• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

Trying

RCee

Well-Known Member
#1
My sons birthday is coming up he would be 15 on the 19th

I feel like I’m counting down the days and making myself sick

Anyone else out there
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
I'm sorry for your loss and troubles coping with it, have you thought about reaching out to any bereavement groups or engaged in therapy to help you cope with your massive loss?
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#4
@Petal @gypsylee

For the longest time I have tri d to dissociate and be in denial to separate my life from anyone who has been in my world . While I have been blamed in past for where I am and what I’m going thru u til recently it has taken me this long to at least be kind I myself and realize I am not to blame now from this point on I am to teckognize my son is ....is well ok so I’m not really here yet but now that after 4 years I am back with my old psychiatrist and yes on meds but she is wanting me to address outloud my son is He is always with me ! Just closer to his birthday I’m starting to lose grasp and while I’m herapy it feels like ten times fold
 

gypsylee

SF Supporter
#6
@Petal @gypsylee

For the longest time I have tri d to dissociate and be in denial to separate my life from anyone who has been in my world . While I have been blamed in past for where I am and what I’m going thru u til recently it has taken me this long to at least be kind I myself and realize I am not to blame now from this point on I am to teckognize my son is ....is well ok so I’m not really here yet but now that after 4 years I am back with my old psychiatrist and yes on meds but she is wanting me to address outloud my son is He is always with me ! Just closer to his birthday I’m starting to lose grasp and while I’m herapy it feels like ten times fold
No you aren’t ranting :) It’s good you’re seeing someone about it. My brother died aged 33 in 2014 in an accident and I don’t feel like either of my parents have grieved “properly” over it. Not that there’s a wrong or right way to grieve and maybe they have, but to me they seem to have both just gone into denial. Neither of them have seen a professional about it. So good on you and yes, I feel like my brother is always with me.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#7
@RCee I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are back with your old psychiatrist. It sounds like you trust them a lot. From my own experiences with grief it's very hard when a milestone day comes up, birthday, date of passing, etc. Would it be helpful for you to honor your son on his birthday? Or can you see you psychiatrist that day and talk about it with them? Sending all my love out to you, my friend. You are incredibly strong. *hugs*
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#9
Hi. I have no idea how you feel here. Im not even going to try to feel that either... but wanted to send you some good thoughts. Best wishes.
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#11
@Walker @HumanExMachina @lightning05 @sassy123 @gypsylee @Petal
Thank you all for all comments and what u had to say . Reaffirmation of not being alone and I will be ok for having others that actual care in the end and not just blame game to me . Might not be a solution but it is a step of making me feel confirmation a step closer to it not being my fault. Truth be told. And yes thank you for being here with me to the date. Maybe instead of denying it the more I think about the date and think about my baby the more ok I will feel for having these thoughts. I dunno maybe that doesn’t make sense but hey will try
 

RCee

Well-Known Member
#13
@RCee I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are back with your old psychiatrist. It sounds like you trust them a lot. From my own experiences with grief it's very hard when a milestone day comes up, birthday, date of passing, etc. Would it be helpful for you to honor your son on his birthday? Or can you see you psychiatrist that day and talk about it with them? Sending all my love out to you, my friend. You are incredibly strong. *hugs*
Thanks I know I’m getting back to everyone late but even seeing replies to my posts about my son is sometimes hard to acknowledge I won’t hide away that day at least now I know I have outlets normally I do just hide maybe this year I should start a change
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$0.00
Goal
$255.00
Top