Hi,
I'm 14 years old - nearly 15. And I have suicide on my mind almost every single day and minute. I pain inside all the time, not knowing the reason to live, I don't think there is no reason for me to live. I suck at all my subjects at School. Where nearly every class mate is as smart as hell. I don't like myself, I actually hate myself very much. I don't see no point on living. I feel that no one cares the way I feel - I've got no one to talk about my situation except on this forum. I just wish I was more intelligent.
I just feel I don't have a future. Is my problem mainly because of School? yes. To be honest, I'm not liking my friends anymore, I just want to keep myself away from them. I want a more adventurous life. It may sound like I'm just whining, but these are my true feelings. There is no one who can turn my situation around but myself, right? but people on here should help. I think of killing myself the easiest way I can, like with pills or cutting my throat.
As with my home work, I just don't want to do it. Mainly because of my depression - home work doesn't make my life any better so why should I do it. I'd rather go out and play one of my favourite computer games. I feel this way because I try to make myself more happy. But my feelings taunt me all the time with depression. Which goes on to lead to suicide which is currently on my mind.
I seriously I don't want to live. I don't think that this situation can be solved without killing myself. I mean, what's going to happen when I'm older? I'm just going to grow up old and die - if I actually live that long. But I don't like life, everyday is just killing myself. :wink:
I haven't spoken to anyone about my problematic situation, except my best friend; Zoe. *but that was just Today. I normally keep things such as personal emotions to myself, as I don't like sharing my feelings to any one at-all. But I just think this will help.
I want to die. I think there is no after life, so if I did die, I wouldn't have to think or be emotional anymore. And all this rubbish about there is an after-life, I just don't understand. I think it's just a plore to think there is a meaning of life, which is having a life then moving on to better one. I wish some one could kill me, it would be less bearable to do it to myself, so some one doing it for me would be much better.
I just give up. I think of myself as a failure.
(ps: I actually went out to look for a forum like this on google. I'm glad I found it)
I'm 14 years old - nearly 15. And I have suicide on my mind almost every single day and minute. I pain inside all the time, not knowing the reason to live, I don't think there is no reason for me to live. I suck at all my subjects at School. Where nearly every class mate is as smart as hell. I don't like myself, I actually hate myself very much. I don't see no point on living. I feel that no one cares the way I feel - I've got no one to talk about my situation except on this forum. I just wish I was more intelligent.
I just feel I don't have a future. Is my problem mainly because of School? yes. To be honest, I'm not liking my friends anymore, I just want to keep myself away from them. I want a more adventurous life. It may sound like I'm just whining, but these are my true feelings. There is no one who can turn my situation around but myself, right? but people on here should help. I think of killing myself the easiest way I can, like with pills or cutting my throat.
As with my home work, I just don't want to do it. Mainly because of my depression - home work doesn't make my life any better so why should I do it. I'd rather go out and play one of my favourite computer games. I feel this way because I try to make myself more happy. But my feelings taunt me all the time with depression. Which goes on to lead to suicide which is currently on my mind.
I seriously I don't want to live. I don't think that this situation can be solved without killing myself. I mean, what's going to happen when I'm older? I'm just going to grow up old and die - if I actually live that long. But I don't like life, everyday is just killing myself. :wink:
I haven't spoken to anyone about my problematic situation, except my best friend; Zoe. *but that was just Today. I normally keep things such as personal emotions to myself, as I don't like sharing my feelings to any one at-all. But I just think this will help.
I want to die. I think there is no after life, so if I did die, I wouldn't have to think or be emotional anymore. And all this rubbish about there is an after-life, I just don't understand. I think it's just a plore to think there is a meaning of life, which is having a life then moving on to better one. I wish some one could kill me, it would be less bearable to do it to myself, so some one doing it for me would be much better.
I just give up. I think of myself as a failure.
(ps: I actually went out to look for a forum like this on google. I'm glad I found it)
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