for like 7 years I keep researching suicide methods because I so fucking badly want to die. But I'm so scared of it not working and waking up after failing or having permanent damage so I've never even attempted. When I hear about people in the news or whatever that have killed themselves I get jealous bc they had the fucking balls to do it and I don't. I wish I could pay someone to do it for me to ensure I'm dead and won't wake up. lol. If I could snap my fingers and be dead in an instant painlessly I would've done it when I was 16. I just really want to cut right now and have wanted to for a while but I don't want anymore scars. But lately the scars don't seem to be turning me away from cutting as I am starting to not care about the scars of it means I can self harm. I know I'm fucked up. Sorry I keep posting random shit rants but I literally have no one and I don't know what to do. I'm stuck between wanting to die and he dead and scared of the pain of dying or failing.
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Thanks.. "What kind of support?" A bottle of vodka, tequila? Too bad I'm at work right now. But really- what kind of support- honestly I wish I had a boyfriend to do things with, go places with, lay in bed and talk, be comforted, have someone to be intimate with. But this won't happen since I have 0 confidence and hate myself yay.
There are a number of things you can do to increase the chances that you can find a good relationship. One is to make sure you have good flirting skills, and another is to put yourself in situations where you have a chance to meet someone. There's also something like online dating that might be worth a try.
No one knows what the future is going to hold. If you don't believe it can happen, it gets a lot harder for it to happen.
Have you ever tried CBT?
No one knows what the future is going to hold. If you don't believe it can happen, it gets a lot harder for it to happen.
Have you ever tried CBT?
I’m sorry to hear you have been struggling. It is good you are reaching out. You are not alone in your feelings. So many get so overwhelmed that the only resolution they see is death. I can tell you that it doesn’t solve anything. I’ve had two suicides in my family and there was no peace from it at all. One was successful and the other ended up on life support. It was terrible for all involved. Please, rethink your motives. Life is good. We just need some extra help at times because we tend to get in our own worlds and we cannot see beyond it. You are valued and you have a purpose. Reach out and talk to somebody. Don’t give up. There is so much to accomplish in this life. You must have other goals and dreams other than planning your own death! How about volunteering with children or elderly? There is always a need for mentors. Somebody to express love and guidance in tough situations. This would do wonders for anybody that is feeling low. Praying you find some hope and healing!
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