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- Thread starter RCee
- Start date
Do you want to talk about what happened?@Petal @gypsylee
For the longest time I have tri d to dissociate and be in denial to separate my life from anyone who has been in my world . While I have been blamed in past for where I am and what I’m going thru u til recently it has taken me this long to at least be kind I myself and realize I am not to blame now from this point on I am to teckognize my son is ....is well ok so I’m not really here yet but now that after 4 years I am back with my old psychiatrist and yes on meds but she is wanting me to address outloud my son is He is always with me ! Just closer to his birthday I’m starting to lose grasp and while I’m herapy it feels like ten times fold
For the longest time I have tri d to dissociate and be in denial to separate my life from anyone who has been in my world . While I have been blamed in past for where I am and what I’m going thru u til recently it has taken me this long to at least be kind I myself and realize I am not to blame now from this point on I am to teckognize my son is ....is well ok so I’m not really here yet but now that after 4 years I am back with my old psychiatrist and yes on meds but she is wanting me to address outloud my son is He is always with me ! Just closer to his birthday I’m starting to lose grasp and while I’m herapy it feels like ten times fold
No you aren’t ranting 
It’s good you’re seeing someone about it. My brother died aged 33 in 2014 in an accident and I don’t feel like either of my parents have grieved “properly” over it. Not that there’s a wrong or right way to grieve and maybe they have, but to me they seem to have both just gone into denial. Neither of them have seen a professional about it. So good on you and yes, I feel like my brother is always with me.
It’s good you’re seeing someone about it. My brother died aged 33 in 2014 in an accident and I don’t feel like either of my parents have grieved “properly” over it. Not that there’s a wrong or right way to grieve and maybe they have, but to me they seem to have both just gone into denial. Neither of them have seen a professional about it. So good on you and yes, I feel like my brother is always with me.
@RCee I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are back with your old psychiatrist. It sounds like you trust them a lot. From my own experiences with grief it's very hard when a milestone day comes up, birthday, date of passing, etc. Would it be helpful for you to honor your son on his birthday? Or can you see you psychiatrist that day and talk about it with them? Sending all my love out to you, my friend. You are incredibly strong. 
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@Walker @HumanExMachina @lightning05 @sassy123 @gypsylee @Petal
Thank you all for all comments and what u had to say . Reaffirmation of not being alone and I will be ok for having others that actual care in the end and not just blame game to me . Might not be a solution but it is a step of making me feel confirmation a step closer to it not being my fault. Truth be told. And yes thank you for being here with me to the date. Maybe instead of denying it the more I think about the date and think about my baby the more ok I will feel for having these thoughts. I dunno maybe that doesn’t make sense but hey will try
Thank you all for all comments and what u had to say . Reaffirmation of not being alone and I will be ok for having others that actual care in the end and not just blame game to me . Might not be a solution but it is a step of making me feel confirmation a step closer to it not being my fault. Truth be told. And yes thank you for being here with me to the date. Maybe instead of denying it the more I think about the date and think about my baby the more ok I will feel for having these thoughts. I dunno maybe that doesn’t make sense but hey will try
@RCee I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are back with your old psychiatrist. It sounds like you trust them a lot. From my own experiences with grief it's very hard when a milestone day comes up, birthday, date of passing, etc. Would it be helpful for you to honor your son on his birthday? Or can you see you psychiatrist that day and talk about it with them? Sending all my love out to you, my friend. You are incredibly strong. s*
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