well first off, right aaway and so obviously one could even say, is hijacker. everyday hijacker is kinda pointing down my road and telling me “nnn nnn that way you aint going” then it does its routine and makes me feel ungood. but i think also, that majorly, it is that i feel uncomfortable with people and they recognize that immediately and feel as if i just don’t really want to be close so trying for them is unnecessary or maybe even a bad idea. i feel as if interrelating with people is like liberation and then doing things and having ideas of what to do, popping into your own head. it is like making living fun when otherwise it isn’t and here in my life, i’m not really having fun but kind of watching its availablity just out of reach. i wrote a piece of poetic prose (that i call a game) a couple years ago about this exactly. so i guess what holds me back is my inability to connect to other people. and thus not being a complete person. a complete person, being one who is connected.[/QUOTE]
I felt i have this same issue and than i started to inform myself..and it s like this..if you are not trying or your body looks in self defence..people are not coming at you..also we..whwn we meet people..it s easier to start conversation with the ones that look more available ..and usually the ones who are making first step.
I guess after all it s just a matter of self image..probably it s easier to let it go into the world..not care..and just be..but it s easier to say than do