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Suicide Forum

Dante

Git
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#1
Some thoughts came together and solidified for me, so allow me to share them with you if you will.

I am an aspie, so I have spent my life studying people, trying to figure out how they work, they all seem to have been born with a manual on how to be a person and I just wasnt, so I had to watch them and learn. After 10 years I learned to imitate them, after 20 years I learned to be like them, and after 30 years I have seen through them and realised that what I saw as the "manual to being a human" is just a farce, they have no more idea than I do, they just seem to find it so easy because they dont care that they are getting it so completely wrong, and seem to get on so well with each other because there are more of them than of aspies. The more I look at the world around me, the more I am convinced that mankind, far from knowing how to be people, are clinically and measurably insane. I see people basing their beliefs on what they wish was true rather than endless overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I see people deliberately and consistently making the worst choice available I see people stumbling through life and cursing life for getting in the way when they walk into every problem they could have avoided if they just thought about it, I see friends betray each other on whims and instead value the praise of people they dont know, I have seen people convinced of their innocence even during committing a crime, I have seen people value the appearance of skill over actual growth as a person, I have seen the never ending madness of a species that, now that I think about it, I am surprised has survived this long, they are all absolute lunatics and the only reason they get to call themselves "sane" is because there are so many of them that they are the ones who got to define "sanity".

Then I come here.

On SF I dont see unstable or crazy people, I dont see worthless people, I dont see weak people, or any of the other things people are always calling themselves on here. When I come to SF I see a group of the only sane people I know. People suffering under the constant barrage of madness of the world around them, people who cant take living in a world were the insane define sanity, where nothing ever makes sense and "justice" is simultaneously a high ideal and a joke. I come here and I see considered people, thinking about right and wrong, really evaluating their lives and themselves and asking the important questions, "am I a good person?", "why is the world the way it is?", "what is my fellow human thinking and feeling?", "what if anything can I do to make things better for myself?", "what can I do to help others?", "why am I alive?" These are famously the thoughts of the greatest thinkers and philosophers in history, Socrates even said "An unexamined life is not worth living" and yet here is the only place I see anyone living up to that ideal. This is a place full of the sane, the just, the noble and the good. People who are shunned because they know who they are rather than relying on others to tell them, people who are hurt by those they try so hard to help, people who were attacked by their protectors, people who cant see how truly wonderful they are because the standards they hold themselves to is just too high, and their base idea for what a person is just too virtuous so they discount all their virtues as just common acts and all their failings as deep shame. I come here even when I dont NEED to because here is where I can always count on finding people worth knowing.

If, in my day to day life, I was surrounded with the calibre of people I find on SF every single day, I would have lived a much happier, easier and better life than I do.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Wow, @Dante That really is a reality check right there. What an insightful post, you're absolutely correct, I come here so often because everyone is so peaceful and the people here actually care yet they think they are flawed, they ain't, I come here to escape the messed up world around me. They to me are the selfless, normal people I wish I had around me growing up. Thank you so much for this, should be sticked ;)
 

foreverforgotten

Quiet Observer
SF Supporter
#10
Aww.. This made me cry. XD
I'm having a hard time rn but I feel so much the same as you...this is the only sane place I have. I appreciate everyone here so much.... You all help keep hope alive... a support network... Your words are very relateable. Even when I'm okay I still lurk around here. and occasionally even reply! lol !
 
Last edited:

JDot

Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#11
You've hit the nail on the head. It really says something about our world when you have to go to a suicide forum to find some semblance of sanity. There's a lot of psychopathy in the people who run the world. If it was ran by people like fellow SF members, there would be a lot more peace. I'm glad we all have each other.
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
#15
so, i sat and copied (quoted) things above to respond to and now i see none actually got quoted so i’ll just say a lot of yups in agreement with what you’ve said and go back to try and quote the first one since i really related.
they all seem to have been born with a manual on how to be a person and I just wasnt,
and just to share sameness i guess, i’ve found myself saying pretty much similar. my presently on hold therapist thinks i’m an aspie. though i question that as much as accept it i have considered that i’m missing a part that actually should be standard with the equipment. that’s pretty similar i think. don’t you? but who knows. maybe here on SF we’ve all just stumbled upon the right place and are lucky to be together or maybe its by design. anyway, glad i stopped by this thread. glad you posted.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#16
Some thoughts came together and solidified for me, so allow me to share them with you if you will.

I am an aspie, so I have spent my life studying people, trying to figure out how they work, they all seem to have been born with a manual on how to be a person and I just wasnt, so I had to watch them and learn. After 10 years I learned to imitate them, after 20 years I learned to be like them, and after 30 years I have seen through them and realised that what I saw as the "manual to being a human" is just a farce, they have no more idea than I do, they just seem to find it so easy because they dont care that they are getting it so completely wrong, and seem to get on so well with each other because there are more of them than of aspies. The more I look at the world around me, the more I am convinced that mankind, far from knowing how to be people, are clinically and measurably insane. I see people basing their beliefs on what they wish was true rather than endless overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I see people deliberately and consistently making the worst choice available I see people stumbling through life and cursing life for getting in the way when they walk into every problem they could have avoided if they just thought about it, I see friends betray each other on whims and instead value the praise of people they dont know, I have seen people convinced of their innocence even during committing a crime, I have seen people value the appearance of skill over actual growth as a person, I have seen the never ending madness of a species that, now that I think about it, I am surprised has survived this long, they are all absolute lunatics and the only reason they get to call themselves "sane" is because there are so many of them that they are the ones who got to define "sanity".

Then I come here.

On SF I dont see unstable or crazy people, I dont see worthless people, I dont see weak people, or any of the other things people are always calling themselves on here. When I come to SF I see a group of the only sane people I know. People suffering under the constant barrage of madness of the world around them, people who cant take living in a world were the insane define sanity, where nothing ever makes sense and "justice" is simultaneously a high ideal and a joke. I come here and I see considered people, thinking about right and wrong, really evaluating their lives and themselves and asking the important questions, "am I a good person?", "why is the world the way it is?", "what is my fellow human thinking and feeling?", "what if anything can I do to make things better for myself?", "what can I do to help others?", "why am I alive?" These are famously the thoughts of the greatest thinkers and philosophers in history, Socrates even said "An unexamined life is not worth living" and yet here is the only place I see anyone living up to that ideal. This is a place full of the sane, the just, the noble and the good. People who are shunned because they know who they are rather than relying on others to tell them, people who are hurt by those they try so hard to help, people who were attacked by their protectors, people who cant see how truly wonderful they are because the standards they hold themselves to is just too high, and their base idea for what a person is just too virtuous so they discount all their virtues as just common acts and all their failings as deep shame. I come here even when I dont NEED to because here is where I can always count on finding people worth knowing.

If, in my day to day life, I was surrounded with the calibre of people I find on SF every single day, I would have lived a much happier, easier and better life than I do.
I agree with you 💯. We all start out fumbling around trying to fake life till we make it. While I did find an instruction manual for my life, most don’t look for one at all. Like you said we do what we are taught to do and to believe what we’re taught to believe. Some believe success is measured in money, some believe it’s measure in friends, and others believe it’s measured in family. It’s all about priorities.
I also agree with you that even though everyone here is suffering, they are the sane. To me there’s more hope for the person who suffers than one who loves this world. The one who suffers deals with reality, while the one who doesn’t lives in denial. While the world is physically beautiful, how can we deny the ever present feeling that something is terribly wrong? It’s in our face 24/7.
 
#17
Some thoughts came together and solidified for me, so allow me to share them with you if you will.

I am an aspie, so I have spent my life studying people, trying to figure out how they work, they all seem to have been born with a manual on how to be a person and I just wasnt, so I had to watch them and learn. After 10 years I learned to imitate them, after 20 years I learned to be like them, and after 30 years I have seen through them and realised that what I saw as the "manual to being a human" is just a farce, they have no more idea than I do, they just seem to find it so easy because they dont care that they are getting it so completely wrong, and seem to get on so well with each other because there are more of them than of aspies. The more I look at the world around me, the more I am convinced that mankind, far from knowing how to be people, are clinically and measurably insane. I see people basing their beliefs on what they wish was true rather than endless overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I see people deliberately and consistently making the worst choice available I see people stumbling through life and cursing life for getting in the way when they walk into every problem they could have avoided if they just thought about it, I see friends betray each other on whims and instead value the praise of people they dont know, I have seen people convinced of their innocence even during committing a crime, I have seen people value the appearance of skill over actual growth as a person, I have seen the never ending madness of a species that, now that I think about it, I am surprised has survived this long, they are all absolute lunatics and the only reason they get to call themselves "sane" is because there are so many of them that they are the ones who got to define "sanity".

Then I come here.

On SF I dont see unstable or crazy people, I dont see worthless people, I dont see weak people, or any of the other things people are always calling themselves on here. When I come to SF I see a group of the only sane people I know. People suffering under the constant barrage of madness of the world around them, people who cant take living in a world were the insane define sanity, where nothing ever makes sense and "justice" is simultaneously a high ideal and a joke. I come here and I see considered people, thinking about right and wrong, really evaluating their lives and themselves and asking the important questions, "am I a good person?", "why is the world the way it is?", "what is my fellow human thinking and feeling?", "what if anything can I do to make things better for myself?", "what can I do to help others?", "why am I alive?" These are famously the thoughts of the greatest thinkers and philosophers in history, Socrates even said "An unexamined life is not worth living" and yet here is the only place I see anyone living up to that ideal. This is a place full of the sane, the just, the noble and the good. People who are shunned because they know who they are rather than relying on others to tell them, people who are hurt by those they try so hard to help, people who were attacked by their protectors, people who cant see how truly wonderful they are because the standards they hold themselves to is just too high, and their base idea for what a person is just too virtuous so they discount all their virtues as just common acts and all their failings as deep shame. I come here even when I dont NEED to because here is where I can always count on finding people worth knowing.

If, in my day to day life, I was surrounded with the calibre of people I find on SF every single day, I would have lived a much happier, easier and better life than I do.
omg!!! You put my whole entire life into one paragraph. You get me!!! Thank you so much!!!
 

JMG

Changing, always changing.
#18
Hey Dante, just wanted to say thanks so much both for posting this thread, and for posting a link to it in your sig which is how I came to read what you wrote in here (along with everyone's replies) :) It's truly wonderful to read someone write all the things you said and feel like maybe I'm not as bad as I can sometimes feel like I am.

It feels like for as long as I can remember that I felt like something was wrong with me in some way and that people didn't like me as much as they seemed to like most other people, all kinds of paranoid, fearful and probably at least some of the time untrue things but it all stemmed from a very deep fear and insecurity of people not wanting to help me when it might be genuinely needed and not knowing what that would cause me to do and things like that.

I've never been very good at putting it all into words but basically I just found it very offensive how often it really did feel like people didn't like me or want to be my friend or be near me when I felt like I was always doing my best to be nice, helpful, supportive, encouraging and just an otherwise good person. Especially as a kid it doesn't seem to be in their nature (kids I mean) to appreciate such qualities unless you have the outer stuff (ie looks or at least where you're fairly rich and therefore have cooler clothes, toys and whatever else) but even as a teen it wasn't really that much better. I was just such a bloody loner that no one bothered me and I was just fine with that. It's funny really, I feared high school so much as a kid but it's cos I based my beliefs about it on what I saw on TV and in the movies, where it was always portrayed as this horrible place where people said and did such mean things and if you weren't a "cool" kid then you were at risk for getting bullied and/or beat up and things like that. I felt very lucky that I never had to deal with that on top of everything else I already had to deal with at least.

Anyway sorry, didn't mean for this post to be so long so I'll just say - thank you very much for posting this topic and putting a link to it in your sig or I might never have seen it. I truly appreciate both what you said, that you took the time to type it all out in this thread and also that you write well because god that sure does make things easier than to constantly have to mentally correct a bunch of typos and things like that lol ;) :p
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#19
Bumping this incredible thread up for the newer members, people...Dante's post here is like a breath of fresh air, every time I read it, I feel much better, it's unbelievable how much I can relate to this and other's obviously can too judging by the above replies.

New member's, enjoy... thank you @Dante for your genius mind, you have made other brilliantly written and relatable threads too. You should write books ;) ...seriously :)
 

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