Tomorrow morning I am going to overdose enough to kill me. I can't bear it anymore.
I'm waiting 'til tomorrow morning because my boyfriend will be at school and my mum will be at work. It will have enough time to work.
Fuck everything. I'm done. I give up.
I came "home" today. It isn't home, it doesn't feel like home. My mum is a spiteful cow. I love her so much it hurts but she hurts me so much I can't take it any more. It's so unfair. I hate everything. It's never going to get better for me. I am beyond help.
On top of everything else (all the shit with my mum's ex, and all the shit with my mum, and the fact that I had another hour of therapy today and talking about it FUCKS ME UP!!) I found out today that my biological father has moved back into my very local area. I hate him. I don't want any contact with him but I want him to want to have contact with me!
What the fuck did I do that's so wrong?!! I'm a bad person. I allow bad things to happen and I bring out the worst in others.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to let you all down.
I love you all so much. And Charles, I'm so so sorry to do this, I feel like I'm letting you down personally seeing as I have talked you out of suicide before. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. What can I say? I'm a horrible person. Just keep on fighting hon'. Please. Sixty years, remember?
You'll all be better off really. Hypocritical though it is I don't want you guys to give up. Please fight it. I'm just completely beyond help myself.
Goodbye.
x x x x x
I'm waiting 'til tomorrow morning because my boyfriend will be at school and my mum will be at work. It will have enough time to work.
Fuck everything. I'm done. I give up.
I came "home" today. It isn't home, it doesn't feel like home. My mum is a spiteful cow. I love her so much it hurts but she hurts me so much I can't take it any more. It's so unfair. I hate everything. It's never going to get better for me. I am beyond help.
On top of everything else (all the shit with my mum's ex, and all the shit with my mum, and the fact that I had another hour of therapy today and talking about it FUCKS ME UP!!) I found out today that my biological father has moved back into my very local area. I hate him. I don't want any contact with him but I want him to want to have contact with me!
What the fuck did I do that's so wrong?!! I'm a bad person. I allow bad things to happen and I bring out the worst in others.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to let you all down.
I love you all so much. And Charles, I'm so so sorry to do this, I feel like I'm letting you down personally seeing as I have talked you out of suicide before. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. What can I say? I'm a horrible person. Just keep on fighting hon'. Please. Sixty years, remember?
You'll all be better off really. Hypocritical though it is I don't want you guys to give up. Please fight it. I'm just completely beyond help myself.
Goodbye.
x x x x x