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Time for a new topic?

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#1
Hi all! I'm feeling a bit stuck in finding materials for the motivation topic (I know, the irony :rolleyes:) that are not too oversimplified. I feel like materials that simply tell us to "cheer up and get to work" are counterproductive.

So, for those of you who are interested, what are your needs? Also, please be patient with me as I want to help everyone I can, but have my own set of strengths and limitations. The next topic will be based on needs as well as the availability of helpful free material. Thank you for your help in shaping the next study topic!
 
#2
Hi @PhoenixFailed first be gentle on yourself as agree motivational materials seem to be too "Polyanna on steroids" e.g. let's all be ever so happy in feeling motivated...or so boringly simplified....as far as needs...the list is long for me (lol) so still contemplating that one as wouldn't want my suggestions to be self-serving...but had a thought ...i'm an avid reader when I make the time so ....what about the idea of a "book club"...so could select a book/poetry/short stories that could be read and all could share thoughts/impressions like a traditional book club...selecting the reading (eg self help, inspirational etc) and availability (online, kindle, hard copy) to all just realized would both be challenging though...so this idea may not be viable...So after this rant will drink more coffee and think on it some more....
 

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#5
This forum started with the idea of a book club kind of format. I would love to do that if people are up for it. I want to make sure finances are not an issue or that we could provide "scholarships" for interested members--but I have no idea how that would work.

As for being "self-serving" in issues, please bring those ideas forward. This forum is to serve members, so fire away...:)
 

HoodyMoody

Well-Known Member
#6
I'm up for a book club. @PhoenixFailed in case libraries don't carry the titles or someone isn't able to afford them, there are always electronic versions (pdf, mobi, epub,...). Most classic have been converted, but in general I suppose the availability would depend on the title. In case some members do get their hands on a physical copy, and no electronic version is available, if possible those members could scan the books (depending on if they're fine with breaking the law that is :P ).
 
#7
This forum started with the idea of a book club kind of format. I would love to do that if people are up for it. I want to make sure finances are not an issue or that we could provide "scholarships" for interested members--but I have no idea how that would work.

As for being "self-serving" in issues, please bring those ideas forward. This forum is to serve members, so fire away...:)
Yes I agree finances should not be an issue...but so much now is available online so may not be an issue...and maybe can you put stuff up in the cloud(?)...I'm technologically challenged so excuse if this isn't good idea...
In regards to topics-- was thinking of a mixture of self-help but maybe along lines of novels, short stories as well as more traditional formats if that makes sense...
 

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#8
Yes I agree finances should not be an issue...but so much now is available online so may not be an issue...and maybe can you put stuff up in the cloud(?)...I'm technologically challenged so excuse if this isn't good idea...
In regards to topics-- was thinking of a mixture of self-help but maybe along lines of novels, short stories as well as more traditional formats if that makes sense...
That makes sense. I think literature might require a new spot in the forum, but would be fun. (I love to read and would make more time for reading for enjoyment if I was doing it as a group activity.)

I am still hoping for specific areas where people would like to engage in a guided study for this forum. Any specifics from anyone would be appreciated or we could tackle the second most popular topic identified in the original survey.
 
#9
@PhoenixFailed...yes agree a separate spot on forums for "book club" idea and sorry i got sidetracked and sidetracked others on your initial inquiry re topics...i just looked at the original survey and like the idea of self-confidence being the next topic as it ties into so many other things ....
 

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#10
@PhoenixFailed...yes agree a separate spot on forums for "book club" idea and sorry i got sidetracked and sidetracked others on your initial inquiry re topics...i just looked at the original survey and like the idea of self-confidence being the next topic as it ties into so many other things ....
No apologies needed! I love the idea very much!

Oy! Self-confidence, I had not looked yet. I guess I better start researching...:eek: (No where near my strong suite! Although mental health topics rarely are...:rolleyes:)
 
#13
I just thought about the concept of forgiveness.
I have some unfinished businesses with my mother and I would like to know more about that topic.
I do not believe in God and know this concept is often mentioned in clerical relatedness...
But it is much more than this, I guess and could be useful for some more on here still quarreling with old biographical issues.
Don't know. Just an idea.
 
#14
@Poly Anne i like the idea of forgiveness as well as it is also something I've been grappling with as well with the relationship with my father and as you said it is much larger than just our relationships with others as is also with our relationship with our selves as well...
 

PhoenixFailed

Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017
SF Supporter
#15
I like the idea of forgiveness and letting go of the past... Might help ullbeyond some hurdles. I wonder if it will help with the PTSD too.
 
#17
I know this post is a few weeks old but while I was working through my depression and questioning my relationships I came across a video or article (I'm sorry I can't remember exactly where I saw it) that said that to truly move past the anger and resentment towards the people in your life that have hurt you- you have to stop blaming them. Before I even read (or heard) more my head was already justifying why my situation was different but the next part is what changed my way of thinking for good. He said that regardless what a person did to you- you are the only one responsible for how you allow it to make you feel. If you are hurt by someone yet continue a relationship with them, you are telling them that your feelings aren't important and they will continue to hurt you. Even if it's a parent, you have the right to remove toxic people from your life or you can choose to not be affected by their hurtful actions but your decision is only yours. That has helped me a lot with my relationship with my mother.
 
#18
@gabiginger you are so right about that especially with parents...as I have had to do that with my father whom I was estranged from for many years. Only now am I beginning to try to have a relationship with him again. But it is still hard as it is so easy to fall back into the old way of reacting/behaving since that is what I've done for the majority of my life with him. And also it is a work in progress to truly forgive him for his behavior. In part this is because he's not yet at a place to really understand the impact of his words, behavior. I haven't broached this with him as he is still suffering from depression from my mother's death 2 years ago. So like many things it is a work in progress...but feel that I am I guess partially forgiving and have learned to keep some distance as well so don't get sucked in both to his behaviors and my reactions if that makes any sense.
 

Baicha

Well-Known Member
#19
Hmmm @gabiginger that's interesting! No idea if I'll be able to put it into practice, but might help me make sense of some of what I'm feeling.
Forgiveness would be a very useful topic for me, I need to learn to forgive myself more than anyone else I think, perhaps if I can do that I can start to 'love' myself and maybe (???) begin to trust myself and my husband. Or maybe it's him I need to forgive ???? - sigh - well whoever, yes forgiveness would be very welcome
 

Innocent Forever

Go as long as you can. And then take another step.
SF Supporter
#20
I know this post is a few weeks old but while I was working through my depression and questioning my relationships I came across a video or article (I'm sorry I can't remember exactly where I saw it) that said that to truly move past the anger and resentment towards the people in your life that have hurt you- you have to stop blaming them. Before I even read (or heard) more my head was already justifying why my situation was different but the next part is what changed my way of thinking for good. He said that regardless what a person did to you- you are the only one responsible for how you allow it to make you feel. If you are hurt by someone yet continue a relationship with them, you are telling them that your feelings aren't important and they will continue to hurt you. Even if it's a parent, you have the right to remove toxic people from your life or you can choose to not be affected by their hurtful actions but your decision is only yours. That has helped me a lot with my relationship with my mother.
That's why there are recovery programs that get you to write down every person you resent and why, and the part you played in it to allow it to happen.
I'd love to do this when my laptop is repaired for then can see the youtube's et al.
 

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