Tired of trying

[janvan]

There is really no point to continuing to live.
I am of no use to any one or myself.
Have been taking tabs for a few days now and already feeling a little ill.
Been sh'ing too - a lot which I dont often do.
Pain and life is too much now.
I dont know why I am posting as the decision was made days ago. After seeing a new hospital psychologist today, it only confirmed that the
re is nothing anyone can do to help. Couldnt tell her outright of my plans but she realised I am quite low - thinks she will be talking to me on the phone on Monday but I wont be around.
Just sad (but accepting) that noone will notice I am gone.

 

[Petal]

Hi there,

what use are you taking the tablets for? are you wanting them to make you feel ill?

 

[janvan]

The last few attempts saw me in ICU. THis time i just want it to finish for good. Dont care if organs are damaged - eventually the end will come.

 

[may71]

please don't say these things!

we care about you here and we will be sad if you go

 

[IV2010]

please don't go Janvan...
we can hold on together?! :hug:

 

[janvan]

Another few days of ICU. Really badly damaged this time. I cant keep going like this but the doctors dont want to hospitalise me and I get sent home. I dont kno what to do any more. Why cant anyone help me? I cant do it alone.

 

[may71]

hello Janvan,

sorry that you've been having such a hard time

so it sounds like the health care system has failed you. you've tried anti-depressants that haven't worked, your therapist keeps skipping appointments and you just see subs, and the hospital keeps sending you home

I wonder if you could see a patient advocate to try to straighten things out. I think that you could be getting much better care than what you are getting

I don't know how the system works in Australia. Here's a link that I found on-line.

brisbane patient advocacy

http://www.health.qld.gov.au/qhppc/

have you discussed rTMS or electroshock with anyone?

acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine can be expensive, but it could help with both pain and depression

oh, and most of the book on depression that I recommend is available on-line, link below

connecting with other people might be helpful. group therapy? something else?

you really deserve to have some good things happen in your life for a change. I love you and I hope that things can get better!

:hug: :hug: :hug: