It has been almost 6 years. Six years, where I struggle each day. Six years, and a little piece of me still shouts out that I'm to blame. Six years, and I still sleep with her little shirt. Six years, she'd be 12 now.
I miss her so much I think my heart is literally breaking. There is such an ache in my chest that I'm sure my heart will give out soon. And I think of my angel, skipping about, and looking at me with that smile.
That smile...that smile with 4 missing teeth. We had just put the last one under her pillow 3 nights before. That smile, with her one dimple and that sparkle in her eyes. That smile, that more often than not turned into a fit of giggles.
I really tried to focus on all the good things today. I finished a poem I wrote for her and decided that I'm going to the lake and feed the ducks for her.
But as today moved along the horrible sadness slowly returned. I haven't found words that can describe how deep my sense of loss is. I will never see her grow up. I will never get to talk to her about boyfriends and college and marriage. I will never get to see her become a mother. I will never have grandchildren.
Six years and I think the pain has just gotten worse. I miss you so very much!
I miss her so much I think my heart is literally breaking. There is such an ache in my chest that I'm sure my heart will give out soon. And I think of my angel, skipping about, and looking at me with that smile.
That smile...that smile with 4 missing teeth. We had just put the last one under her pillow 3 nights before. That smile, with her one dimple and that sparkle in her eyes. That smile, that more often than not turned into a fit of giggles.
I really tried to focus on all the good things today. I finished a poem I wrote for her and decided that I'm going to the lake and feed the ducks for her.
But as today moved along the horrible sadness slowly returned. I haven't found words that can describe how deep my sense of loss is. I will never see her grow up. I will never get to talk to her about boyfriends and college and marriage. I will never get to see her become a mother. I will never have grandchildren.
Six years and I think the pain has just gotten worse. I miss you so very much!