and you need to force yourself. They say the percentage of people who pick up an instrument and keep going is about 5%. I'd suggest you carry that notebook around with you and write anything down, how your feeling, whats in your surrounding, anything and just keep going, even when you dont want to. Set a target and stick to it.
That's awful, I'm sorry. It's hard enough to deal with the death of close relative, and it's exactly the wrong time for family members to be on their worse behavior.
You're welcome to say more about this if you'd like to, but I also understand if it's something you don't want to talk about.
Sending hugs if you would like hugs.
You're welcome to say more about this if you'd like to, but I also understand if it's something you don't want to talk about.
Sending hugs if you would like hugs.
Not actively interested in doing it, but I'm fantasizing about it for more time than I would like to spend. I really don't understand how if I sit to meditate I get antsy within 40 minutes, but I can obsess over how badly I've messed my life up for a couple hours before I notice that I'm just making myself feel worse for no benefit. It's so hard keeping my ass on this planet and I really need a rest, but there is no rest from the war inside of me.
