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Total social failure
- Thread starter sadhart
- Start date
Yesterday, I may have made a mistake at work. Mot totally sure but either way it has been bothering me. A lot is bothering me. I just feel so much guilt and shame for past wrongs on my part. But I also feel bitter and resentful for being hurt by others who didn't care what they did. I don't know....maybe I'm jealous that most people don't struggle like this.
I'm really not looking forward to the rest of this week.
I'm really not looking forward to the rest of this week.
Do you think that this is an over-reaction, on your behalf, or an over-sight, in the sense that it is more moving over or towards that of being a fixation - in that, you can't make a mistake, or you hyper-focus in on it & etc. (& to an unnecessary degree?). Or do you feel that it is perfectly natural, normal, and healthy amount for you to be concerned with it? Was it a massive mistake, or error? How would others in your shoes, who made a similar - handle it? Hopefully, you can find some answers as to what you did, or did not do, and then are able to put in proper perspective, learn from it--if helpful? . . . & then, be able to move on from it, so that it does not continue to hinder you, or wear/drag you down.
Also sorry to hear of the guilt and shame being so prominent or profound right now. You have the right to feel the way you do over what has been done to you by others. It's okay to feel that way too, wishing that it didn't have to be this way and that you'd had an experience in life free from these actions of others who'd hurt you. Always hard to compare though, so just remember that. Often leads to improper analysis. We'll overvalue something - maybe on their end / & then, conversely, undervalue something - of ours. Anyway, hope you have a better day today!
Also sorry to hear of the guilt and shame being so prominent or profound right now. You have the right to feel the way you do over what has been done to you by others. It's okay to feel that way too, wishing that it didn't have to be this way and that you'd had an experience in life free from these actions of others who'd hurt you. Always hard to compare though, so just remember that. Often leads to improper analysis. We'll overvalue something - maybe on their end / & then, conversely, undervalue something - of ours. Anyway, hope you have a better day today!
I'm honestly never sure if feeling like this is overthinking things. It probably is. But for me, I've had experienced being judged in a way that makes me think my actions are almost always wrong or something.
I guess I'm always afraid also of coming off arrogant, meaning in a way where I come off as if everything or everyone else is always wrong and I'm always right. Maybe it's "playing it safe" to second guess myself first before others. Though really, it doesn't always seem fair to me.
I guess I'm always afraid also of coming off arrogant, meaning in a way where I come off as if everything or everyone else is always wrong and I'm always right. Maybe it's "playing it safe" to second guess myself first before others. Though really, it doesn't always seem fair to me.
Do you think there is a way for you to... modify, or alter & adapt - some of your ways or approaching this? The way you always have, or thought about things and then behaved, even if only in preventative fashion? It's a difficult balancing act, by the sounds of it, and it would take its toll I'd imagine. Perhaps you're making it just a little harder than it has to be. You seem to have some acknowledgement of this, which is good. Now it's just a matter of, what, if anything (because sometimes it's not all that feasible, or possible as in workable of a situation to correct, or curb on one's own). will help - you with this, to relax & to ease your symptoms. To me, it would be an exhaustive way of functioning in such an environment, however, I also know that not all of it necessarily is conscious, or being done as if it were a conscious decision. Some of it may be well engrained from deep within ourselves. And it then would take quite a bit more, than just perhaps, mental toughness--or will power--to completely fix it. But maybe, just maybe, there's a way...
I hope so as well. There is an auditor at work today. Some of the administrators are showing her around and when they got to me, they didn't stop to ask me any questions, which is what she did for some others. To be fair, I tried to look busy and occupied as the machine was down. But maybe the administrators with her know how awkward I am and didn't want me to say something stupid. I know, this is all just my negative thoughts and assumptions.
But it just took me back times people have treated me that way. Like because I don't talk much, they just see me as stupid and weird. And for my part, I just accepted this because to object or dare I say,stand up for myself, felt out of line or something.
Anyway,sorry I'm just rambling now.
I understand. It is also possible that your read or perception on the situation of or as to why, they decided not to talk to you, was or had actually little to no-thing to do with you. You just wouldn't know, with out I suppose going up to one of them - (the administrators) & asking them.
They could have been just randomly stopping by and chit-chatting. They could have been only stopping where there were concerns, however minor or major, including anything in between (maybe yours was one that did not have a problem). Personally, I'd prefer it that they not stop by & talk to me, as I can't think of many good reasons to talk voluntarily to an auditor.
Even if that had something to do with it. Your social awkwardness, or whatever you want to call it... You still could be over-blowing it, and maybe they viewed as, first of all, nowhere near as serious or severe & deep an issue as you may be doing especially when you tie it together with previous behaviors by others. Again, since you don't know the reasons why conclusively. They also could have looked at it as doing you a favor, for they know you don't supposedly love these interactions.
Next time, if you want it to be different, or more presentable. Just smile and say "Hi." Then let them decide if they'd wish to walk on over and converse. Again, that's if you're unhappy. Then that's what I might do. It could also have appeared to them, that given how busy you'd looked, that they'd be interrupting you, by interjecting themselves into your work, and disrupting things for you. So they chose to, in the absence of a really good reason why, neglect to / or decide not to - stop (on) by.
They could have been just randomly stopping by and chit-chatting. They could have been only stopping where there were concerns, however minor or major, including anything in between (maybe yours was one that did not have a problem). Personally, I'd prefer it that they not stop by & talk to me, as I can't think of many good reasons to talk voluntarily to an auditor.
Even if that had something to do with it. Your social awkwardness, or whatever you want to call it... You still could be over-blowing it, and maybe they viewed as, first of all, nowhere near as serious or severe & deep an issue as you may be doing especially when you tie it together with previous behaviors by others. Again, since you don't know the reasons why conclusively. They also could have looked at it as doing you a favor, for they know you don't supposedly love these interactions.
Next time, if you want it to be different, or more presentable. Just smile and say "Hi." Then let them decide if they'd wish to walk on over and converse. Again, that's if you're unhappy. Then that's what I might do. It could also have appeared to them, that given how busy you'd looked, that they'd be interrupting you, by interjecting themselves into your work, and disrupting things for you. So they chose to, in the absence of a really good reason why, neglect to / or decide not to - stop (on) by.
No, I know it was mostly me and just thinking more negatively than I should have been.
As for smiling and saying hello....you know, I realize how doing so would go a long way. Yet,it is just such a difficult thing for me to try doing more. I just feel so conflicted between wanting to connect with others and just saying to hell with everyone.
As for smiling and saying hello....you know, I realize how doing so would go a long way. Yet,it is just such a difficult thing for me to try doing more. I just feel so conflicted between wanting to connect with others and just saying to hell with everyone.
As if today couldn't be more difficult, I was driving on a one lane backroad and this prick in a truck comes speed racing behind me. I suppose because I was brazen enough to go the speed limit, he decides to barrel past me. Didn't pull this crap with anyone else.
It took me a long time to overcome my fear of driving enough to get my license. When things like this happen, it makes me question whether I should be on the road. I've come to learn that drivers like me are dangerous as opposed to the ones who casually go 20 over the speed limit.
It took me a long time to overcome my fear of driving enough to get my license. When things like this happen, it makes me question whether I should be on the road. I've come to learn that drivers like me are dangerous as opposed to the ones who casually go 20 over the speed limit.